Posted on 03/03/2006 5:38:05 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He
shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on
the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this
field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are
not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial
attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me
get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said," Apparently, you don't
know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small
disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule? The
Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three
times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest
and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He
agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of
his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and
dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff
sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The
lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to
get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket,
he said, "Okay, now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can
have the duck."
No way! What a trip! Keep us posted.
And then what do you do with them?
Do you "fold" them before you wrap them?
I have got to travel north to see this.
In Norfolk, VA, we caught little blue craps.
another unfortunate name. Good thing this lady is a realtor and doesn't own a mattress or carpet store.
http://www.pstaines.com/
LOL!!!!
PLEASE tell me she's not serious!
Shhh... you don't want to wake them.
a blender
plastic cups
vodka
***************
LOL! You are bad. :)
I don't think they're up yet, DD.
You have a certain type of insanity rarely seen outside of rubber rooms. Thank you for playing our Shopping Game.
Q: Why did Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 AM when he was president?
A: To make sure she was the First Lady...
Boiling: Live crabs are often cooked by dropping them into boiling water, which cooks them quickly. Cook them at a rolling boil. For extra flavor, use fish stock instead of plain water, or add a few lemon wedges to the water.
HILARIOUS!
So true. Don't you just love her?!
Ice down that beer, please...I'm on my way....A light beer for me, please.
A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton.
60% said, "Never again!"
Just don't smell it - you don't want to start "pickle sniffer" type rumors.
LOL...me too!
Q: How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?
A: He marks the camels that kick
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.