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Parody ZOT of Free Republic

Posted on 11/03/2005 10:28:48 PM PST by TheMadLurker

If you have a sense of humor, and can poke fun at yourself:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/fear4republic/


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To: Victoria Delsoul; Alice au Wonderland
"Is there a way you can solve that problem?"

Phosgene might work.
2,061 posted on 12/06/2005 8:20:25 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: EsmeraldaA

It's a good thing that I don't need anyone (like a man) to take care of me because I'd be in a pretty bad situation if I did.


2,062 posted on 12/06/2005 8:21:28 PM PST by tuliptree76 (I *am* pursuing an untamed ornithoid without a cause.)
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To: Army Air Corps

I wouldn't know what to do.


2,063 posted on 12/06/2005 8:22:56 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Just wear a hazmat suit and let the gas do the rest.


2,064 posted on 12/06/2005 8:24:05 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Army Air Corps; Victoria Delsoul

What is Phosgene?

If it is a mouse, I have to figure out how it got in. Since the bedroom shares a wall with the garage, this should be fairly simple. Then I'll have to lay out the traps, since Mcxlplx is too young to hunt and kill successfully.

If it's something larger, I'm sending the husband in after it!


2,065 posted on 12/06/2005 8:24:19 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience, Caustic Court Castigator)
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To: tuliptree76

Okay, I can't help it; it's the grammarian in me:

Do you mean "a man" or "anyone like a man"?

*tiptoeing away*


2,066 posted on 12/06/2005 8:25:46 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience, Caustic Court Castigator)
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To: All; yall; Alice au Wonderland; Kindly Old Doc Tsu

walp... just clocked out... have some mud to slug afore segashuating on home... DO wish someone hadn't locked the damn stamps in a file cabinet and then hid the damn key location unknown... means I have to stamp all these damned statements tomorrow morning... wanted to KILL this task before shutting my peepers tonite.

oh, well... can't be too mad - shoulda thunk to bag the stamps afore she left. my error.

so... do whut naow?


2,067 posted on 12/06/2005 8:25:48 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

Phosgene (also known as carbonyl chloride, COCl2) is a highly toxic gas or refrigerated liquid that was used as a chemical weapon in World War I but is also used to make plastics and pesticides. Phosgene gas has no color but may appear as a white or yellowish haze when released into air. In lower concentrations its odor resembles recently cut hay or green corn (maize) while at higher concentrations it may be strong and unpleasant.


2,068 posted on 12/06/2005 8:25:50 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Army Air Corps

I see. Thanks for the info.


2,069 posted on 12/06/2005 8:25:51 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Alice au Wonderland

Armed dust bunnies in my case:



He opened his eyes to a fuzzy grey expanse in pained bewilderment.
What had happened?
He blinked a few times, and then noticed that the grey expanse was moving.

"Ah, you are... awake, flesh creature." said a fuzzy, dusty, almost laughable squeaky voice.
The owner of the voice backed up to reveal the biggest dust bunny he had ever seen..
More or less bipedal on huge strong jumping feet, but graced with knuckles to the ground gorilla like forepaws.
The dust bunny cracked its knuckles to make a point while sending static sparks from its carbano-detritus lepeform body.

He appreciably shivered in reponse.
"We have a list of.. demands for you to meet." the voice went on, the song 'It must be Bunnies' playing in the background.


2,070 posted on 12/06/2005 8:26:35 PM PST by Darksheare (I'm not suspicious & I hope it's nutritious but I think this sandwich is made of mime.)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

About a year ago, I had a mouse problem in my apartment. I couldn't get myself to kill the mice, so I got one of those live Hav-a-Hart traps. I caught 5 mice before I figured out where they were coming in at. Stuffed that hole full of steel wool, and I haven't had a problem since.


2,071 posted on 12/06/2005 8:27:41 PM PST by tuliptree76 (I *am* pursuing an untamed ornithoid without a cause.)
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To: NicknamedBob; tuliptree76
LOL!
The moment I saw your name, I said to myself (great conversation) what did you do or not ?
2,072 posted on 12/06/2005 8:27:58 PM PST by EsmeraldaA
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To: Alice au Wonderland

phosgene is Hun poison gas, WWI, basically chlorine. blistering agent, IIRC, turns into hydrochloric acid in contact with moisture (laike, in yo' peepers an' lungs an' sech)


2,073 posted on 12/06/2005 8:28:02 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

I meant any person in particular - but I was mainly referring to a man.


2,074 posted on 12/06/2005 8:29:21 PM PST by tuliptree76 (I *am* pursuing an untamed ornithoid without a cause.)
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To: Army Air Corps

I see. You mean, that lovely, fresh mown lawn smell that I love might really be my neighbors practicing chemical warfare?

Dastards!!!!!

I'm sticking to the traps.


2,075 posted on 12/06/2005 8:29:37 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience, Caustic Court Castigator)
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To: King Prout

One could "take it up a notch" and try diphosgene.


2,076 posted on 12/06/2005 8:30:03 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: EsmeraldaA

I figured you meant "tough" when I saw what you wrote.


2,077 posted on 12/06/2005 8:30:42 PM PST by tuliptree76 (I *am* pursuing an untamed ornithoid without a cause.)
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To: King Prout

Good evening, o my sibling.

The Doc is out for the night. She has mastered accessing a bio page and accessing her own freepmail.


2,078 posted on 12/06/2005 8:30:54 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (Viper-Tongued Sister of the King, Mother Superior, Purveyor of Prurience, Caustic Court Castigator)
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To: Alice au Wonderland
Have you tried using carnivorous nanites?
2,079 posted on 12/06/2005 8:31:12 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

the cat's first name may be Mcxlplx, and his last name your own, but his REAL name is MURPHY.

*Iiiiii* named him.
*Iiiiii* was the first of the family to have any contact with him.
*Iiiiii* was the one whose forearm the little panicked ingrate shredded.
thus *Iiiiii* named him Murphy (after his squad-car coloration AND because so many things had gone wrong for him) and *Iiiiii* get the last word on the issue.

so there.

NYAGH!


2,080 posted on 12/06/2005 8:31:19 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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