If you can't supply one, a rating on the Objective Hotness Scale from 1-10 (10 being Carrie Prejean, 0 being completely unique and alone on the scale as Helen Thomas) will have to suffice.
We encourage the photo, though.
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Posted on 06/18/2009 9:30:34 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
Dear Fellow FReepers, moral clarity needed.
My stepson just graduated from college and has moved back home.
Twice now I have woken up to find them both sleeping in his bed.
I don't like it, but my wife doesn't have a huge problem with it, since they have been dating almost a year. However, she says she will back me up on it.
Am I being reasonable? I am planning on nipping it in the bud tonight, but just wanted to run it by my fellow FReepers.
Thank you.
This is an excellent illustration as to why this country is on the verge of collapse: that this is even up for discussion. On a “conservative” forum no less. God help us.
if the stepp-son were, intead, your step-daughter would you even have posted the question?
I am more than willing to tell her she can’t stay if he doesn’t get the message.
your roof... your rules.
if he doesn’t like it, hand him the real estate & help wanted section of the local paper
No- absolutely no. They’re not married. Furthermore, you should take this opportunity to teach him that a man’s role is to honor and protect women, not to use them.
You could also tell him that he has no right to invite any overnight guest into your home without your permission. This is your wife’s and your home. He is stepping beyond the limits of your hospitality.
By the way, I have two adult college sons myself.
Your house, your rules.
Another data point for your reference: when I would spend the night over at my fiancé’s house [she lived with her parents out of town, she worked in town, I lived in town, so spending the night and driving into town together in the morning saved on driving] I would sleep in the guest bedroom, right up until we were married.
Also, if it were my home, I think I would kindly request that they sleep in different beds.
Alright, you have to explain this one to me.
If the stepson had been a stepdaughter, I would like be trying to make bail.
Seriously, no, I would not have posted the question. It’s amazing how we tend to see boys and girls differently.
In this case, I am also going to pretend that the girlfriend is my daughter.
Age wise he is an adult, but not life wise. He lives off of us.
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There’s more here than meets the eye. Sounds as if he will be long-term dependent? If so, build a separate residence above the detached garage, make him pay some rent, and let him live as he wishes.
I hope everything works out. Just remember, Father really does know best.
Your house, your rules...And I’d argue that even if he is paying rent, you can still put the kibosh on sleepovers. When I rented - both from my parents and from a landlord - I still had to abide by various rules. If I didn’t like a rule I was free to look elsewhere for living accommodations.
He is using her, and he is using you, too. And using your house as a Motel 6.
You have already seen them sleeping together at your house, twice. I know how we all weenie out on these issues. It's hard to confront someone who is doing this right in front of you.
Just say something to him like, I feel uncomfortable with your girlfriend sleeping over. Find some other arrangement. -- And leave it at that. No discussion, no argument.
The really sad thing is that if it weren't for the cancellation of the original 'you play, you pay' system, we wouldn't have the explosion of the baby-mamma phenomenon we see now. It's difficult to keep them from bumping bods when they have figured out that babies come with a guaranteed government check.
That said, I would have to say any child born to an unwed minor 16 or younger should be either 1)automatically adopted by the grandparent or 2)put up for adoption.
[Now I'll probably catch poo.... too!]
It doesn’t matter if he is paying rent. It’s STILL the father’s house, the father’s rules. Tenants do have to adher to a landlord’s rules, regardless. Just because a person may be paying “rent” doesn’t mean he has full license to use the property that is SHARED with others in any way he wishes. If he wants to live there, he must agree to abide by the rules, and if the rules are that he has no sleepover female guests, those are the rules. Tenants are entitled to “quiet enjoyment” of their rentals. They aren’t entitled to blatantly abuse the trust of the landlord.
If the son wants liscentious freedom, he should go somewhere else and pay what it’s worth to him.
Best answer, IMO.
Then I wish you the very best as you stand for what you know to be the right decision.
I’ll call Jerry Springer right now.
I wouldn’t let them. It’s your house, your rules. If you’re a Christian you’re endorsing sin.
If you can't supply one, a rating on the Objective Hotness Scale from 1-10 (10 being Carrie Prejean, 0 being completely unique and alone on the scale as Helen Thomas) will have to suffice.
We encourage the photo, though.
10=
0=
Regardless the morals (or lack thereof) of modern society, you have every right to insist on your views being respected in your own home. They don't like it, they can find another place to stay.
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