***An Amazingly Poor Commercial: "The Villages"***

Stardate: 0501.26

[The Wizard]

So, I just want to share how NOT to do something with you all

In Central Florida a group is advertising a place called "The Villages" as a great place to live.....BUT

They don't tell you where it is, and when you call the number, even THEY don't know where it is.....

Now imagine all the money these fools paid to the ad agency to develop the ad and campaign, the money they paid to the stations to run the ad, and the phone company to answer the calls, and yet nowhere is the location of the "Villages" known.....

I don't know about anyone else, but when I find information hard to get there usually is a reason......the town the "Villages" is located near must be a dump......

[nuconvert]

LOL. I was being elusive.

[Lazamataz]

an opinion, not necessarily a fact

***An Amazingly Poor Opinion: "This Post"***

[Petronski]

Don't do a thing without the advice of Dr. Greg Cynamon.

[new cruelty]

See post 58

[martin_fierro]

[Lazamataz]

Sales 101 says that if you give too much info in the ad, the prospect has no reason to call. If there is no call, there is no prospect. This ad is likely aimed at collecting contact data from potential prospects for follow up by salespeople.

CLASSIFIED AD

SMALLISH THING FOR SALE
Something for sale, not sure what it 
is, could be an ocelot or maybe a copper
door knocker. Seems to be aging fast.
Doesn't bite, new in box. $4,500.00.
1-593-555-1122

[new cruelty]

Don't be so hard on yourself, Lazamataz... yours was a fine post.

[Lazamataz]

Don't be so hard on yourself, Lazamataz... yours was a fine post.

***An Amazingly Poor Person: "This Lazamataz"***

[JimRed]

ROFLMAO!

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

After you have your house built by the General, are we invited to the house warming party? We can get Lobster Gram to cater!! If you host a slumber party, we can get Pajama Gram in the mix as well!! I will be sure to order you some proflowers and a Vermont Teddy Bear for you house warming present.

[Sam's Army]

I'd urge anyone thinking of moving to Florida to reconsider, unless you are hot--or plan on opening a business that will employ me at a 7 figure salary with lots of time off.

[End Times Sentinel]

I appreciate your suggestion, Sam, but I think we all agree that Petronski is right:  Dr. Craig Cynamone should be consulted on this one.  Did you know he used to be a clinical technician, handing out good advices?

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

[new cruelty]

Well, we can all relax now. The real reviews are in...

The Villages

The West Middlesex Plebeian dishes - "Say Magnifeek. If you plan on visiting one retirement community this year, plan on visiting the Villages."

The West Nyack Evening Impaler pontificates - "Cheese and Pete, Gloria, it's bad enough I gotta work two 8 hour shifts, now I gotta put up with your crap about some dump in Florida? Lookit, God hates you and wants you to die at the Villages. So go already."

Mt. Olaf Community Library Annex Supplement declares - " Ishkabibble. The air conditioner in the Information Center sent chills up and down my spine!"

[HenryLeeII]

but with your cortislim lifestyle will you really need a kitchen or are you planning for when andy reid stops by during the off-season to meet with you and the missus to discuss your happiness in your new steel home since he'll probably want one to hold his everexpanding food collection and i'm sure he'll have questions such as if those steel structures will stand up to hurricane force winds because if i remember correctly florida is suscpetible to them and i would hate to see you lose your home AND your amazing collection of videotapes that we wont discuss but you're right dropping shawn hanitee's name at Ruth's Chris stakehouse will get you a prime table for a prime rib just as dropping bill clintons name at my local cigar emporium usually gets me a better deal!

[End Times Sentinel]

OMYGOD!!!  OMYGOD!!!  OMYGOD!!!  OMYGOD!!! 

 

I was just listening to Laura Ingraham and she told me that nine out of ten computers are infected with something called "spy ware"!!!  I thought that just using latex gloves when I'm on the net was enough protection, but she said it's not!  (I also made my own fire wall by tacking up a thermal blanket between the computer and the wall the cable comes out of).

 

So, anyways, I opened up the back of my computer (the box like thing, not the monitor.  The iT guys at work told me that's where the real work gets done) and I found this thing, kinda looks like a square spider with too many legs and says "intel".  I'm thinking intel = intelligence = spies.  That's gotta be it.  I'm going to jimmy it out and I'll let you guys know what happens.

Owl_Eagle

”Unleash the Hogs of Peace.”
P.J. O'Rourke Parliament of Whores

[HenryLeeII]

(I also made my own fire wall by tacking up a thermal blanket between the computer and the wall the cable comes out of).

thats why i have my entire computer wrapped in aluminum foil and lined my entire den in foil and i wear a foil uniform head to toe when i freep since i don't want them to know what i'm thinking especially that laura ingraham person because seems to know everything

[End Times Sentinel]

As long as I've got the back of the computer open, do you know where I can find the cookies?  I ate my pudding durring my morning break.

Owl_Eagle

”Unleash the Hogs of Peace.”
P.J. O'Rourke Parliament of Whores

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Watch out, I saw on the DUmmie Funnies yesterday that the Department of Defense is watching our transmissions. I am confused though, the only fire wall I knew of was in my car.

I guess I better go out and get some asbestos for my computer. Then if I get sick I can call Levy Phillips and Conigsburg. They are always telling my about mesothelioma and asbestosis while i am trying to listen to the radio.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Damn if I know where to find the cookies. They always track me down.

[HitmanLV]

Wow, "An Amazingly Poor Commercial" is an amazingly high standard, huh?