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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****

Posted on 02/17/2006 5:00:51 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien

Happy Friday Everyone!



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; UFO's
KEYWORDS: ofst; tgif
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To: MadCharity
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421 posted on 02/17/2006 12:04:24 PM PST by EX52D (They say that anger is just love disappointed...)
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To: Maximus of Texas
Max... I saw you downtown at lunch... you really otta cut back on that Viagra...


422 posted on 02/17/2006 12:05:29 PM PST by r-q-tek86 (Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about)
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To: r-q-tek86

Have you been eating carrots from Gilligan's Island? Must have since I had lunch in Dallas today.


423 posted on 02/17/2006 12:07:02 PM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my finger)
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To: r-q-tek86

DATING RITUALS

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.


IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.


JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later ~ her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live! on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT?

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?


424 posted on 02/17/2006 12:08:36 PM PST by r-q-tek86 (Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about)
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To: Maximus of Texas

Maybe I was in Dallas today, too... did'ja ever think of that Mr. Smarty Pants?


425 posted on 02/17/2006 12:09:30 PM PST by r-q-tek86 (Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about)
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To: Xenophobic Alien



Newsman Holds Snake




426 posted on 02/17/2006 12:10:17 PM PST by johnk (faithful with little....)
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To: Xenophobic Alien



Farley - El Nino



427 posted on 02/17/2006 12:12:44 PM PST by johnk (faithful with little....)
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To: r-q-tek86
Be careful where you pee

428 posted on 02/17/2006 12:13:28 PM PST by MadCharity ("Hindsight is not wisdom, and second guessing is not a strategy." Go GW!!!)
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To: johnk

429 posted on 02/17/2006 12:13:50 PM PST by CJ Wolf (To Zot or Not That is the question.)
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To: MadCharity
Duh....not thinking today

Yeah! I'm not the only one! Here, you can have your own brain fart moment sign.


430 posted on 02/17/2006 12:14:31 PM PST by girlscout
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Comment #431 Removed by Moderator

To: MadCharity

I guess that gives him an extra set of headlights in cold weather.


432 posted on 02/17/2006 12:18:15 PM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my finger)
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To: MadCharity

When around me, it needs to be "be careful were you set your drink down"."


433 posted on 02/17/2006 12:19:02 PM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my finger)
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To: MadCharity
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I think the owner was just on DemocraticUnderground, in which case, the puppy is completely justified!

434 posted on 02/17/2006 12:22:33 PM PST by Tatze (I voted for John Kerry before I voted against him!)
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To: Xenophobic Alien
Click here for Farting Dog Harmonics.
435 posted on 02/17/2006 12:22:49 PM PST by Reaganesque
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To: r-q-tek86
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436 posted on 02/17/2006 12:23:11 PM PST by Tatze (I voted for John Kerry before I voted against him!)
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To: day10

the visual, day10, keeps swimming around in your head, eh?


437 posted on 02/17/2006 12:23:57 PM PST by peacebaby (I think your tractor's sexy.)
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To: r-q-tek86

Bubba and Ray (Tennessee mechanical engineers) were standing at the
base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we
don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and
laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement,
and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde! We
ask for the height and she gives us the length!"


438 posted on 02/17/2006 12:24:40 PM PST by EX52D (They say that anger is just love disappointed...)
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To: peacebaby

Well, she would meet 3 of my 5 qualifications for an attractive female......


439 posted on 02/17/2006 12:25:53 PM PST by day10 (Whenever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: johnk

Is htere a movie? or just the sound? The sound was hilarious!


440 posted on 02/17/2006 12:26:35 PM PST by peacebaby (I think your tractor's sexy.)
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