The Official Friday Silliness Thread's End of the Year Clearance Sale

theoi.com (Because you really really really want to check my source citation) ^ | 12-29-06 (29 Decembre 2006) | Sully777

[sully777]

HAPPY FRIDAY
and
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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New Years Myth: KRONOS (or Cronus) was the Titan god of time and the ages, especially time where regarded as destructive and all-devouring.

He ruled the cosmos during the so-called Golden Age, after castrating and deposing his own father Ouranos (the Sky) from the throne. In fear of a prophecy that he would be in turn be overthrown by his own son, Kronos swallowed each of his children as soon as they were born. Rhea managed to save the youngest, Zeus, by hiding him away on the island of Krete, and fed Kronos a stone wrapped in the swaddling clothes of an infant. The god grew up, forced Kronos to disgorge his swallowed offspring, and led the Olympians in a ten year war against the Titanes, before driving them defeated into the pit of Tartaros.

Many human generations later, Zeus released Kronos and his brothers from this prison, and made the old Titan king of the Elysian Islands, home of the blessed dead."

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New Years Ritual: In Ecuador, people celebrate Ano Viejo by making scarecrows from old clothe and newspapers. They fill the dummies with firecrackers and paper listing regrets, faults, problems, etc. from the past year. They light the scarecrow and watch it explode and burn, symbolizing an extinguishing of their past failures in the previous year.

[Theresawithanh]

LOL! Naw, I'll bet his messed-up hand will cause him to turn that gig down.

[JJR RNCH]

For those long road trips.

[amxfan2002]

Hey!!! Just got the pic of your mother in law just after wrecking Jack Sr's car....

[JJR RNCH]

Is she brushing her hair??

[r-q-tek86]

So how was the Christmas??? Mine was just ok......

Sounds like you and I were both bad this year...

2:30 Christmas day... grandfather starts having chest pains...

4:30 Decides that the pain is not just indigestion and goes to the hospital...

10:30 Doctors determine that it was, in fact, a heart attack...

9:00 am Dec 26... My father, who was at the hospital til 1:00 am, decides that it's finally time to let ME know that my grandfather has had a heart attack...

9:01 Rush to the hospital...

1:30 pm Dec 28... Grandfather released after the doctors determine that it was a blood clot that caused the attack and that there isn't much they can do other than change his medication... No sense in operating on a 90 year old...

[amxfan2002]

Holiday Stress Diet

The following diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the holidays.

Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Evening News:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)

RULES FOR THIS DIET:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

Examples:

Milk Duds, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls and Red Vines.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.

Examples:

Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.

10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We All know how calories like to cling!!)


REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED
BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS

[amxfan2002]

Yes, she is......Talk about a "Bad hair day"

[amxfan2002]

We can only hope that the upcoming year is better, my FRiend.....Sounds like you really need a silliness injection....

[JJR RNCH]

I'm going to need one of these this weekend. I'm taking down the monster tree. Took me hours to get the decorations off of it last night.

[amxfan2002]

Sounds more like a suitable case for the application of "High Explosives"

[Millee]

{{sigh}} None of my pictures ever come out.

[amxfan2002]

[amxfan2002]

New Airline Security Procedures

[r-q-tek86]

Sounds like you really need a silliness injection....

Or something like that...

BTW... my grandfather seems to be none the worse for wear. They caught it early enough to minimize the damage.

[amxfan2002]

[hawkeye101]

I don't know if anyone has posted about this guy, but if you go to YouTube, and search for "Mr Pregnant", you will get several videos of this guy. Words cannot describe Mr. Pregnant.

[amxfan2002]

Newest Computer Accessory

[JJR RNCH]

Buy me one!!!

[amxfan2002]

My new keyboard....

[JJR RNCH]

My keyboard fits with my job.