Posted on 07/07/2006 2:26:47 AM PDT by sully777
This page
I'm here...8^)
OMG ... that was just plain SICK! It was like a bad train wreck and I couldn't look away. LOL
A newly wed couple just checked into their hotel. As the groom was unpacking, he threw his pants at his bride and said, "Try these on"... the new wife looked at them and said,"don't be rediculous, I can't wear these"! The young man then replied,"that's right, I wear the pants in this family!"
The bride, taken by the remark, ran into the bathroom and started crying... after a few minutes she emerged with her panties in her hand, threw them at the pompus groom and said,"put these on". The groom, wanting to not disappoint his new wife again, abliges, only to have the panties get stuck midway.."Honey, I can't get into these", he said. She replied, "and you won't as long as you keep that attitude"...
Hey there RQ, remember me? Erased me from your mind?
Thread Jester Ping
A low to medium-volume pinglist dedicated for all the thread jesters out there--you know who you are...8^)
FReepmail rzeznikj at stout or MikefromOhio to be added or removed from the list...
We were in hysterics here at work :)
How could I ever erase you... and your rubber glove... from my mind?
Um, that's a chipmunk...
Cipmunks, squirrels...they're all fuzzy 'cute' rats....
My aunt's beloved cat Ginger had grown seriously overweight, so she decided to take him to the vet to find out if there was anything wrong with him - and more to the point, whether anything could be done about it.
So she put him into the kitty-carry box, and drove to the surgery.
The doc prescribed a course of pills, and my aunt left, happy in the knowledge that Ginger would soon be his slim old self again.
But after a few weeks of taking the pills, there was no change: Ginger was as fat as ever. Soon months had gone by, and still there was no difference. In fact, if anything, it was getting worse.
The other problem was the invoices from the vet - these pills were costing a fortune.
It soon became clear to us all that Ginger had become a doc-billed fatty-puss.
A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest. Every day, as worker bees do, they would go out into their fields, gather pollen from the flowers, and bring it back to make honey.
The bees had a problem, though, because every so often an intruder would come around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids who thought it'd be fun to throw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it.
Being the intelligent bees that they are, they built an alarm system for the hive. They built it such that one bee pulls a lever, which triggers the alarm that the bees will hear from the fields, and then the bees can come back to protect their home.
There was one bee who was exclusively assigned that job, and he was aptly named the "Lever Bee." His job was to watch for potential adversaries, and pull the lever to raise the alarm.
Now obviously, the security of the hive depends on this one Lever Bee. So he has to be constantly ready and on the alert to be able to do his job.
And that, friends, is why people say, "I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.