[Detroit] Lions news is bad news

realfootball365.com ^ | December 12, 2006 | Os Davis

[SunkenCiv]

...With a record of 2-11, the silver-and-Honolulu blue are firmly entrenched at No. 32 on any power poll in this spiral arm of the galaxy. Entrenched, that is, until another loss drops them behind Ohio State, Florida and the Hamburg Sea Devils. Think it can't get worse? Hey, this is the Lions. NFL schedule makers saw fit to arrange the endgame Kitty Cats' so, so long season likewise: at the Green Bay Packers where the Lions haven't won since a guy named Brett Favre took over there (that's right, 1992); against the Chicago Bears in a game which figures to see Motor City backers immortalize the chant "Fire *&#!!%&ing Millen!"; and at the Dallas Cowboys , who on New Year's Eve will probably looking to bag the No. 2 seed in the NFC... Kevin Jones, who was knocked out of the loss to the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday, figures to be out for the remainder of the season... Pro Bowl nominee Shaun Rogers... was slapped by the commissioner after testing positive for steroids. The judgment had Rogers forcibly sitting out four games and giving up $250,000. Naturally, "Big Baby" was innocent, protesting that the positive test represented a product that the 354-pound Rogers used to help him control his weight. Or he has asthma. Or he thought they were Shawne Merriman's Pez. Or something... Team officials announced yesterday that WR Mike Williams - you remember him: the former first-round draft pick cum The Most Useless Player in the NFL Today - flunked a weigh-in. At 240 pounds, Williams only missed the target set by Rod Marinelli and Co. by 20. Though no punitive measures have been mentioned, any punishment would seem pointless other then some quality time on the bench... Fire &#!!%&ing Millen.

[SunkenCiv]

Apologies, when I made that remark about “Matt”, I wasn’t referring to the awesome Matt Stafford, I was referring to the Matt Millen era, and the current coach Matt Patricia.

I think the best option for the Lions is to line up one-game, weekly guest head coaches for next season. Stupid idea? Look at the results they’ve had doing the regular way, and STHU.

Thanksgiving Day (what irony) home vs Chicago, possible win (the only one left on the schedule); Dec 8 @Minnesota, there’s another loss (they couldn’t beat the Vikings at home either, 12 point loss); Dec 15 at home vs 4-7 Tampa Bay, going to be an ugly loss I think; Dec 22 @Denver, Merry Christmas, the Lions have an edge right now (Denver is at 3-8); last game of the season is home vs Green Bay, but the Lions’ season will have been over for five weeks by thenl.

[SunkenCiv]

• The Matt Patricia era is another disastrous chapter for the Detroit Lions

[SunkenCiv]

OK, so, wth... offsetting penalties on the kickoff, rekick at 14:54, long return run, a couple of plays, Bears manage a 1st down, then boom, TD. Lions, using their 3rd string QB, first NFL pass is a touchdown. Chicago goes 3 and out. Ads. BTW, the Lions QB... if this kid goes down, their tight end is their 4th string backup, and he's actually thrown NFL passes already. My guess is, the fix is in, the Lions are going to cover, at least, and a lot of people are going to clean up. Matt Patricia will be given a contract extension, and probably identical twin hookers.

[Hot Tabasco]

Wow, I never realized this thread has been ongoing for 13 years now. And today’s Lions are just as stinky as they were when the thread started......

[Hot Tabasco]

As a side note, I just saw some Lions dancing in the end zone following a touchdown. I can understand the celebration, they don’t see that part of the field very often........

[SunkenCiv]

Still 14-7 Lions. Bears are finally threatening a little, just got a 10 yd penalty.

[SunkenCiv]

Halftime, Brothers Osborne just blew the fuses about four seconds into their first number. Ah, restored.

[SunkenCiv]

Cincinnati is no longer winless? Wow. Beat the Jets? Uh, not so much wow. :^) The Bengals were the first of the big cats to be eliminated from the playoffs; the Lions have arrived in that category, as have the Falcons. The Lions are busy digging themselves a hole in one corner of the litterbox, having looked good for the first five minutes or so vs Chicago. If the season ended today, Detroit would still be only 11th on the draft pick order.

NFL Playoff Picture: NFC & AFC Standings, Wild Card Race & Matchups For Week 13 Of 2019 NFL Season

[SunkenCiv]

Yeah, it's hard to belive it's been going on that long -- but hey, it's only a fraction of the number of years of their championship drought.

AFC
Seed	Team	Division	Record
1	New England	East	10-1-0
2	Baltimore	North	10-2-0
3	Houston	South	7-4-0
4	Kansas City	West	7-4-0
5	Buffalo	East	9-3-0
6	Pittsburgh	North	7-5-0
Still Alive
Seed	Team	Division	Record
7	Tennessee	South	7-5-0
8	Oakland	West	6-5-0
9	Indianapolis	South	6-6-0
10	Cleveland	North	5-7-0
11	Los Angeles	West	4-7-0
12	Jacksonville	South	4-8-0
13	N.Y. Jets	East	4-8-0
14	Denver	West	3-8-0
Eliminated
Seed	Team	Division	Record
15	Miami	East	3-9-0
16	Cincinnati	North	1-11-0

NFC
Seed	Team	Division	Record
1	San Francisco	West	10-2-0
2	(y) New Orleans	South	10-2-0
3	Green Bay	North	9-3-0
4	Dallas	East	6-6-0
5	Seattle	West	9-2-0
6	Minnesota	North	8-3-0
Still Alive
Seed	Team	Division	Record
7	Los Angeles	West	6-5-0
8	Chicago	North	6-6-0
9	Tampa Bay	South	5-7-0
10	Philadelphia	East	5-7-0
11	Carolina	South	5-7-0
12	Arizona	West	3-7-1
15	Washington	East	3-9-0
Eliminated
Seed	Team	Division	Record
13	Detroit	North	3-8-1
14	Atlanta	South	3-9-0
16	N.Y. Giants	East	2-10-0

[SunkenCiv]

Bengals Beat J-E-T-S For First Win of Season
Google | December 1, 2019 | Staff
Posted on 12/01/2019 1:21:08 PM PST by C19fan
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/3797673/posts

[dfwgator]

Redskins could win the East if they run the table.

[SunkenCiv]

*Could* is the operative word. Within their division they are 0-3-0, and they have to play Green Bay (go Redskins!), the Eagles (divisional), the Giants (divisional), and Dallas (divisional).

[dfwgator]

So basically the Cowboys would have to lose out, since they already have 4 divisional wins.

[SunkenCiv]

Looks like good sound scheduling, a lot of divisional matchups to close out the season. The Cowboys face the Bears, the Rams, the Eagles, and the Redskins. The Eagles face the Giants, the Redskins, the Cowboys, and the Giants. The Giants face the Eagles, the Dolphins, the Redskins, and the Eagles.

[SunkenCiv]

Mathematically it's possible, but it's unlikely. Usually in the AFC it takes a worse record to get the wild card than it does in the NFC, because of New England. This year there's two dominant teams in both conferences, which keeps the less successful (ahem) teams in the hunt a little longer.

[SunkenCiv]

Usually in the AFC it takes a worse record to get the wild card than it does in the NFC

Still that way -- one fewer team eliminated in the AFC, one more in the "not yet eliminated" category, in the AFC.

Speaking of elimination...

BTW, the eliminated Falcons knocked off the 49ers. Current seeds, per CBS sports:

1. 1st Seed -- Ravens -- 12-2-0
2. 2nd Seed -- Patriots -- 11-3-0
3. 3rd Seed -- Chiefs -- 10-4-0
4. 4th Seed -- Texans -- 9-5-0
5. 5th Seed -- Bills -- 10-4-0
6. 6th Seed -- Steelers -- 8-6-0

1. 1st Seed -- Seahawks -- 11-3-0
2. 2nd Seed -- Packers -- 11-3-0
3. 3rd Seed -- Saints -- 11-3-0
4. 4th Seed -- Cowboys -- 7-7-0
5. 5th Seed -- 49ers -- 11-3-0
6. 6th Seed -- Vikings -- 10-4-0

[SunkenCiv]

Cincinnati clinched the number one draft pick. For a while, I think a lot of people were worried that they couldn’t even lose right. Thanks to their crappy play and four straight losses (was it only four?), the Lions have risen to 6th. The Lions still have to play their annual, season-ending loss to the Packers. Thanks to sports betting and the folks who run that, I’d not be surprised if they wind up beating the Packers.

Seattle and SF are battling for West div title, loser gets an NFC wild card spot. Seattle still has a shot at a bye week.

With a Dallas loss or Philadelphia win, Philly wins the other NFC wild card spot.

Buffalo has won the first wild card spot in the AFC.

Tennessee has to win to take the AFC wild card spot. Still alive are Pittsburgh (if they beat the Ravens, and the Titans lose to the Texans) and Oakland (if they beat the Broncos, Ravens beat the Steelers, Texans beat the Titans, and Colts beat the Jaguars).

Eliminated: Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Rams, Miami Dolphins, New York Giants, New York Jets, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-playoff-picture-standings-week-16-raiders-lottery-chance-at-playoffs-seahawks-blow-shot-at-bye/

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-playoff-picture-tiebreakers-explained-how-each-team-gets-the-edge-for-division-wild-card-races/

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/standings/playoffrace

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/postseason/bracket

[SunkenCiv]

The Browns lost to the Bengals, and then fired Freddie Kitchens, their seventh full-time coach since 2009. Meanwhile, in Detroit coach Matt Patricia (9-20-1) and GM Bob Quinn (27-34-1) are apparently still safe. All three wins this season were led by injured QB Matt Stafford. Under previous head coach Jim Caldwell (2014-2017) the Lions were 36-28 and had two playoff appearances. In my lifetime the team has just one playoff victory. It's time the horses' asses owners sell the team. It's clear that the owners just suck and are responsible for 100% of the team's problems, but those examples of the silver spoon set won't do it of course.

[SunkenCiv]

• Browns fire coach Freddie Kitchens after 1 season, 6-10 finish
• Bruce Allen fired as Redskins team president after 10 seasons with the franchise
• Giants fire coach Pat Shurmur, keep GM Dave Gettleman

[dfwgator]

I’m hung on whether they should keep Patricia. It’s not as if they’ll find anything better.