Posted on 02/17/2006 5:00:51 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
Happy Friday Everyone!
Have you been eating carrots from Gilligan's Island? Must have since I had lunch in Dallas today.
DATING RITUALS
WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live! on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The POINT?
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
Maybe I was in Dallas today, too... did'ja ever think of that Mr. Smarty Pants?
Yeah! I'm not the only one! Here, you can have your own brain fart moment sign.
I guess that gives him an extra set of headlights in cold weather.
When around me, it needs to be "be careful were you set your drink down"."
I think the owner was just on DemocraticUnderground, in which case, the puppy is completely justified!
the visual, day10, keeps swimming around in your head, eh?
Bubba and Ray (Tennessee mechanical engineers) were standing at the
base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we
don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and
laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement,
and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde! We
ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Well, she would meet 3 of my 5 qualifications for an attractive female......
Is htere a movie? or just the sound? The sound was hilarious!
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