Dr. Noe: Nessie can't be a plesiosaur!!!

News.scotsman.com ^ | November 2nd 2006 | SHÂN ROSS

[Beowulf9]

A LOCH Ness Monster theory which suggests the creature is a living dinosaur has been dealt a blow by scientists.

Many believe that Nessie is a plesiosaur, a long-necked marine reptile which sought refuge in Scotland's second-largest freshwater loch when most of the species died out 160 million years ago.

But Dr Leslie Noe, a palaeontologist at Cambridge University's Sedgwick Museum, discovered that the plesiosaur would have been unable to lift its head up, swan-like, out of the water.

Most scientists believe the creatures became extinct with the other dinosaurs, but some insist it is possible that after the last Ice Age, some plesiosaurs may have been stranded in the 23-mile-long loch, which was connected to the sea.

The plesiosaur has a prominent small head on a long neck and a round body, and is the most popular explanation for mythical Nessie.

Dr Noe, whose findings are reported in this month's New Scientist, told experts at a meeting of the Society of Vertebrate Palaeontology in Canada, that plesiosaurs used their long necks to reach down and feed on soft-bodied animals living on the sea floor. By examining fossils of a plesiosaur, Muraenosaurus, and by calculating the articulation of the neck bones, Dr Noe concluded the neck was flexible and could move most easily when pointing down.

Dr Noe said: "The neck was a feeding tube, collecting soft-bodied prey. The osteology of the neck makes it certain the plesiosaur could not lift its head up, swan-like, out of the water."

However, the findings did not surprise George Edwards, one of the world's foremost authorities on the monster, who took a photograph of a unknown "creature" with a black hump he spotted on the loch in June 1986.

Mr Edwards, from Drumnadrochit, who runs Loch Ness cruises on his boat, the Nessie Hunter, said: "Most people don't support the dinosaur theory. The creature is some entirely new species. When you consider that every year in the open seas thousands of new species are discovered, this is the most likely explanation. But there's no doubt that a creature, one with a single hump, which most people report, does exist."

Monstrous tale is centuries old THE earliest reference to Nessie was in the life story of St Columba who, in August 565, apparently fought off a monster from Loch Ness that was attacking a Pict.

The first modern sighting was on 2 May, 1933, when the Inverness Courier reported a couple seeing "an enormous animal rolling and plunging on the surface". The London newspapers sent reporters to Scotland and a circus offered a £20,000 reward for the capture of the monster.

[Beowulf9]

As delicately as possible I ask the romantic and disappointed to remember this this simple rule of fact:

Although one can be soft now, one can also straighten up when it's called for.

[Jaysun]

Although one can be soft now, one can also straighten up when it's called for.

That is a lovely illustration. However, if you find yourself straightened up for longer than 6 hours straight you need to see a doctor (I can't believe that really happens, I never pointed north for that long, not even in high school).

[SunkenCiv]

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	Gods Graves Glyphs	Note: this topic is from November 7, 2006. Blast from the Past. Ordinarily I wouldn't ping it, but I'm pretty sure I missed this at the time, and figure most of you did as well. :') Mr Edwards, from Drumnadrochit, who runs Loch Ness cruises on his boat, the Nessie Hunter, said: "Most people don't support the dinosaur theory. The creature is some entirely new species. When you consider that every year in the open seas thousands of new species are discovered, this is the most likely explanation. But there's no doubt that a creature, one with a single hump, which most people report, does exist." To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list. GGG managers are SunkenCiv, StayAt HomeMother, and Ernest_at_the_Beach
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[Fred Nerks]

IT'S A BUNYIP!

Plesiosaur fossil, Antarctic.

& Plesiosaur fossil head reconstruction.

Aboriginal rock art. The bunyip was known in aboriginal legend to live in inland lakes and snatch the unwary...

[ApplegateRanch]

By examining fossils of a plesiosaur, Muraenosaurus, and by calculating the articulation of the neck bones, Dr Noe concluded the neck was flexible and could move most easily when pointing down

A pox an' a murrain on ye, Doctor Noe!

[sleddogs]

That is a lovely illustration. However, if you find yourself straightened up for longer than 6 hours straight you need to see a doctor (I can’t believe that really happens, I never pointed north for that long, not even in high school).

After 4 hours I would call all my friends!

[Grizzled Bear]

To brag?

[ApplegateRanch]

To brag?

To rescue his poor sore, worn out exhausted, wife.

[curmudgeonII]

Does the good doctor take into account that this creature [if it exists] may have mutaterd over the tens of millions of years since we know it existed?

[Pistolshot]

It's called priapism,

Here's the solution. Not very pretty.

Medical advice should be sought immediately for cases of priapism.

If the erection has been present for two hours the recommended therapy is pseudoephedrine 120 mg orally. If this has not subsided by four hours, a further 120 mg of pseudoephedrine is recommended. (Therapeutic Guidelines, 2001)

If the erection has been present for six hours, it is essential to contact a medical practitioner. The therapy at this stage is to aspirate blood from the corpus cavernosum under local anaesthetic. If this is still insufficient, then aspiration is conducted with injections of adrenaline as an adjuvant. (Therapeutic Guidelines, 2001)

If aspiration fails and tumescence re-occurs, surgical shunts are next attempted. These attempt to reverse the priapic state by shunting blood from the rigid corpora cavernosa into the corpus spongiosum (which contains the glans and the urethra). Distal shunts are the first step, followed by more proximal shunts.

Should all else fail, complete removal of the penis is necessary.

[bert]

Nessie evolved a strong neck to look around. What was is not what is.

[SunkenCiv]

The monster isn't the only thing hard to find:

Google

[Beowulf9]

Stories about Nessie rarer than Nessie. Lol!