Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom (says "fell on vegetable while naked")

telegraph.co.uk ^ | 11/13/08 | Staff

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

[Billthedrill]

Mark this down on my list of things I never want to be famous for. That’s why I don’t bake in the nude anymore. Rolling pin.

[null and void]

Done.

[null and void]

I knew a gynecologist who had to operate on a woman's bladder to remove a leek that she had stuck all the way up the urethra. It had been in the bladder for so long, it had calcified and basically turned to stone.

Probably not the first time a Dr. had to take a leek during surgery...

[aruanan]

How does someone get something as big as a leek up something as small gauge as a urethra? The pain from the stretch receptors would be like passing a kidney stone. I just don’t see how it’s physically possible.

[null and void]

Ummmmm. With Kentucky Jelly?

[TruthWillWin]

He’s just fortunate that a watermelon was not on the table.

[Kenny Bunk]

Cannot a humble servant of the Lord hang some goddam curtains without you members of the VRWC jumping all over him? I reiterate the motto of the House of Windsor:
Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense!

Other Announcements from the Pulpit of St. Swithin's:

The church bells shall not be rung this Sunday,
as the Vicar is on vacation and has the clapper.

[Kenny Bunk]

Cannot a humble servant of the Lord hang some goddam curtains without you members of the VRWC jumping all over him? I reiterate the motto of the House of Windsor:
Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense!

Other Announcements from the Pulpit of St. Swithin's:

The church bells shall not be rung this Sunday,
as the Vicar is on vacation and has the clapper.

[CholeraJoe]

Gradually over time the urethra can be stretched and become desensitized. If you did it all at once, it would be very painful as you point out.

Sort of like fisting. It’s an acquired taste.

[Slings and Arrows]

In the best Anglican tradition, we'll have to see the potato before we can pass judgement.

[Brucifer]

I never saw any surgeries like that. Maybe that's because I was a medic in the Army. I don't think GIs get stuff stuck up their “backsides,” except for maybe a sergeant's boot every so often.

I'd ask you how the surgery is done, but there's no point grossing out the rest of the thread.

[Palladin]

“Sorry, Madam. The Vicar is not doing Baptisms today. He has a potato up his bum.”

[Salmonslayer]

Why cant Gerbils drive????

Because they can’t get out of Gere

[Salmonslayer]

Why cant Gerbils drive????

Because they can’t get out of Gere

[Yaelle]

Good rhyme!

[Lizavetta]

Yes, the Russian Doll is that set of dolls that fit within one another. nuf sed?

You mean it was the notorious Russian Nesting Potato?

[Just another Joe]

I just gotta call BS on this one.
If you don't have any curtains up, AND you're a vicar, are you really going to hang curtains in the nude?

[Slings and Arrows]

Is that Alvin Lee in the upper-left-hand corner?

[DirtyHarryY2K]

*delicate operation to remove the veggie*

Gives a new meaning to "diggin' taters" eh?

[Ditter]

LOLOLOL! Reading this makes me feel so.......... normal.

Nothing like this EVER happens around here.