Posted on 10/28/2004 6:43:59 PM PDT by Sonar5
Hi all,
I need some help and I am fuming about this. Today an incident happened at my son's school that concerns me greatly.
He is in 4th Grade and is age nine. One of his friends brought a small pocket knife to school and allegedly showed it to my son and others at their lunch table. Apparently he did not open the blade, and quickly put it away. No one was threatened. They are all friends in scouts, church, or sports.
One of the other children after lunch, not mine, told a teacher about it. I get a phone call at about 1:15 stating my son was involved in an incident at school. I ask first is he ok, the administrator says yes.
She then explains that my son and others failed to tell an adult or teacher they saw someone else with a knife at school and that she questioned my son. I asked if he was threatened, and she replied no.
She stated the student who brought it would probably be expelled. I thought that was the end of it, since my son didn't bring the knife, no one was threatened, and my son, nor anyone else held it, nor was the blade even shown.
First off, these are 9 year olds. And I'm ok with the kid that told, and whatever happens to the kid that brought it happens. My son didn't feel it was serious.
My concern is the treatment of my son as having done something wrong.
My son got home about 3:40 or so, and I immediately asked him what happened, who was involved, was he threatened, did he or anyone else hold it, etc....
He then told me he was interrogated without my knowledge inside a closed room with only him and the administrator and talked to about what he did wrong by not telling an adult, asked questions, and the administrator was writing down the responses. Two other children who did not say anything were also subjected to this interrogation, seperately.
He and the two others were then pulled out of class before recess and during recess were taken to the office where they, without my knowledge were coerced into writing false statements stating they made bad choices by not telling an adult, and one other example of making a bad choice.
All three were told if they did not bring the form signed by a parent tomorrow, they would miss recess.
So, now my son is made out to have done something wrong. By the way, the administrator signed the form at the top.
My son was never advised of his rights to call us, and have us present, was never advised why he had to write the form, and we were never notified of the form until our son arrived home.
My son is in Scouting and considers a knife a tool, and knows the difference between showing something and getting threatened. He has also been trained in the proper use of a knife, a safety circle, etc... He knew what the student did was wrong, and he knew not to bring those types of items to school.
So what would you do.
We are not signing the form, and I talked to him about his rights, and the fact he did nothing wrong, the student who told did nothing wrong, the only one who did something wrong was the student who brought it, and the way he was treated.
I then went into explaining his rights to him, and about no longer answering any questions without us present.
So put yourself in my shoes, and ask what you would do. I felt the initial incident was no big deal, neither did my son at first. Now I feel my son and we as parents were violated in our rights, as well as our sons.
BTW - I tried calling the administrator who called earlier, and tried to tell her we were not returning the form, and we feel he shouldn't have to miss recess, and be punished, and she replied she didn't like my tone, and then stated the conversation is over, and hung up on me. Nice, huh?
Any help would be appreciated.
Regards, Sonar5
As others have already advised you, go with a private school if you can afford it. The public schools have been hijacked and commandeered by radicals of every sort. And they have one primary intention, to turn our children into carbon copies of themselves to spread their disease.
Come ON...this is a NINE YEAR OLD CHILD! How's he supposed to know all of the rules of the school? And even if he DID, (ha ha ha) do you REALLY expect a nine year old to remember???
Since he wasn't assaulted, or felt in danger...I can see this happening. It just was a friend, bringing something to school.
I was not particularly supporting him but he did say one thing I liked. Someone asked about weapons in school and he said something like: "The problem is not weapons, it is bad kids."
He then went on to mention that he carried a pocket knife every day of his 12 years of school.
Just remember the schools think the children are their property- not yours ( as if they were property at all).
Good luck and I hope your son's self esteem was not damaged by this reckless tactic.
BTW- If I were planning on leaving my children in that school I would insist on having an appointment with the Administrator and explaining to her that if she did not apologize to my child she would be speaking to my lawyer and a very large group of outraged parents at every school board meeting to come.
Tell her you won't give up until this addressed and she will not be able to avoid it. I would tell her that I would go door to door to gather parents if I had to.
Best of luck to you!
I agree with Behind Liberal Lines. I will only ask whether your son's forced statement will be part of his permanent record. If so, I would consult an attorney with experience in that area.
Otherwise, Dad (or Mom), you are over-reacting.
Apologize for what??
And, as far as your rights go, do you really want a situation where teachers and students can't discipline kids without calling in a parent? Again, had the student been charged criminally, or given a suspension, I could possibly see the need to call you in. However, for what, again, amounted to a "talking to," I just don't see the point.
I am going to recommend to my Governor we stop charging criminals so we can just keep them in confinement without worrying about trials.
I'd refuse to sign and tell the adminstrator you refuse to sign on the advice of legal counsel. This adminstrator must be a former KGB agent. Besides, one missed recess isn't going to hurt your son, the Good Lord knows I missed my share.
I'd have to quibble with that. Just write that the boy read about the Clinton problems and what happened to Linda Tripp, and others after they 'snitched' on a friend.
We've got ourselves a permissive, violent society, Columbine and many similar incidents, what do you expect the schools, who you're the first to blame, to do? The administrators overreact and justifiably so. They overreact to protect themselves against the kneejerk blame by the society that's lost its common sense (evidence: much of this thread.) Sign the damn form!
I think it's good that you did not sign the form. Keep trying to have a meeting with the administrator to discuss the issue.
I see nothing wrong with school officials talking to your child, they do have the right to discipline if they believe a rule had been violated. I think the concern here is what they had him sign, sounds like a coerced confession of some sort. Second, although I'm sure they would like for kids to rat out their friends, I'm not sure if he should be punished over that. If they don't like that he didn't turn states evidence, they could attempt to show him the error of his ways, but anything other than that is fascist. If they don't like your position on this issue, ask them what their school policy is regarding teachers notifying police of suspected illegal aliens in their school system.
Can you post the entire content of the "apology" they had your child sign? Did he write it or did they?
1.) Show up in person, tomorrow. You don't have to be aggressive, or hostile. Don't worry. My experience with administration is this: they are human. Well, by and large, they are liberals, but at least in terms of DNA, they are human. And frankly, they are always happy to know that a child has a concerned parent or two.
2.) Be sure you know exactly what your concerns are when you show up. Are you concerned that
a.) Your child was traumatized?
b.) Given a message you don't agree with? (knives are bad, telling adults is always good, what?)
c.) This will go on his "permanent record" (I wouldn't worry too much about this).
3.) Don't assume the school is out to "get" your child, on the other hand, don't let them intimidate you. Assume you both want what is best for your child (they really do want what's best, their error is usually in the "what is best" realm. They have good intentions.)
So what I'm saying is go in there with guns loaded, but don't shoot first and ask questions later. Know exactly what you're worried about, know exactly what outcome you hope for, and go in knowing that they mean well, but you might have to gently but firmly set them straight.
Having been involved of a sorta similar situation when I was 16(over 20 years ago), here is my advice.
There was a break-in in my school, the perps admitted it during a lunch session and I was at the table.
After they interviewed some folks, two people fingered me as "knowing the details". They knew the details too, but they clammed up and said "I won't say a word, but I know someone who knows".
Needless to say, a detective was in the room, I was "interviewed". I put that in quotes since it wasn't an interview. It was a coercion threat. Came at me, at 16 about like this "We know you know who broke into the school, if you don't tell us, right now, here, in the next few minutes, we're going to charge you with the crime, we're going to put you in Juvvy(sp) and essentially turn your world upside down".
Well, I sang like a chirping bird. It was only after I became an adult that I realized the breadth and width at which my rights were violated. My advice to you, is to tell your child this. If you are ever involved in a situation such as this, repeat the line "I must have my parents with me". Stick to it, no matter what. Don't admit anything, don't say anything, simply require your parents there. In that fashion, YOU, the parent can decide if he needs legal counsel. If I had not known the details in this situation, this detective could have wrecked my life. I could have been blamed for something I didn't know or do.
That's my advice. Shrug.
Precisely. Good analogy!
Homeschool or sue the administrator who questioned your son privately for harassment, intimidation, fearmongering, child abuse and whatever esle you can throw at them. Good luck.
Consider how you might view this situation if the item were a gun. Also, if your son's rights were violated by the school's not allowing him to have you present during the interrogation, this is where I would press the issue. But of course, you should always remember that your son's best interests must come before anything else.
"BTW - I tried calling the administrator who called earlier, and tried to tell her we were not returning the form, and we feel he shouldn't have to miss recess, and be punished, and she replied she didn't like my tone, and then stated the conversation is over, and hung up on me. Nice, huh? "
I had to deal with one like that 4 years ago. She was a real Bitch. Ended up having to go over her head in a private meeting. No adult is going to treat me like a child they administer in their fiefdom.
Blow her off and go to the next rung in the ladder. Be sure to let them know that if they treat you as she did then they'll be discussing the situation with your attorney.
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