Posted on 03/09/2007 4:57:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen
This weekend Daylight Saving Time begins, at 2am on Sunday, March 11th. Ah, time...great, we lose an hour this weekend, and that means one less hour to play, drink, sleep, and just be. Let's kill some time here then....
What do you do with your time? Do you Spring Forward this weekend?
2007 Daylight-saving change could confuse gadgets
Daylight saving time (DST), also known as summer time in British English, is the convention of advancing clocks so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically clocks are adjusted forward one hour in late winter or early spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Details vary by location and change occasionally.
Governments often promote DST as an energy conservation measure because it substitutes summer afternoon sunlight for electrical lighting. However, in some cases DST can increase energy costs.
Daylight Saving Time - for the U.S. and its territories - is NOT observed in Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and by most of Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona).
"An extra yawn one morning in the springtime, an extra snooze one night in the autumn is all that we ask in return for dazzling gifts. We borrow an hour one night in April; we pay it back with golden interest five months later."
-Winston Churchill
Now that's a horse of a different color.
That was a tactical nuclear pun.
A mean a pun of mass destruction.
ME
Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a great idea! I know how we can win back middle America and secure my presidential victory in 2008."
"Great, but how so you propose we go about that", asked Bill? "Are we gonna have someone knock off Obamba like we did Vince Foster?"
"No silly", Hillary responds, "we'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear, and then we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador. When we look the part, we'll go to a nice old country bar somewhere in middle America and show them that we really enjoy the countryside, and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there."
A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.
With the dog in tow, they walk into a bar. When they stepped up to the bar, the bartender takes a step back and says, "Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"
"Yes we are", says Hillary, "and what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color."
They then order a couple of cocktails and proceed to drink them down, all the while, chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
All of a sudden... the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walks up to the Labrador, lifts its tail, and looks underneath, shrugs his shoulders and walks out the door.
A few moments later, in comes another old farmer... walks up to the dog, lifts its tail, looks underneath, scratches his head and then leaves the bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over.
"Tell me", says Hillary, "why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of cute old custom?"
"Good Lord no", said the bartender. "Its just that someone had told them there was a Labrador in this bar with two Assholes!"
A mean a pun of mass destruction.
Oh! So WOW was an exclamation of extreme enjoyment.
In that case I shall post another!
I was over at the parents the other day. We had just finished eating and I volunteered to do the dishes. (I figure if I do this about twice a year they'll know better than to ask me . I'm very slow at it.)
After getting the dishes pre-rinsed (who want's all that icky stuff in the water) and doing a few loads of dishes I was ready to do the pans (mom had made a wonderful roast with carrots and potatoes. Yum Yum . But the pan was dark with burned on grease and stuff)
Mom came over and put the pan into the water (Without rinsing it first!!! ) and the water turned very dark.
"ICK" I said. "I'm not putting my hands into that"
Mom told me to chill out, reached across the sink and put more dish soap into the water and it cleared right up!!
"John" she said "You know it's always darkest before the Dawn"
Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.