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Promises Kept: Here Are The 9 Biggest Accomplishments Of The Republican Congress
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/28/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/29/2026 12:31:06 PM PST by DFG

Now over a year into the new congressional term and moving toward the midterms, the Republican-controlled U.S. Congress has been racking up one major victory after another. Don't believe it? Just look at the facts.

The Babylon Bee has the receipts with the following list of things the GOP has accomplished while in power:

1. Got Little Debbie Zebra Cakes added to the Capitol cafeteria: The far-reaching magnitude of this cannot be overstated.

2. Thought long and hard about doing something: They're not sure what it was, but they definitely considered it.

3. Added a cool light show to the Washington Monument: And it reportedly only cost American taxpayers $7 trillion.

4. Issued a record number of sternly worded letters: Shape up, or they'll send one to you, too.

5. Convinced Mike Johnson to try parting his hair on the other side: This required months of tough negotiation.

6. Released six heavily redacted pages of the Epstein files: They're serious about accountability.

7. Exempted the National Mall landscapers from all ICE operations: They can't afford to lose José and his crew.

8. Passed legislation to fund the federal government for the next 8 minutes: Isn't that amazing? Oh, wait, time's up, and the government is about to shut down again.

9. Lost the midterms earlier than any other Republican Congress in history: And that's saying something.

No one can say the GOP hasn't been getting things done. What else have Republicans accomplished while controlling both chambers of Congress for the last year? Add your thoughts in the comments.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: accomplishments; babylonbee; congress; gop; humor; republican; satire

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1 posted on 01/29/2026 12:31:06 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

When I saw a headline of promises kept by the Republican Congress, I knew it had to be the Bee.


2 posted on 01/29/2026 12:33:43 PM PST by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: Opinionated Blowhard

It may be the “Bee”.

However it does capture the spirit and lofty goals of the modern Republican Party.


3 posted on 01/29/2026 12:47:35 PM PST by sjmjax
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To: DFG

these creampuffs are why PDJT has had to try issuing Executive Orders (far beyond their intended purpose)
....
otherwise absolutely nothing at all would get done


4 posted on 01/29/2026 1:15:48 PM PST by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: DFG

It is the Bee, but maybe we’d be better off if Congress doesn’t do anything.


5 posted on 01/29/2026 1:54:24 PM PST by econjack
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