Posted on 02/15/2007 6:34:03 AM PST by woodbutcher1963
When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.
Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.
Psychologists have long known about "reactance," the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss.
• Click here to visit FOXNews.com's Human Body Center.
The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.
Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun.
Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally. The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously.
(Story continues below)
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Once. She tried her damnest to turn me into a lap puppy and I told her to stop. I will put up with that BS for about two seconds.
"both".
That's the key.
Plenty have left men who didn't.
Presumably, it wouldn't be funny - and would be called out - if the roles were reversed. The power differential is still perceived to be such that a man acting that way toward a woman would be seen as bullying, not funny.
"Feminazi cat woman"? Where the hell did that come from? And how does one "butt in" on a public forum, where anyone can post at any time?
No, I mean like someone who asks a spouse to drop in-progress chores and bring a purse that's just out of arm's reach.
I don't think they left on their own. I think they were shown the door.
Good riddance...
Exactly. And there are plenty here who don't understand that, and never will - or never did, and that's why they're divorced now.
Worse: if he had responded with escalation.
As I said earlier: the response studied in the lead article is too often actually the only viable option, considering that the alternatives are immoral, illegal, and/or very expensive.
Our society crushes men who respond any way other than submission or silence.
I think the plenty here DO understand. It's the ones who aren't here who need the message - and would be stunned to read it.
The appropriate response to that is to fall on the floor laughing.
If she gets pissed and threatens to leave, offer to help her find a new boy-toy who will do her bidding.
Why the hell do so many men think that putting up with this kind of passive-aggressive behavior is a normal part of marriage? It's no wonder Democrats are taking over the country.
Cute! I can almost ID with your case....except, in a strange way.
I have ALWAYS been noted for having dreams alot and remembering them (and yes, they're in color, 99% of the time), generally weird in a zany way. Well, since I'm older - maybe since 32 or so - I don't remember as well; now, I have to make an effort to remember such as...telling my husband! I used to tell my mother and father all the time.
But my husband was the 1 who has done all the genealogical stuff. Actually, I love it too, but I haven't gone through what he's gone through. I'm a neophyte, and he knew alot about his genealogy by the time we met.
And funny, though, my husband is closer to "country boy" while I'm closer to "city girl" - but not in strictest senses!
Exactly. And what kind of man would stand there and take it?
I have seen women do that to men in public or in front of friends. Its not the woman's fault. She is just making sure she maintains dominance. I see it as the man's fault for not checking that B to start with.
Whatever happened to married people being as polite to each other as they are to their friends and acquaintances? It's quite possible; I've seen it done.
I was out in the shop painting or welding or something one time.
My fiance, in a rare act of defiance, mentioned that I spend to much time out there.
I immediately went to the local bar and called her at about 1am.
"Is this better?" I asked
I realize that is the popular wisdom on FR, but it's a fraud. Society is so unused to men who respond in any way other than submission and silence that they try to shout such men down for disrupting the social matrix...at first. When he sticks to his guns, however, "society" folds like a cheap suit. People literally have no idea how to handle a man whose frame is "This is my reality - deal with it." They give in very quickly.
But a man who surrenders to the demands of the social matix can expect to attract all kinds of negativity into his life - there are plenty of little vultures waiting to prey upon the weak.
Bump to HitmanLV, who might have missed this little debate. ;)
The problem is that to a lot of people marriage implies ownership, which implies the power to control the other's behavior. But if people realize that they can't, in fact, control their spouse's behavior any more than they can control their friends' and acquaintances' behavior, then their marriage will be much, much smoother.
I'm sure everybody thinks you are mean.
Good job. ;)
That is the point. Too many here, too, seem *obsessed* with never even *seeming* to "submit" to a woman.
If we'd all just be better behaved, and be polite - even when things aren't perfectly phrased or handled - there would be alot more harmony. And it goes both ways. We're not all perfect but we can try, and that includes also giving the benefit of a doubt.
It's never occurred to me to try that with my husband. If he had behaviors to which I really objected, I wouldn't have married him. I guess there's an advantage to being an elderly bride! :)
SO what, pray tell, is a better way to handle it than to fall to the floor laughing?
I do not want her to be afraid to ask me something. I just want to have the same respect that she demands of me.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.