Or the entire album, "Chipmunk Punk!"
Mark
Posted on 12/09/2008 10:55:37 PM PST by This Just In
As reported earlier today by msnbc, there are a number of musicians who want the military to stop using their music to torture our enemies. Frankly, if our military commanders really wanted to inflict serious psychological damage, they would drop flyers featuring images of these very musicians. A mug shot of Marilyn Manson would surely scar the Dickens out of the most war hardened devoted terrorist. Or perhaps a picture of Liberace lavished in fur and bling bling.
On second thought, those pictures would only provide the enemy with a false sense of security in believing that the United States, with characters like Marilyn Manson prancing running the stage and in public, is doomed to implode.
Naturally, this caused me to consider what kind of music I would wish to play for my enemies. The first song that popped into my mind was Muskrat Love. I am confident that a majority of individuals reading this post will not need me to tell them what artist performed that hit (Surely Willis Alan Ramsey must have been smoking some serious hash when he came up with that gem). The second opus that entered my mind was that infamous Barney song.
As I pondered a plethora of possibilities out there, I thought I'd enlist the help of you FReepers for some input in providing your very own personal playlist of songs to torment our enemies by.
Here are several of my own:
1. Shonberg's Pierrot Lunaire (Actually, this may be false start. Can the French really cause that much psychological damage?)
2. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
3. Kajagoogoo's - Too Shy
Any song by the following:
Sheryl Crow
Barbra Streisand
Liza Minelli
Clay Aiken
Bruce Springsteen
Melissa Etheridge
Marilyn Manson
Wyclef Jean
Gwen Stefani
Black-Eyed Peas
that horrible Rihanna chick
Spice Girls/Backstreet Boys/N Stink
most ska and punk
any death metal or rap (both completely useless forms of music, or noise, I should say)
Pretty good (or awful, in this case) list here:
http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1864
Or the entire album, "Chipmunk Punk!"
Mark
Now that would scare me.
Say what you will, Liberace was an amazing entertainer, a phenomenal musician, and he loved his audiences, and always gave his all in his performances. Evel Knevel even patterned his "showmanship" after Liberace!
Mark
Bob Dylan
His songs are great.
But his voice sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas. Once inside my skull it rattles around until there’s nothing left.
How about REM’s anti-Bush (41) “Ignoreland”. The lyrics alone...torture:
How to be what you can be, jump jam junking your energies.
How to walk in dignity with throw-up on your shoes
They amplified the autumn, nineteen seventy-nine.
Calculate the capital, up the republic my skinny ass.
T.v. tells a million lies. the papers terrified to report
Anything that isn’t handed on a presidential spoon,
I’m just profoundly frustrated by all this. so, f-— you, man. (f-— m)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. ignoreland. yeah, yeah, yeah. ignoreland.
Though that one’s good in a way because it inspired the nickname Howie Carr gave to Patrick Kennedy
(my parody lyrics)
My father was a drunk old man
I could see him with a Chivas in his hand
He put a blonde in the pond
Didn’t think he did anything wrong
Never spent any time in jail
Got re-elected without fail
Oh life’s not easy for a Kennedy
The pills and the booze and the broads you see
One night Daddy took me to his dying bed
Poured himself a Chivas and with tears he said
He said, Patches I’m dependin’ on you son
To pull the family through, my son it’s all left up to you
It ruined “Carol of the bells”. Now whenever you hear THAT song all that’s in your head is, “Give-a-give-a-give-a give-a Garmin...Garmin dot com, garmin dot com, garmin dot commmmmmmm....”
bruce springsteens butchering of “the little drummer boy”
he should not be allowed near any chritmas song.
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot would be my #1 choice.
I really detest this droning, boring ballad. I mean, I REALLY hate it.
Running a not-so-close second would be "Horse With No Name" by America.
I think my parents must have listened to some particularly annoying AM radio station when I was a kid and those 2 songs were on the charts.
Kung Fu Fighting? Just the mention of that song reminds me, for some reason, of Rubberband Man. Remember that little ditty?
fredhead, you’re right. Bob is a great writer. My children always give me this look when Bob’s on the radio. One of these looks that says, “Who’s choking the duck?”
reagan_fanatic, how do these people come up with such songs? Do they all congregate at the Mediocre Songwriters Convention and try to figure out ways to dull our minds with this stuff?
How about Da Do Run Run Run by Shawn Cassidy? On second thought, any song by Shawn Cassidy. Make that ANY song by ANY Cassidy (except Eva, of course). A few decades back, I had the great misfortune of attending a, no, chaperoning my younger sibling to a Shawn Cassidy concert. This is what I heard the entire evening (imagine the decibel levels reaching maximum output):
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*faint*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s one from my teenage years, for some reason it stuck in my head....
David Geddes
Run Joey Run lyrics
(Chorus- woman’s voice)
Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gonna get married
Just you wait and see
Every night, the same old dream
I hate to close my eyes
I can’t erase the memory
The sound of Julie’s cry
She called me up, late that night
She said, “Joe, don’t come over,
But Dad and I just had a fight
And he stormed out the door!
I’ve never seen him act this way,
My God, he’s goin’ crazy
He said he’s gonna make you pay
For what we done— he’s got a GUN!
So run, Joey run, Joey run!”
(Chorus- woman’s voice)
Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gonna get married
Just you wait and see
Got in my car, and I drove like mad
‘Til I reached Julie’s place
She ran to me, with tear-filled eyes
And bruises on her face!
All at once I saw him there,
Sneaking up behind me (Woman’s voice: Watch out!)
Then Julie yelled, “He’s got a gun!”
And she stepped in front of me
Suddenly, a shot rang out
And I saw Julie falling!
I ran to her, I held her close
When I looked down, my hands were red
And here’s the last words Julie said...
(Woman’s voice)
Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gon...na get... mar...ried......
Run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey ruuuuuunn!!!
Reminds me of that country tune by Rodney Akins, Cleaning My Gun. Have you heard it? Actually, I hate the song, but the lyrics are funny.
Also reminds me of a true story I heard. Way back when this guy was dating his future wife (she was a lot younger than he), the guy met her father for the first time. The dad was a champion marksman. The dad told this guy, while the two were alone in the study, that it’s funny how a person can’t outrun a bullet.
That’s a true story.
A friend of mine took her daughter and some other teens to a Vanilla Ice concert when he was in his heyday. She begged me to come with but I was a terrible friend and let her suffer on her own.
“Feelings” by Morris Albert usually has me wanting to park the car in the garage, run the door down and let it idle for awhile.
The only way I’d attend a Vanilla Ice concert would be if I was sportin’ cammo, packin’ some CS gas, and a mask.
Cyber Libery, that song should be the progressives “National” athem.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.