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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: MotleyGirl70

I agree!
And they talk about how much they love their wives, daughters, mothers, etc - and they call other women "hotties", "babes", and "broads" -- I wonder what they are thinking! Do they know that the "hotties", "babes", and "broads" are someone's wife, daughter or mother?

I have gotten caught up in those arguments a few times and vow to just not go there anymore with some of the neanderthals.

I do - however - enjoy many of pissants threads. There just seem to be a few knuckle draggers who ruin the fun for everyone.


181 posted on 03/16/2005 9:21:28 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: Dashing Dasher
I do - however - enjoy many of pissants threads. There just seem to be a few knuckle draggers who ruin the fun for everyone.

Don't get me wrong, I like pissants threads too. I should have stated that it's not only HIS threads.

BTW, knuckle draggers ...I never heard that one before. LOL! I'll have to remember that one! :)

182 posted on 03/16/2005 10:23:27 AM PST by MotleyGirl70 (Rap is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.)
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To: MotleyGirl70
It fits - doesn't it!

And you are 100% correct - it isn't just Pissant's threads that get the KDs to sit up on the haunches and bellow.
183 posted on 03/16/2005 10:27:51 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: pissant

Pilsner Urquell
One of my faves too...
However, lately I'm on a wheat beer kick.


184 posted on 03/16/2005 10:28:40 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: tob2

"Hey, what about coffee? Isn't that a drink?"


Maybe Irish coffee (without the coffee).


185 posted on 03/16/2005 4:14:14 PM PST by MoochPooch (A righteous person worries about his or her behavior, an extremist about everyone else's.)
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To: Neets

You didn't ping me here?!


186 posted on 03/16/2005 8:39:06 PM PST by Senator Pardek
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To: pissant

Got me!


187 posted on 03/17/2005 2:33:25 PM PST by toddlintown (Cold out? Nah, that's just the nuclear winter.)
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