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Music To Torment By (Vanity)
December 9, 2008 | This Just In

Posted on 12/09/2008 10:55:37 PM PST by This Just In

As reported earlier today by msnbc, there are a number of musicians who want the military to stop using their music to torture our enemies. Frankly, if our military commanders really wanted to inflict serious psychological damage, they would drop flyers featuring images of these very musicians. A mug shot of Marilyn Manson would surely scar the Dickens out of the most war hardened devoted terrorist. Or perhaps a picture of Liberace lavished in fur and bling bling.

On second thought, those pictures would only provide the enemy with a false sense of security in believing that the United States, with characters like Marilyn Manson prancing running the stage and in public, is doomed to implode.

Naturally, this caused me to consider what kind of music I would wish to play for my enemies. The first song that popped into my mind was Muskrat Love. I am confident that a majority of individuals reading this post will not need me to tell them what artist performed that hit (Surely Willis Alan Ramsey must have been smoking some serious hash when he came up with that gem). The second opus that entered my mind was that infamous Barney song.

As I pondered a plethora of possibilities out there, I thought I'd enlist the help of you FReepers for some input in providing your very own personal playlist of songs to torment our enemies by.

Here are several of my own:

1. Shonberg's Pierrot Lunaire (Actually, this may be false start. Can the French really cause that much psychological damage?)

2. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

3. Kajagoogoo's - Too Shy


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To: This Just In

Any song by the following:

Sheryl Crow
Barbra Streisand
Liza Minelli
Clay Aiken
Bruce Springsteen
Melissa Etheridge
Marilyn Manson
Wyclef Jean
Gwen Stefani
Black-Eyed Peas
that horrible Rihanna chick
Spice Girls/Backstreet Boys/N Stink
most ska and punk
any death metal or rap (both completely useless forms of music, or noise, I should say)

Pretty good (or awful, in this case) list here:

http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1864


41 posted on 12/10/2008 5:39:01 AM PST by FarRightFanatic (It wasn't an election. It was a socialist coup.)
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To: This Just In
How about Fire by Elmer Fudd.

Or the entire album, "Chipmunk Punk!"

Mark

42 posted on 12/10/2008 5:41:40 AM PST by MarkL
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To: CE2949BB
Or perhaps a picture of Liberace lavished in fur and bling bling.

Now that would scare me.

Say what you will, Liberace was an amazing entertainer, a phenomenal musician, and he loved his audiences, and always gave his all in his performances. Evel Knevel even patterned his "showmanship" after Liberace!

Mark

43 posted on 12/10/2008 5:44:46 AM PST by MarkL
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To: This Just In

44 posted on 12/10/2008 5:45:19 AM PST by Fresh Wind (Hey, Obama! Where's my check?)
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To: This Just In

Bob Dylan

His songs are great.

But his voice sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.


45 posted on 12/10/2008 5:50:37 AM PST by fredhead (A good day is one where you wake up without dirt in your face.)
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To: This Just In

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas. Once inside my skull it rattles around until there’s nothing left.


46 posted on 12/10/2008 6:28:51 AM PST by cjshapi (Proudly posting without a tagline since 2001)
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To: MarkL
You're right. This is horrible. Chipmunk Punk plays My Sharona
47 posted on 12/10/2008 8:25:41 AM PST by egannacht
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To: reagan_fanatic
Anything from Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show including this little shop of horrors: Sylvia's Mother
48 posted on 12/10/2008 8:40:06 AM PST by egannacht
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To: This Just In

How about REM’s anti-Bush (41) “Ignoreland”. The lyrics alone...torture:

How to be what you can be, jump jam junking your energies.
How to walk in dignity with throw-up on your shoes

They amplified the autumn, nineteen seventy-nine.
Calculate the capital, up the republic my skinny ass.

T.v. tells a million lies. the papers terrified to report
Anything that isn’t handed on a presidential spoon,
I’m just profoundly frustrated by all this. so, f-— you, man. (f-— m)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. ignoreland. yeah, yeah, yeah. ignoreland.


49 posted on 12/10/2008 9:37:03 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: egannacht

Though that one’s good in a way because it inspired the nickname Howie Carr gave to Patrick Kennedy

(my parody lyrics)
My father was a drunk old man
I could see him with a Chivas in his hand
He put a blonde in the pond
Didn’t think he did anything wrong
Never spent any time in jail
Got re-elected without fail

Oh life’s not easy for a Kennedy
The pills and the booze and the broads you see
One night Daddy took me to his dying bed
Poured himself a Chivas and with tears he said
He said, Patches I’m dependin’ on you son
To pull the family through, my son it’s all left up to you


50 posted on 12/10/2008 9:39:47 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: Larry R. Johnson

It ruined “Carol of the bells”. Now whenever you hear THAT song all that’s in your head is, “Give-a-give-a-give-a give-a Garmin...Garmin dot com, garmin dot com, garmin dot commmmmmmm....”


51 posted on 12/10/2008 9:41:58 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: This Just In

bruce springsteens butchering of “the little drummer boy”

he should not be allowed near any chritmas song.


52 posted on 12/10/2008 9:44:07 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: This Just In
“C” for criminality.. Mo's orchestra was about the worst Arabic music I've ever heard. That and the bagpipes cleared away a crowd of belligerent strikers at a site I was working at. Even their organizers moved their deluxe trailers two blocks away after being battered by that. My crew liked the pipes, but donned industrial earphones for the Arabic stuff.
As to the Korean TV, my wife and I, while still in our first apartment had idiots living next door who would hold loud parties until dawn, No request to tone it down was honored. My wife thought that Korean TV, combined with 4 extra stereo speakers, when applied to our common wall, w would quickly remedy the situation. It did and there was no recurrence..
53 posted on 12/10/2008 9:51:32 AM PST by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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To: This Just In; stainlessbanner
As I pondered a plethora of possibilities out there, I thought I'd enlist the help of you FReepers for some input in providing your very own personal playlist of songs to torment our enemies by.

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot would be my #1 choice.

I really detest this droning, boring ballad. I mean, I REALLY hate it.

Running a not-so-close second would be "Horse With No Name" by America.

I think my parents must have listened to some particularly annoying AM radio station when I was a kid and those 2 songs were on the charts.

54 posted on 12/10/2008 9:57:23 AM PST by Constitution Day (Big Brotha Is Watching You)
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To: cjshapi; fredhead; reagan_fanatic; VRWCer; All

Kung Fu Fighting? Just the mention of that song reminds me, for some reason, of Rubberband Man. Remember that little ditty?

fredhead, you’re right. Bob is a great writer. My children always give me this look when Bob’s on the radio. One of these looks that says, “Who’s choking the duck?”

reagan_fanatic, how do these people come up with such songs? Do they all congregate at the Mediocre Songwriters Convention and try to figure out ways to dull our minds with this stuff?

How about Da Do Run Run Run by Shawn Cassidy? On second thought, any song by Shawn Cassidy. Make that ANY song by ANY Cassidy (except Eva, of course). A few decades back, I had the great misfortune of attending a, no, chaperoning my younger sibling to a Shawn Cassidy concert. This is what I heard the entire evening (imagine the decibel levels reaching maximum output):

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*faint*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


55 posted on 12/10/2008 10:25:32 AM PST by This Just In (Support Christian Homeschoolers)
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To: This Just In

Here’s one from my teenage years, for some reason it stuck in my head....

David Geddes
Run Joey Run lyrics

(Chorus- woman’s voice)

Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gonna get married
Just you wait and see

Every night, the same old dream
I hate to close my eyes
I can’t erase the memory
The sound of Julie’s cry

She called me up, late that night
She said, “Joe, don’t come over,
But Dad and I just had a fight
And he stormed out the door!

I’ve never seen him act this way,
My God, he’s goin’ crazy
He said he’s gonna make you pay
For what we done— he’s got a GUN!
So run, Joey run, Joey run!”

(Chorus- woman’s voice)

Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gonna get married
Just you wait and see

Got in my car, and I drove like mad
‘Til I reached Julie’s place
She ran to me, with tear-filled eyes
And bruises on her face!

All at once I saw him there,
Sneaking up behind me (Woman’s voice: Watch out!)
Then Julie yelled, “He’s got a gun!”
And she stepped in front of me

Suddenly, a shot rang out
And I saw Julie falling!
I ran to her, I held her close
When I looked down, my hands were red
And here’s the last words Julie said...

(Woman’s voice)

Daddy please don’t
It wasn’t his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy please don’t
We’re gon...na get... mar...ried......

Run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey run, Joey ruuuuuunn!!!


56 posted on 12/10/2008 10:33:16 AM PST by fredhead (A good day is one where you wake up without dirt in your face.)
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To: fredhead

Reminds me of that country tune by Rodney Akins, Cleaning My Gun. Have you heard it? Actually, I hate the song, but the lyrics are funny.

Also reminds me of a true story I heard. Way back when this guy was dating his future wife (she was a lot younger than he), the guy met her father for the first time. The dad was a champion marksman. The dad told this guy, while the two were alone in the study, that it’s funny how a person can’t outrun a bullet.

That’s a true story.


57 posted on 12/10/2008 10:44:09 AM PST by This Just In (Support Christian Homeschoolers)
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To: This Just In

A friend of mine took her daughter and some other teens to a Vanilla Ice concert when he was in his heyday. She begged me to come with but I was a terrible friend and let her suffer on her own.


58 posted on 12/10/2008 10:45:36 AM PST by cjshapi (Proudly posting without a tagline since 2001)
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To: This Just In

“Feelings” by Morris Albert usually has me wanting to park the car in the garage, run the door down and let it idle for awhile.


59 posted on 12/10/2008 10:46:00 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (Pretending the Admin Moderator doesn't exist will result in suspension.)
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To: cjshapi; Cyber Liberty

The only way I’d attend a Vanilla Ice concert would be if I was sportin’ cammo, packin’ some CS gas, and a mask.

Cyber Libery, that song should be the progressives “National” athem.


60 posted on 12/10/2008 10:51:11 AM PST by This Just In (Support Christian Homeschoolers)
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