Posted on 12/04/2025 11:58:44 AM PST by DFG
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Amid national outrage over Somali immigrants in Minneapolis raping people all the time, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz held a press conference to assure concerned citizens that not all Somali rapists are bad people.
"I'm friends with a lot of Somali rapists, and they really aren't all bad," said Walz while prancing back and forth across the stage to the delight of his voters in the press. "Somali rapists are some of the nicest, smartest, most polite people I know, and many of them contribute to the economy somehow. Anyone who is prejudiced against them should be ashamed of himself or herself or theyself."
Walz's statement was interrupted by commotion in the crowd as a Somali rapist tried to rape someone.
"Ok, cut that out, this isn't the time or place," said Walz sternly. "Soomaali qurux badan baad tahay, dhaqankaaga qurxoonna waan ixtiraamayaa!"
Democrats admitted that while Somali rapists have caused some tensions among the local population, which is currently being raped, that rape was an important part of Somali culture and must be respected. "All cultures are equal," said Minneapolis DA Mary Moriarty to reporters. "I learned that in school."
At publishing time, thousands of Somali rapists were forced to leave the country to search for people they hadn't raped yet.
Dear FRiends,
We need your continuing support to keep FR funded. Your donations are our sole source of funding. No sugar daddies, no advertisers, no paid memberships, no commercial sales, no gimmicks, no tax subsidies. No spam, no pop-ups, no ad trackers.
If you enjoy using FR and agree it's a worthwhile endeavor, please consider making a contribution today:
Click here: to donate by Credit Card
Or here: to donate by PayPal
Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you very much and God bless you,
Jim
Satire slowly fading to news.
I know this is supposed to be satire, but that’s basically what Minnesota politicians, Waltz included, have said over the past few days.
They insisted rape, theft, and fraud are part of the Somalian culture.
He should have said “Klaatu Barada Nikto”.
Another Bee headline that is almost true. Just wait a few days.
‘They’re just trying to make money’
“not all Somali rapists are bad people.”
Thanks Tim. I do take note that not all Somali rapists are Somali
Jazz Hands is mad. People are riding by his home yelling Retard!
He says things “could get dangerous because Trump used the R word”
Yeah well, throwing Somali rapists out of our country is part of our culture and therefore must be respected.
THAT BASTARD NEEDS TO SIT WITH VICTIMS OF RAPE FOR A SOLID 4 WEEKS OR SO. NO TIME OUTS.
OOOOOPS
THE BEE GOT ME
I know it’s the Bee.
Still, I want em ALL gone. They can start with those nasty-arse samoli turds.
Tired of paying for this crap garbage... Kick em all out.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.