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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
Free Republic ^ | 11/18/2005 | 1337 speak suxors

Posted on 11/18/2005 5:50:36 AM PST by BJClinton

Yeah! Made it to the weekend and it's hunting season. Since Turkey Day is just a few days away that means my two favorite football games are up. UT vs. TAMU and the Cowboy's Thanksgiving Debacle. But looming on the horizon is the dreaded Christmas gift-shopping. Maybe this year I'll get it done well before we head off to the folks place....nah, who am I kidding.

Another couple of fine pieces from Prime Choice:





TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: bubbles; burp; coloredbubbles; ofst; tgif
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To: ErnBatavia

Jimmy has assumed something more than room temperature.


21 posted on 11/18/2005 6:02:20 AM PST by RightCanuck
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To: BJClinton

Happy Friday!


22 posted on 11/18/2005 6:03:01 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (Want to be on my Civil Engineers ping list? Just say so!)
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To: ErnBatavia

ROTFLMAO!


23 posted on 11/18/2005 6:04:05 AM PST by BJClinton (An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. ~ Sir Winston Churchill)
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To: BJClinton
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

My brother would do this, including looking to see of the remote was atop or aside the TV, and still wouldn't change it while standing there. And what IRRITATED THE HELL out of me was he was going to the next channel up!

24 posted on 11/18/2005 6:04:22 AM PST by theDentist (The Dems have put all their eggs in one basket-case: Howard "Belltower" Dean.)
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To: The_Victor
At least the german cops are more "manly" than these french army "guys" (graphic stolen without permission from Dasher)


25 posted on 11/18/2005 6:05:25 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (Want to be on my Civil Engineers ping list? Just say so!)
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To: BJClinton
WOOHOO! TOP 50!

TGIF!


Be careful going home, ya'll...

26 posted on 11/18/2005 6:05:54 AM PST by SquirrelKing (I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.)
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To: BJClinton
Good morning!

I am here early but don't get to play...gotta go get the new name on everything (driver's license, Social Security card, etc...)

See All Y'All this afternoon.

27 posted on 11/18/2005 6:06:02 AM PST by Kate of Spice Island (Tagline space available - inquire within)
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To: BJClinton

Please read this, you may have to someday protect your family.
 
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
 
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck
Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
 
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
 
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
 
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more that meet the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
 
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to
have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly thereafter all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
 
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling
"Bang!"
 
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his
back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
 
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
"booya!"
 
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected
with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of
course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the
fatality rate of the actors he fights.
 
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
 
12. When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said,
"Don't worry about it honey," and went into the backyard. He came back five
minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a
few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When
his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the
face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
 
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If
you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity," then you are dead wrong.
 
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
 
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put
razor wire in his Whopper, Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
 
16. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she
was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
 
17.Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
 
18. Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed
two.
 
19. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
 
20. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*ck with Chuck!"
Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and
laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went
deaf.
 
21. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
 
22. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked
15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
 
23. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
 
24. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was more "humane".
 
25. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Owl_Eagle

(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,

 it was probably sarcasm)

28 posted on 11/18/2005 6:06:10 AM PST by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: BJClinton

I already started my day with a giggle.

I was driving to work behind an old gas-guzzler plastered with anti-Bush stickers(including "I can't see the forest for the Bushes" -since we know W. is promoting a no forest policy)

Smack in the middle - "Got Oil?"

Uh...yes I do. So do YOU stinkin' hippie since you're driving an ancient gas guzzling non-hybrid car! The complete unintentional idiocy made me laugh!


29 posted on 11/18/2005 6:06:12 AM PST by Hoodlum91
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To: theDentist

Makes me wonder why they even put controls on the TV itself. I think voice activated controls would be awesome, no more remote. And I could set it up so when a football game is on only my voice will control the TV...hmmm..I may be on to something.


30 posted on 11/18/2005 6:08:03 AM PST by BJClinton (An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. ~ Sir Winston Churchill)
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To: Owl_Eagle

Chuck Norris Ping... ha, ha... you crack me up


31 posted on 11/18/2005 6:10:31 AM PST by YouPosting2Me
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To: Fierce Allegiance

You can have my nukes when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.

32 posted on 11/18/2005 6:12:13 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: BJClinton

33 posted on 11/18/2005 6:13:58 AM PST by Dallas59 (“You love life, while we love death.” - Al-Qaeda / Democratic Party)
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To: BJClinton

34 posted on 11/18/2005 6:15:09 AM PST by Dallas59 (“You love life, while we love death.” - Al-Qaeda / Democratic Party)
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To: Hoodlum91

My day didn't start out so silly I left the house at 4:45am and proceeded southbound on the interstate. The driver of a northbound Ford Ranger fell asleep for a second and veered off the road. When he relized what was happening he over corrected and rolled his pickup 4 times through the median. Thankfully except for a few bumps, bruises and cuts he appeared to be alright.

He was lucky he was wearing his seatbelt, there wasn't a whole lot left of his truck.


35 posted on 11/18/2005 6:15:25 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien (Kerry lost. Please take that stupid bumper sticker off your car!)
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To: BJClinton

Adding insult to injury?

36 posted on 11/18/2005 6:17:06 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: BJClinton

An Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup on I-30
and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Bout wut?"


37 posted on 11/18/2005 6:18:48 AM PST by auto power
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To: YouPosting2Me

Can't take credit for that.  Just got it e mailed to me.  Hope it hasn't been widely circulated. But it was LOL funny.

Owl_Eagle

(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,

 it was probably sarcasm)

38 posted on 11/18/2005 6:20:50 AM PST by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: Xenophobic Alien

Yes, that is definitely NOT silly.

Hope it gets better.


39 posted on 11/18/2005 6:22:41 AM PST by Hoodlum91
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To: BJClinton

An Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup on I-30
and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Bout wut?"


40 posted on 11/18/2005 6:28:03 AM PST by auto power
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