I heard that this guy was more like 6' 4".
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No matter. He stands tall in the eyes of the left. |
Posted on 01/27/2006 2:52:48 PM PST by old patriot
In an unbelievable scoop for Cosmopolitan Magazine, we have been able to get an in-depth and literally up close and personal interview with Osama bin Laden. While in an unusually festive and childlike nature, due in part to what this very, up till now, reclusive man has chosen as a “frumpy” styling dress-code, he now openly states that all of his robes were simply to hide a severe case of toe-nail fungus that his HMO would not pay for its treatment as their consideration was that such treatments were solely cosmetic. As such, Osama could only wear out-of-date, but still fashionable, four-inch spike heals. Does this man know fashion, or what?
AND as a real scoop for all of our readers out there; this not very tall man, only five-eight on his bare-feet, thinks that open-toe stiletto heals will come back along with plunging and open-back robes.
This very shy man is very playful in real life as he was comfortable enough in this interview to remove his false beard, even to the point of allowing this reporter to view his very prominent receding hair line. He did secretly vow that he was very hopeful to get a “Bossily Transplant” this coming year.
Finally, this jovial man reveals his, not only inner thoughts, but exactly what his followers really want out of life and in their own deaths.
Osama bin Laden stated that his entire movement’s mission has been misrepresented by his former official spokesman, Sulaiman Abu Ghaith. Accordingly, this just named man has a severe case of irritable bowl syndrome and does not speak in anything approaching complete sentences.
As if to prove his point, Osama said that Ghaith went so far one time as to make anyone who would be foolish enough to actually believe anything that he even says, that: “There are thousands of the Islamic nation’s youths who are eager to die just as the Americans are eager to live.”
Osama was slapping his knees and wiping a tear from his eye when he confided in this reporter that: “That silly man, . . . he just needs to get regular.” And to make matters even worse, bin Laden says that the Taliban official, Mohammed Hussein Mortised, agrees with not only what Ghaith says, but that “The Americans are fighting so they can live and enjoy the material things in life, . . . But we are fighting so we can die in the cause of God.”
Even further, Osama bin Laden wanted everyone to know that these two men had very unhappy childhood’s because even their goats would not play with them and their mammas didn’t shave their mustaches close enough whenever they kissed them good-night.
(to be continued)
only five-eight on his bare-feet...
I heard that this guy was more like 6' 4".
I heard that this guy was more like 6' 4".
|
|
No matter. He stands tall in the eyes of the left. |
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