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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: ValerieUSA

"Oh, are his hands tied? hmmmm.... interesting".
______________________________________
You give us freeper guys a run for the money in the interesting thoughts category!


161 posted on 03/15/2005 6:21:23 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant
Guinness: A man of the world Who want's to get some
162 posted on 03/15/2005 6:21:55 PM PST by CJ Wolf (Beer it does a body good.)
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To: pissant

Yes, I do.


163 posted on 03/15/2005 6:22:12 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA

If they monitored freepmail, we'd likely both get banned. ;0)


164 posted on 03/15/2005 6:22:46 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Yo-Yo; pissant

I should read a bit farther before responding. Oh well, I like your posts pissant.


165 posted on 03/15/2005 6:23:40 PM PST by CJ Wolf (pissant fan here.)
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To: CJ Wolf

Gotta beat the chicks off with a stick when I'm nursing a Guinness.


166 posted on 03/15/2005 6:25:04 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: CJ Wolf

annoying is the answer.....just kiddin'


167 posted on 03/15/2005 6:26:19 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant
You nurse with a Guinness? I thought they stopped recommending that kind of thing. Couldn't hurt, I guess.


168 posted on 03/15/2005 6:33:36 PM PST by CJ Wolf
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To: CJ Wolf
You almost got it. Tho "nursing" with a Guinness can be fun.
169 posted on 03/15/2005 6:37:03 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

When my drink starts talking, I make it a point to stop...</p>


170 posted on 03/15/2005 6:39:54 PM PST by mikrofon (Vodka Personality: You can see clear through them.)
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To: pissant
"Some traditional English sweet stouts, referred to as milk and cream stouts for the milk sugar (lactose) or whey added to the brew, were thought of as pick-me-ups for invalids and, as recently as the mid-1900s, were frequently recommended to nursing mothers by medical professionals."

Yes, nursing with a Guinness....

171 posted on 03/15/2005 6:41:09 PM PST by CJ Wolf
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To: CJ Wolf

You are correct. But Guinness is a "dry" stout, not a sweet stout (ie Mackeson's). So my theory on nursing carries the day. ;o)


172 posted on 03/15/2005 6:44:00 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: mikrofon

Willie Nelson said that, didn't he?


173 posted on 03/15/2005 6:44:53 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: CJ Wolf

BTW, put that awesome tagline back into your screen name. I was just gettin' used to it....


174 posted on 03/15/2005 6:47:39 PM PST by pissant (CJ Wolf rules)
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To: pissant
Too funny
175 posted on 03/15/2005 6:48:14 PM PST by shield (The Greatest Scientific Discoveries of the Century Reveal God!!!! by Dr. H. Ross, Astrophysicist)
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To: pissant

I can live with that!


176 posted on 03/15/2005 7:52:00 PM PST by CJ Wolf (pissant fan here.)
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To: pissant

Ice Cold Pilsner Urquel - man oh man - thats fine by me!


177 posted on 03/15/2005 9:42:31 PM PST by warsaw44
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To: pissant
Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Hmmm...I think a Long Beach falls into this category, but does under 30 qualify me as "older?" LOL I do cop to having picky taste and knowing what I want, though. But, I like to shoot pool, heh heh.

178 posted on 03/15/2005 11:20:10 PM PST by exnavychick
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To: Dashing Dasher; pissant
But... You posts usually start a gender attacking thread. We usually get into a "Boys are this and girls are that" finger pointing by post #75.

Also, that women are referred to on those types of threads as 'babes', 'chicks' or 'hotties', gets really annoying sometimes too. It's not to say some of pissant's "gender" threads aren't amusing. I can usually tell right away by the title of the thread whether or not I choose to check it out.

Just my opinion is all.

179 posted on 03/16/2005 5:53:24 AM PST by MotleyGirl70 (Rap is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.)
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To: warsaw44

Pilsner Urquell may be the finest lager on the planet. Tho there are a few german and other central european brands that give it stiff competition.


180 posted on 03/16/2005 6:33:34 AM PST by pissant (only 364 days to go)
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