Posted on 04/21/2006 7:40:22 AM PDT by BJClinton
Happy Friday everyone! The monster storms last night knocked out power and turned my alarm off. It also jacked with the clock on my coffee grinder/brewer. Not cool. Anywho, please, let the silliness begin!.
That's a great list.
I'm sending this one to my mom!
Everything I know about driving, justice and tight pants, I learned from CHiPs.
1. A crashed car, any type of crash - even a riding lawn mower, will explode.
2. The main job of the highway patrol is to pull you from the above situation. Do not attempt to get out of your car on your own, you must be pulled free to survive.
3. Criminals are always misunderstood and will flee like rabbits on foot if chased long enough. You can always catch them when they try to climb a fence at the far end of an alley.
4. When tragedy unfolds on the interstate all other cars will slow down to 25 mph and space themselves out so that the highway patrol can zip around them on their 'cycles.
5. Highway Patrolmen always end their shifts laughing hysterically at some comical situation and will freeze sporadically for no apparent reason in the process.
6. Only Ponch and John can wear tight pants. If you wear them you are gay.
7. The only cool highway patrolmen ride motorcycles and wear sunglasses. Only dorky patrolmen drive cars.
8. No matter how many rules you break, cars you blow up, hi-speed chases you make, or expensive prototype police robo-cycles you defeat at taxpayer expense, the chief will never, NEVER suspend you and will always laugh like a loon at the end fo the shift with you.
9. Hot women always dig highway patrolmen in tight pants. Duh.
10. All police probelms are solved in under an hour and involve spectacular non-fatal chases. This is written in the bible somewhere.
ROTFLMAO!
Don't forget that the CHiPs love Roller Disco on the weekends 8>)
That's right! Surfing too! [They always catch smugglers when they surf]
I did all that just last shift, didn't you??
Slacker :)
PS, you never have to write a report on any of it
LOL...my union sucks, man.
Ha, ha...no kidding. Hey Ponch, where's the drag sled? you're doing the diagram.
Same thing on COPs. The guy with the camera crew blows off the reports for the poor schmuck who shows up second. Of course the shift Lieutenant you never see shows up for TV face time
Come on down to Texas, we do it all, get paid time and a half all the time and don't need no stinkin' unions (I wish)
I'll take a beer anytime, with thanks (don't tell anyone, but I am having one now).
True enough. No orphan beers.
Even better-all the females are the "Crime Prevention/Community Policing officer types that have never been on the job and evryone needs to stand by while they "handle" a call.
It's really great when they need to deal with the naked schizo while everyone else stands by to see what she's gonna do
The beauty of the english language is the ever-present double entendre--that's the rub.
... Just saying...
Download this to your photobucket for me please.
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