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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 06/20/2008 5:20:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It's
Being from Arizona, I have to pass these along (they can apply to other "hot" states as well)...It's so hot in Arizona that...
- the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- the cows are giving evaporated milk.
- the trees are whistling for the dogs.
- you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
- you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
- you can make instant sun tea.
- you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
- you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
- you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- hot water now comes out of both taps.
- it's noon in June, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
Thankfully, today is Ice Cream Soda Day!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hot; ofst; silliness; summer
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To: Baynative
??????????????
..
81
posted on
06/20/2008 7:53:55 AM PDT
by
maine-iac7
(No trees were killed in sending this message but a large number of electrons were terrible agitated)
To: The_Victor
I can't figure out how anyone settled areas like Florida and Texas prior to the invention of AC and pesticides. Imagine the heat and humidity combined with heavy Victorian clothing that buttoned to the chin, endless swarms of mosquitoes, and infrequent bathing. You forgot to mention fighting off hostile Indians. Free / cheap land can overcome even the biggest mosquito. ;-)
To: The_Victor
If they are massive, that’s probably why they are still virgins ;-)
83
posted on
06/20/2008 7:56:27 AM PDT
by
spotbust1
(Procrastinators of the world unite . . . . .tomorrow!!!)
To: Girlene
84
posted on
06/20/2008 7:58:07 AM PDT
by
RedRover
(DefendOurMarines.org | DefendOurTroops.org)
To: Lucky9teen
In Texas, it's Blue Bell or nothing!
To: InvisibleChurch
86
posted on
06/20/2008 8:02:35 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
Comment #87 Removed by Moderator
To: Chanticleer; nuke rocketeer
WooHoo! I love cat pics! :p
88
posted on
06/20/2008 8:05:26 AM PDT
by
Hoodlum91
(I support global warming.)
To: DaveLoneRanger
Summer is here Can't you tell? The sun is out And it's hotter than...usual.Or.....
Spring has sprung
Fall has fell
Summer's here
And it's hot as...usual
89
posted on
06/20/2008 8:06:42 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: TexasCajun
In Texas, it's Blue Bell or nothing! Do you guys get Ben & Jerry's down there? They're both worthless leftist filthbags but they make darn good ice cream.
90
posted on
06/20/2008 8:08:55 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
(Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We're only seeing singing Hitlers.)
To: nuke rocketeer
I feel like corn nuts
91
posted on
06/20/2008 8:09:25 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
To: Lucky9teen
You don’t look like corn nuts.
92
posted on
06/20/2008 8:10:34 AM PDT
by
Hoodlum91
(I support global warming.)
To: The_Victor
To: The_Victor
94
posted on
06/20/2008 8:12:28 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
To: Chanticleer; new cruelty
Do we know who this belongs to?
95
posted on
06/20/2008 8:13:50 AM PDT
by
RockinRight
(I just paid $63 for gas. An icefield in Alaska is NOT the Grand Canyon. F--- the caribou.)
To: spotbust1
Dr. Demento rocked. I loved that show. You can still
listen to past shows and see the
past playlists
96
posted on
06/20/2008 8:16:22 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
To: Gay State Conservative
I refuse to buy B&J,one because they are lefties and it doesn't beat our bluebell.
Do they make just a simple ice cream.
The ones I've tried had more of the other ingredients than it did the ice cream.
To: spotbust1; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
How about Poisoning Pigeons in the Park? Always a classic!
98
posted on
06/20/2008 8:18:46 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Lucky9teen
You probably need more padding on your bicycle seat.
99
posted on
06/20/2008 8:20:23 AM PDT
by
Chanticleer
(I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
To: Gay State Conservative
hese affiliates proudly broadcast “The Dr. Demento Show” each week to a devoted audience. If your radio station is interested in attracting new, dedicated listeners, click here to get more information about airing our show.
KLOO
Albany OR
(note - can be heard from Eugene north to at least some parts of Portland)
KOZT
Fort Bragg CA
KACV
Amarillo TX
WLUP
Chicago IL
WLVQ-FM
Columbus OH
WRKH-FM
Mobile AL
WTKW
Syracuse NY
100
posted on
06/20/2008 8:22:12 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Biting into a McCain burger will be like tasting 2 day old crap, but Obama is pure cyanide koolaid.)
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