****OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS (SPRING FORWARD) THREAD****

This weekend Daylight Saving Time begins, at 2am on Sunday, March 11th. Ah, time...great, we lose an hour this weekend, and that means one less hour to play, drink, sleep, and just be. Let's kill some time here then....

Daylight saving time (DST), also known as summer time in British English, is the convention of advancing clocks so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically clocks are adjusted forward one hour in late winter or early spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Details vary by location and change occasionally.

Governments often promote DST as an energy conservation measure because it substitutes summer afternoon sunlight for electrical lighting. However, in some cases DST can increase energy costs.

Daylight Saving Time - for the U.S. and its territories - is NOT observed in Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and by most of Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona).

"An extra yawn one morning in the springtime, an extra snooze one night in the autumn is all that we ask in return for dazzling gifts. We borrow an hour one night in April; we pay it back with golden interest five months later."

"Hillary Clinton's campaign has issued a statement saying she and Bill will be together this weekend in Selma, Alabama, which will be their first joint appearance together in a month. That's when you know you have a bad marriage -- when you have to put out a press release saying you'll be together for the weekend. You need cameras to record it, in case people don't believe you" --Jay Leno

"According to this week's Newsweek magazine, Hillary's campaign refuses to consider Bill Clinton's infidelity. ... They called it 'the elephant in the room that no one wants to address.' Which is what got Clinton in trouble in the first place ... the elephant in the room." --Jay Leno

"You all excited about the 2008 presidential election? There's some interesting potential matchups. For example, Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani. ... On the one hand, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history marital problems. Or, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history marital problems." --David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton's campaign wants Barack Obama to publicly renounce Hollywood producer David Geffen's statement attacking the Clintons. ... Geffen said, 'I know everyone in politics has to lie, but the Clintons do it with such ease, it's troubling.' I think that's an unfair statement. Just because you're really good at something doesn't mean it's easy." --Jay Leno

"It looks like Hollywood is starting to turn on Hillary Clinton. Hollywood mogul David Geffen -- he's given huge amounts to the Clintons -- told columnist Maureen Dowd of the New York Times that Hillary Clinton is too scripted, that Bill Clinton is reckless, and both of the Clintons lie so easily it's troubling. Bad scripts, reckless behavior, and lying -- thank God that kind of thing can never happen here in Hollywood." --Jay Leno

"The latest political rumor is that if Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, she will be replaced in the Senate by her husband, Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, 'I dream of replacing Hillary every day.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Political experts are now saying that to win the presidency in 2008 a candidate has to get hot at the right time. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Hillary's doomed'" --Conan O'Brien

"Justice Department officials have determined that a president of the United States does have the legal authority to have someone killed ... in the United States. And today, Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary." --Jay Leno

"This week at a fashion show in Rome, a line of dresses were introduced that feature huge pictures of Hillary Clinton's face. When he heard this, Bill Clinton said, 'Finally, Hillary's face on another woman's body.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Is anybody really that surprised that Hillary Clinton is running for president? I'm not surprised. I mean, if you were married to Bill Clinton ... wouldn't you want to be able to tap his phone, read his mail, and torture him?" --Jay Leno

"Of course, the big question political experts are asking now is what role will Bill Clinton play in Hillary's campaign. I'm guessing 'the cheating husband.'" --Jay Leno

"Politics is a dirty business. Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president, and the Republicans are already busy digging up dirt. They found out that once in her lifetime she slept with Bill Clinton." --David Letterman

"Yesterday, on a campaign trip, Hillary Clinton suggested that she knows how to deal with evil and bad men, like Osama bin Laden, because she had to put up with her husband. Which explains why Hillary wants to look for bin Laden at the nearest Hooters." --Conan O'Brien

"In Iowa yesterday, Hillary Clinton was shoring up support a mere year before that state's presidential caucus. She whipped the crowd into a frenzy with her new campaign slogan, 'Let The Conversation Begin.' This may not be the most politically correct thing to say, but I don't think that slogan's going to help you with men. ... I think the typical response would be, 'Now?' You might as well get on your campaign bus, The 'I Think We Really Need To Talk' Express, to unveil your new Iraq policy, 'America, Let's Pull Over And Just Ask For Directions.'" --Jon Stewart

"Hillary Clinton announced officially she will be running for president. Besides announcing her candidacy on the Internet, she's also selling all her old headbands on Craigslist." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Hillary Clinton announced she is running for president of the United States, which isn't a surprise to many people -- except maybe those who just voted her for a second term as senator." --Jay Leno

"It's official. Hillary Clinton is running for president of the United States. She said on her Web site, 'I'm in it to win.' That may seem obvious, but for Democrats running for president ... they have to keep reminding themselves." --Jay Leno

"Hillary says she has gotten hundreds of calls telling her to go out on the road and campaign for the next two years. And that's just from her husband, Bill." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton, senator from New York, announced she wants to be president. She would be our first female president ... if you don't count James Buchanan." --David Letterman

"Senator Hillary Clinton is back from her fact-finding trip to Iraq. She had to cut the trip short because she had to address a growing threat here at home -- Barack Obama." --Jay Leno

"Senator Hillary Clinton was asked about President Bush and she said, 'I'm not going to believe this president again.' Yeah, Hillary said, to be fair, I stopped believing presidents ten years ago. Apparently she had a bad experience." --Conan O'Brien

"Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama visited New Hampshire and thousands of people showed up to hear him speak. The New Hampshire crowds were excited, because apparently, this is the first time they've ever seen an African-American." --Conan O'Brien

"The Reverend Jesse Jackson told CNN that he's planning to endorse Barack Obama for president. Experts say this is a risky move for Jackson, because hardly anything rhymes with 'Barack Obama.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Presidential candidate Barack Obama was endorsed by former Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota. Daschle is the first major Democrat to endorse Obama, and the first person in South Dakota to see a black man." --Conan O'Brien

"Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama have been sniping at each other back and forth. It's getting ugly. The good news for Obama is, all this bickering with Hillary is making him look presidential." --Conan O'Brien

"Senator Barack Obama was in Los Angeles last night for a huge campaign fundraiser. That shows you what a great country this is -- when an African-American with a Kansas mother and a Kenyan father, who spent time growing up in Indonesia and is running for president, spending time in a state where Spanish-speaking people have elected an Austrian governor." --Jay Leno

"Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama announced he's running for president. ... Obama gave a speech in front of thousands of people in Iowa. During the speech, Obama pointed out his family in the crowd, which was unnecessary since he was in Iowa." --Conan O'Brien

"Presidential candidate Barack Obama says he's going to quit smoking. Which is good news for Hillary Clinton. Now that he's breathing down her neck, she won't have to worry about second-hand smoke." --Jay Leno

"Now that his potential presidential campaign is gaining strength, people are getting more and more interested in the origin of the fascinating name, Barack Obama. Turns out Barack Obama translates to 'Hillary's worst nightmare'" --Jay Leno

"Momentum continues for Barack Obama's campaign. Actually, do you know what Barack Obama's middle name is? Hussein. Could've been worse. Could've been Kerry." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser." --Jay Leno

"Senator Obama answered doubts about his inexperience by saying he has gained tremendous insight from his work as a community organizer, civil rights attorney, constitutional law professor, key club president, 4H treasurer, lunch room monitor, two years of jazz, and four years of tap." --Amy Poehler

"Senator Barack Obama has jumped into the presidential race. ... That's the big rumor. Barack will officially announce on the 'Oprah' show. I think Hillary will announce on 'Trading Spouses,' and of course, John Kerry will announce on 'The Biggest Loser.'" --Jay Leno

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