****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

http://www.chocolate.com ^ | March 23, 2007

[Lucky9teen]

 

Here's something silly. Let's celebrate chocolate? 

Enjoy American Chocolate Week

March 18 thru March 23!

 

Most people cannot resist the temptation of eating chocolates. Occasion or no occasion, chocolates are an all-the-year-round cause for celebration. Chocolates have been subject to a lot of debates on health related issues. However, here are some cool facts:

1. Chocolate products contain ingredients that can prevent and retard tooth decay.

2. The amount of fat in a chocolate bar is not very high and in fact, in moderate quantity, can be used in a low-fat diet program.

3. Chocolates do not contribute to cholesterol formation. The fact is that a 1.65 oz bar of chocolate contains only 12 mg. 

4. A 1.5 oz chocolate milk bar will give you 41 mg of sodium, while dark chocolate contains only 5 mg. 

5. Researches have found no relationship between eating chocolate and acne formation.  

6. Chocolates contain stearic and oleic acid, which help lower blood cholesterol levels,  reduces the risk of blood clots and benefits the heart.  It increases the HDL (good cholesterol) and reduces LDL (bad cholesterol).

7. Chocolate also contains flavonoids, which are known to have antioxidant properties.

8. Chocolate contains substances called Phenylethylamine and Seratonin, both of which (put simply), are mood lifting agents found naturally in the human brain.

      

Not all chocolate or cocoa is the same, especially when preparing recipes. Ever wonder what the difference is between one kind of chocolate and another?

Chocolate Liquor This is the pure, straight-from-the-bean chocolate. The center of the cocoa bean is ground into a liquid, called the liquor (there is NO alcohol in this!).	Cocoa Butter It's not really a butter, but the fat extracted from the chocolate liquor.
Cocoa Powder Cocoa powder is the solid left after the cocoa butter is pressed out of the liquor. Cocoa powder often undergoes a Dutch Process, that reduces its natural acidity. Dutch cocoa is milder tasting and blends better with milk.	Unsweetened Chocolate This is the solid form of chocolate liquor. Unsweetened chocolate is often used in baking.
Bittersweet Chocolate Chocolate with a minimum of 50% chocolate liquor.	Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chocolate with a minimum of 35% chocolate liquor.
Dark Chocolate Also known as 'sweet chocolate'. It only contains 15% liquor, as well as sweeteners and cocoa butter.	Milk Chocolate Milk chocolate has at least 10% liquor and 12% milk solids. Sugar, cocoa butter and vanilla are also mixed in.
White Chocolate This kind lacks the brown color because there are no cocoa solids. White chocolate is made up of only cocoa butter, sugar and milk solids.

 

         

 

"Exercise is a dirty word... Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate."

[nuke rocketeer]

A guy with money to burn may well find a gal who wants to play with fire.

[nuke rocketeer]

He folded and straightened the money because he wanted a tidy sum.

[A knight without armor]

Thank you for this chart. I wonder what Chocolate Liquor is used for since there is no alcohol in it. Semisweet chocolate is my very favorite. I really like Special Dark candy bars. Coca Butter is the best treatment for cracked feet that I've ever used. I buy it in a stick.

[Millee]

I would have been the first kid to go too!

[Lucky9teen]

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

Here is one for your collection.

***

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.
The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.

Thomas Jefferson, Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)

[The_Victor]

[CSM]

Burn! Great use of a pun!

[CSM]

Mmmmmm, now I'm hungry!

Ya, all have a great weekend. It is Miller time for me!

[N. Theknow]

A visit to Grandpa in the Republican Old Folks Home.

How's it going Grandpa? Sorry we couldn't get you into the Democrat Old Folks Home but they were full up with illegal immigrants.

That's OK son. It's fine here. This is a wonderful place.

Glad to hear it Grandpa. What makes it wonderful?

Well, your accomplishments in life are recognized here all the time. There is a guy who was a doctor but he hasn't practiced medicine in over 30 years and everybody still calls him Doc. And there is a retired military man who hasn't been in uniform in over 40 years and everyone still calls him Colonel.

That's nice Grandpa.

And the greatest thing of all, I haven't had sex in over 25 years but everybody refers to me as the F*****g Democrat.

[Lucky9teen]

Yummy....

[raccoonradio]

went on a trip out that way a couple years back and took tour.
I bet the tour guides are tired of the all the "take the
Hershey Highway" jokes ("what do you do, are you a fudge packer?")

[Chasaway]

[honolulugal]

[Lady Jag]

Beer and chocolate?!

[Kate of Spice Island]

Yuppers!

Luke days it is!

[MeekMom]

Thank you for a very fun and cool thread, Lucky! :)

[Jo Nuvark]

Potty Talk
A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are yo u gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this s tall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's
purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?" More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy? But as my little herald gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

[Jo Nuvark]

Somewhere in "Potty Talk" there is a
relationship to chocolate. Sure there is.

[JDoutrider]

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