Posted on 10/13/2008 6:40:19 PM PDT by Oyarsa
I was reading a messageboard thread over at Babyfit.com, and was curious as to what my fellow Freepers thought of the practice of using toddler leashes?
Do you swear by them? Abhor them? Want to burn them on sight?
The little Toddler House for the backyard is even better.
Yes, 2 of my 4 kids were bolters. (One autistic and the other, well, um...impuslive). They were used only a handful of times. I used one when going to the family (in-law’s, not mine) beach cabin that is 15 feet above a rocky beach with no railings when the tide is out and well, over water when the tide is in. I used it at the Grand Canyon as a safety back-up, but carried my daughter the whole way. I’d rather not risk a dead or maimed child so I can feel smug about my parenting.
Peeple act like a leash is equivalent to a choke chain, for heaven’t sakes.
Why is it ok to hold a child by the hand but not by a harness? You are holding him or her either way.
In no way are you treating your kid like a dog.
I have five kids and did not have to leash any of them. I’d say they were well trained. However, any one who has a one to two year old so perfectly and majestically trained that he or she will never ever spontaneously jump out or run off. . .
and has such command and concentration that, no matter what the situation, will never for a moment lose sight of one of their kids. . .
what can I say but you get the Perfect Person award.
I had my very compliant 8 year old almost get offed in a Costco parking lot. I was holding her little sister’s hand! My 8 year old was day dreaming and suddenly took a skip and ran almost unsalvageable in front of an oncoming car.
THANK GOD I saw it and wasn’t looking at my key or a puddle or in the direction of a horn and screamed her name JUST IN TIME.
THANK GOD she stopped dead in her tracks and avoided serious injury or death.
The best of kids, even the oldest of kids, will do sudden and whacky things some times. If they are 1 or 2 or 3, even if you are a stellar parent, expect it.
And if you think a leash will help you in crowds or hazardous conditions, by all means use one and do not apologize to the Perfect Parents With Perfect Children crowd.
My mom put me on one in Europe. It was a family joke, but I was not in the least harmed and she was a very good mother.
I always used my leashes for my dogs. I used my hand to hold onto my childrens wrists.
LOL! That’s what I get when I type without my glasses.
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So...How many hands to you have?
How do you hold the wrists of a newborn, 1 year old, and 2 year old? ( Just wondering)
I always dressed my girls in cute overalls when we were out. Those little straps give you something to grab on to when the rascal makes a break for it or an easy handle to cling on to before they can get started. This allowed a little freedom with a measure of security to back me up.
However, safety is more important that what ANYONE else thinks. If you have a little escape artist, use whatever means to keep them safe. You are the parent - spectators opinions do not count for much in the end. ;^)
They were homeschooled so spent nearly all of their day playing. ( They rarely spent more than 2 hours in formal lessons.)
Their play was a fascinating process to watch. Gradually their **intense** and sustained play turned into intense and sustained adult work. I believe that is how nature intends for children to develop.
Totally agree with you! When my children wanted to disobey or wouldn’t listen to their mom, they got a whoopin’. A few times of a sting to the butt works wonders for kids who don’t like to hold hands when told to. To me, leashes for children are for parents who want the easy way out of controlling their children. People think I was paranoid when I tell them how closely my girls were supervised when little. I call it good parenting. You don’t tell a child “no” once, and then ignore them and expect to find that they minded you. If they can’t mind you and hold your hand, if they like to “bolt”, then they get to stay home with dad or with a babysitter! Or they get to sit in a shopping cart or strapped in a stroller. They might figure out sooner than later that they would rather be out and about with mom.
When mine pass through that age zone where they are quick, mobile, impulsive, lack common sense, and don’t understand the rules. we use a leash and don’t think a second thought about it.
For us it has been the best of both worlds - they can get around a bit, but it’s safe and we maintain control.
Well said.
I never gave a whoopin’ but I threaten well :) I worked with mine.
I figure a leash is better than nothing and works sometimes. Never used one, though. Any shopping or outing experience was interesting. There were times I left a store or amusement park, sat in the car with the kid who refused to follow our rules.
4 kids and at one time they were all young. It was difficult but definitely do-able. Toddlers learn.
I’m not against the kid leashes, though. Whatever works. Just never used them.
I’m just happy those days are behind me now.
My mom used a leash for me back in the 60’s. I don’t even remember it, so I guess I wasn’t too traumatized. She said she did it because I was fast and short and would do things like duck under the fabric tables at the fabric store and just take off like lightning, or duck under the racks of clothing at the mall and hide. Obviously I had figured out she was taller and slower!
We have 19 month old twins and I want to get some leashes for them, but haven’t found a type I like yet. So far whenever we go somewhere I keep them in their stroller, and they get awfully tired of that in about 15 minutes. It would be nice to let them stretch their legs and get some exercise! It would be better, of course, to have an adult dealing with *each* child and not have to use a leash or stroller, but my husband has to go to work every day. What a drag. :)
It doesn’t take very many spankings for a child to learn that mom (or dad) means business when they speak. Two or three good swats gets their attention. A stern voice gets their attention. I had twins. I know it’s not easy. It’s just more “work” to make sure you are listened to and more “work” to follow up. It means more creativity. Some parents don’t like the idea that children take more work than they envisioned expending. More work even when you’re tired. When you have more than one small child at a time you really have to be stern and make sure they know you mean business at times - even if you have to go home, instead of finishing your shopping. My advice is, if you’re tired with one, if you can’t control one, don’t have another one! lol
I just want to thank you for your voice of sanity in this knee-jerk judgmental thread. Apparently, no one here has ever had a stubborn active 2-year-old who bolts even after receiving consistent discipline (including spanking).
It's like people don't realize kids have minds of their own. Or they forgot about when they went for the cookie jar even after getting slapped for getting a cookie every time before.
“My advice is, if you’re tired with one, if you can’t control one, don’t have another one! lol”
I agree.
My husband and I always said, the first one was easy, lol even though it wasn’t all that easy. Then the second a year or so later, made it more difficult. We laugh about the 3rd, because, the first two had us now the 3rd was extra, extra hands, etc., whereas the first two had one of us solely focused. Then the 4th and that was tough, lol, lugging all 4 with only 2 adults. Or when one of us took all 4 out alone. However, it’s do-able with supervision.
The focus has to be on the kids all the time. And, we went home a few times.
I understand the leashes though. When I first saw them, I was appalled. My first thought was who the hell puts their kid on a lease? Then I saw that some need them and benefit from them.
My 2nd kid was a handful. Fortunately, the threatening worked. Then the 4th, oh boy. No problems shopping but tons of problems in the house. She learned early on how to work the locks on the doors and even the security system. I was in the backyard talking to my next door neighbor. My 3 kids were in her yard. Youngest was taking a nap (or so I thought). My Mom (before she died) was in the house. The kid got out of the house. A neighbor from across the street saw her and told me (hey your kid is on your front lawn). Anyway, we installed a window bar on her bedroom window, too. This kid could get through everything.
Just made us more diligent.
I’m ok with spankings. Never did it but ok with them. Tone of voice, facial expressions, grounding works for us.
“Some parents don’t like the idea that children take more work than they envisioned expending. More work even when you’re tired. When you have more than one small child at a time you really have to be stern and make sure they know you mean business at times - even if you have to go home, instead of finishing your shopping”
Exactly. And sometimes, parents just have to focus on the kids at all times. Far too many don’t.
Sometimes, even the best parents have kids who screw up. We have to let them go at some point. Certainly not when they’re toddlers or young adults/teens. But eventually they’re going to make their own decisions.
As for the leash thing, I still think whatever works for some parents. Never used one, thought the leash was odd, but it works for some.
I tried it on my daughter when walking around the neighborhood. I felt very embarrassed when there were other kids pointing at her, saying, “perro” which I gather is the Mexican word for dog.
I still used it in the department stores, because she would duck under the racks and hide, giving me a heart attack each time.
I don't think people should freak out if at places like Disney someone's got one of those little stuffed animal backpacks with a little line to Mama's hand on it. They just don't want to lose their tots who might hate strollers.
GREAT IDEA that I use now: There are those little slightly plasticized paper wristbands you can buy. I take a Sharpie and write Mom's Cell # (with the number) on it, and attach it around his little wrist. He knows if he can't find me to go to a nice Mommy or a worker and ask them to call that number.
Spanking worked with my older son, but it was a waste of time and effort with the younger son.
When you have a strong willed child spanking sometimes just intensifies the rebellion. And you run the risk of losing control yourself and not knowing when to stop.
LOL! We did and still do the same thing.
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