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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
OFST | 04/21/2006 | IPW

Posted on 04/21/2006 7:40:22 AM PDT by BJClinton

Happy Friday everyone! The monster storms last night knocked out power and turned my alarm off. It also jacked with the clock on my coffee grinder/brewer. Not cool. Anywho, please, let the silliness begin!.



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: ipw; ofst; tgif
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To: HOTTIEBOY

Drinking, I vaguely remember this drinking thing you speak of. All stopped when we going through the groccery store and the baby looked around the baby aisle and screamed "Daddy juice" in a really loud voice.

Fridge got cleaned out that night and, yes, this is another true story.


341 posted on 04/21/2006 11:09:12 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: bk1000
Hand grenade & weed smuggled in vagina ping

Flash-bang sn*tch stash?

342 posted on 04/21/2006 11:09:13 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: BJClinton

Placenta helper, YUM! TomKat have certainly given us here at FR lotsa laughs!

Here's something from my little corner of the world.

From the corporate and Silicon Valley jungles.

"batmobiling" putting up emotional shields from the retracting armor that covers the batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling"

"betamaxed" when a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market"

"blowing your buffer" losing your train of thought

"cobweb" a WWW site that never changes

"elvis year" the peak year of popularity as in "1993 was Barney the dinosaur's elvis year"

"generica" fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in "we were so lost in generica that I couldn't remember what city it was"

"going postal" totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages

"high dome" egghead, scientist, PhD

"irritainment" annoying but you can't stop watching i.e; the O.J. trial

"meatspace" the physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also "carbon community" "facetime" "F2F" "RL"

"percussive maintenance" the fine art of whacking a device to get it working

"prairie dogging" in companies where everyone has a cubicle something happens and everyone pops up to look

"salmon day" swimming upstream all day to get screwed in the end

"siliwood" the coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers also "hollywired"

"square headed girlfriend" (boyfriend) computer

"treeware" manuals and documentation

"umfriend" sexual relationship "this is Dale, my...um...friend"

"world wide wait" WWW

"yuppie food coupons" twenty dollar bills from an ATM


343 posted on 04/21/2006 11:10:24 AM PDT by Theresawithanh (Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around...)
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To: BJClinton

Nope, but I has to take the Steeler jersey I was wearing and burn it. Kinda like a flag hitting the ground, you really can't look at it the same way ever again.


344 posted on 04/21/2006 11:10:46 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: Steelerfan

That should have said "beer aisle". Story makes a little more sense that way.


345 posted on 04/21/2006 11:11:27 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: Steelerfan

We need pictures or a 30 second film clip of those events.


346 posted on 04/21/2006 11:12:14 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Steelerfan

LOL...I think you're right. Why can't we just be born old looking and stupid, and grow younger looking with age and wisdom? :)


347 posted on 04/21/2006 11:12:14 AM PDT by EX52D (Life is a stage, and we are merely players...)
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To: kevkrom

Or a big bang for the buck!


348 posted on 04/21/2006 11:12:25 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Steelerfan

You gotta stop man.

Your fridge got cleaned out? Damn, its worse than I thought.

My exwife said I drink too much. I left right then and came back with four cases of beer and showed her what drinking too much really looked like.

Man, your fridge cleaned out of beer? What are you 10 years old?


349 posted on 04/21/2006 11:12:33 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (AIXELSYD TAEB I)
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To: Lucky9teen

I don't see anything wrong with it! ;-P


350 posted on 04/21/2006 11:14:14 AM PDT by MortMan (Trains stop at train stations. On my desk is a workstation...)
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To: Lucky9teen

1) That's not a lady, but she is a fun date!

2) Why doesn't this ever happen at any of the conferences I go to?

351 posted on 04/21/2006 11:15:36 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: fredhead

He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear pants don't you?

He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . .. . " I do not"

Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A.Both of them.

Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A.He buys two cases of beer.

Q.What is the difference between men and government bonds? A.The bonds mature.

Q..Why are blonde jokes so short? A.So men can remember them.

Q.How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A.We don't know; it has never happened.

Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A.. A widow.

Q.Why are married women heavier than single women? A.Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A.They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."


352 posted on 04/21/2006 11:15:44 AM PDT by Sonora
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To: HOTTIEBOY; Steelerfan
SAVE STEELERFAN!!!

Image hosting by Photobucket

353 posted on 04/21/2006 11:15:45 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Steelerfan

That is funny. It's a tradition in my family for kids to be trained to get beer from the fridge during football games as soon as they can walk.


354 posted on 04/21/2006 11:16:21 AM PDT by BJClinton (Happy San Jacinto Day!)
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To: Dashing Dasher

I was talking with a married high school buddy of mine and he asked "why do all of our stories seem to start with 'I was really drunk and...' or 'I did something really stupid and my wife...'"

I am sure there is no connection whatsoever.


355 posted on 04/21/2006 11:18:09 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: Dashing Dasher; HOTTIEBOY; Steelerfan

I cleaned out my fridge too. Helped my hubby drink every last one of the SOB's.


356 posted on 04/21/2006 11:18:09 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: Dashing Dasher

OMG...I think I just died and went to heaven...


357 posted on 04/21/2006 11:18:23 AM PDT by EX52D (Life is a stage, and we are merely players...)
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To: Dashing Dasher; Steelerfan

I don't know if there is any hope.

She cleaned out his fridge. Damn! I'm stumped for words.

But I will take a tequilla shot if you don't mind...


358 posted on 04/21/2006 11:18:42 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (AIXELSYD TAEB I)
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To: Steelerfan

Man, that's just sad. Mrs. BJC loves the Cowboys so much she named our cats after players and Landry.

In case you missed it, the Steelers won the superbowl.


359 posted on 04/21/2006 11:19:46 AM PDT by BJClinton (Happy San Jacinto Day!)
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To: conservativebabe

>>>>>I cleaned out my fridge too. Helped my hubby drink every last one of the SOB's.<<<<<<

HottieGirl is that you? I LOVE YOU!


360 posted on 04/21/2006 11:19:47 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (AIXELSYD TAEB I)
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