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The Official Friday Silliness Thread Salutes Life
happynews.com ^ | September 15, 2006 | Sully777

Posted on 09/15/2006 2:12:28 AM PDT by sully777

It's Friday.

Life is meant to be lived.





TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Gardening; Health/Medicine; History; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; Outdoors; Society; Sports; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 12septwuzzabust; 1covetthyneighbors; anotherday; anotherdollar; anotherdonut; ass; assman; bootah; booty; brightandshiny; coffee; friday; hotdamn; junkinthetrunk; life; ofst; partyon; poa; schwing; silliness; upandattum; wakemeup; weekendfun
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To: The_Victor

81 posted on 09/15/2006 7:59:54 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: sully777

HER DIARY:

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar
to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought
he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so
we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what
was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I
love you too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to
do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant
and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed,
and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still
felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that
his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

____________________________________

HIS DIARY

I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.


82 posted on 09/15/2006 8:06:14 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: nuke rocketeer
I looked up synonyms for "diet" in my thesaurus, and found myself at words for a loss.

You know what diet is, don't you?

It's "die" with a "t".

Shalom.

83 posted on 09/15/2006 8:08:30 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: The_Victor
Bee the ball...




Ty Webb: Just be...bay...You...[hits Danny and gestures incoherently] be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.

Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.

Ty Webb: Danny, I'm ...ah... I'm a veg.
84 posted on 09/15/2006 8:08:48 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: r-q-tek86

LOL!


85 posted on 09/15/2006 8:10:11 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: KevinDavis
I'll take it

You scored as Assault Rifle. You are soldier. Or you want to be a soldier. Or you just love military-type firearms. You need assault rifle. M16 or AK-47 will do good.

Assault Rifle

81%

Sniper Rifle

69%

Pistol

63%

Shotgun

56%

SMG

50%

Revolver

44%

Machinegun

31%

What Firearm Fits You Best?
created with QuizFarm.com
86 posted on 09/15/2006 8:10:55 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: EX52D

TLC....
I just checked.

In a Fix hasn't been cancelled and Sparky is still listed as part of the 'crew'. It just isn't scheduled to air this month.

Maybe they're out fixing things!>:>


87 posted on 09/15/2006 8:14:16 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: sully777
Bee... the ice cram sammich...


88 posted on 09/15/2006 8:17:33 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: r-q-tek86
dang fingers... ice cream sammich
89 posted on 09/15/2006 8:18:26 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: JRios1968


Wells gets the signal from Rios. Nods good morning. Adjusts crotch. Blows off another sign from Rios. Yes. Winds up.

And he's traded off the Red Sox line-up.

Beautiful escape.
90 posted on 09/15/2006 8:19:08 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: r-q-tek86

Ice cram?


91 posted on 09/15/2006 8:19:40 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: sully777
Morning sully!

40 reasons to get drunk tonight!

1. If you don’t drink that booze, by God, someone else will.

2. The brewing industry alone employs 1.7 million people and that’s a lot of mouths to feed.

3. Bad ass nicknames like “Chuggybear,” “The Alabama Hamma,” “Pukey McPukerson” are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.

4. Your favorite bar stool needs just one more sitting to break it in.

5. This is the one and only night your soul mate will wander into the bar. Seriously.

6. Word on the street is the booze has been trash talking you all day.

7. Without your brilliant wit and charm all those poor bartenders will be so dreadfully bored.

8. Dude, after what you did last time, you gotta go back out there and explain yourself.

9. It’s far better to have a good time you won’t remember than a dull one you will.

10. Remember that English high school teacher you and your pals used to call “Mr. McTightass?” You are so starting to remind me of him.

11. You can bet something really important and worthy of celebration happened on this day at sometime or another.

12. How the hell can you walk around sober when you’re an insignificant speck in an infinite and uncaring universe?

13. Churchill and FDR got drunk, Hitler didn’t. So what are you, some kind of Nazi?

14. If you don’t you’ll wake up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and who the hell wants to go through life acting like a damn squirrel?

15. Your friends can’t have a good time without you.

16. Your friends might have a good time without you.

17. The Man says you shouldn’t and you don’t want to upset the Man, eh slavebot?

18. There is a 1000 percent better chance you will land a starring role in the upcoming Paris Hilton video Vegas Orgy.

19. Your lawn is so much more comfortable when you’re loaded.

20. You’re much less likely to remember doing all that embarrassing stuff.

21. That feisty barmaid might finally, you know, pick up on what you’re laying down.

22. Listen, are we down on this goddamn rock to have a good time or watch other people have a good time on TV?

23. Your girlfriend has rented a bunch of chick flicks you can snuggle to.

24. You’re under a lot of stress and if you don’t get crazy drunk you might do something crazy sober.

25. You gotta figure the odds of getting thrown in the drunk tank twice in one month are practically negligible.

26. If you don’t hunt the booze, the booze will surely hunt you.

27. When you write your memoirs you won’t have to go through the hassle of making up a bunch of decadent adventures.

28. Al-Qaeda forbids drinking and since when did you start taking orders from Al-Qaeda?

29. Let’s face it: modern life is a shit storm and booze is the only umbrella without any holes in it.

30. 7-11 nachos with extra cheese substitute and chili only taste good when you can’t remember eating them.

31. You did your damn monkey dance for the Man and now you get your monkey treat.

32. God hates the sight of you.

33. God won’t stop staring at you.

34. Your boss gets all weirded out when you get drunk during the day.

35. Three Stooges episodes you’ve watched a hundred times are suddenly hilarious again.

36. The day will come when you will have to single-handedly face death, and there isn’t a person alive who can tell you what will happen next.

37. Hemingway shot himself after being sober for two months.

38. When your coworkers ask “What did you get up to last night?” you can smile all cool like and say “Maaaaaan, you don’t wanna know,” instead of chirping “I alphabetized my DVD collection and found out I have two copies of The Truth About Cats and Dogs! Two!”

39. Remember your childhood dream of meeting a brewery heiress and jet-setting around the world on her dime? You think that’s going to happen while sitting in your damn apartment watching Captain Picard surrender the Enterprise for the tenth straight episode?

40. It’s so much easier to ring up those old flames and explain exactly where they went wrong. —Frank Kelly Rich

92 posted on 09/15/2006 8:20:18 AM PDT by Millee (A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
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To: najida

I'll give 'em something to fix all right. :)


93 posted on 09/15/2006 8:22:55 AM PDT by EX52D (Life is a stage, and we are merely players...)
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To: najida
You want eye candy, you get Sparky You want it FIXED, you get this guy
94 posted on 09/15/2006 8:24:23 AM PDT by fredhead (Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
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To: EX52D

LOL!
It makes ya want to go rip out the ceiling in your living room and muck up pouring a patio in the back.

"OoooohHhhh SPARKY! I think my wires are allllll tangled. Can ya help me fix'em hun?"


95 posted on 09/15/2006 8:25:06 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: najida

See #89


96 posted on 09/15/2006 8:25:44 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: fredhead

Sparky is an electrician.
Norm is a master carpenter.

I'll take one of each please :)

Norm can build me a dining room suite and Sparky can make sure the lights in the bedroom work correctly.


97 posted on 09/15/2006 8:26:29 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: ShadowAce


Good morning ShadowAce: Please don't mind me whilst I plan the overthrow of the world.
98 posted on 09/15/2006 8:27:10 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: r-q-tek86

You missin' some fingers darlin'??


99 posted on 09/15/2006 8:28:20 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
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To: sully777
I'll beat you to it!!!
100 posted on 09/15/2006 8:30:14 AM PDT by fredhead (Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
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