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Congress Reassures Nation Government Shutdown Will Not Affect Paychecks For Congress
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/23/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/23/2025 10:08:10 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid an ongoing government shutdown, members of the U.S. Congress reassured the American public on Thursday that the paychecks of the U.S. Congress would not be affected.

"A government shutdown can be a stressful time for everyone," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "But rest assured, we're still collecting our paychecks."

Senators and representatives on both sides of the aisle were quick to inform their constituents that Congress would still receive its pay despite the government shutdown. "I know WIC, EBT, housing assistance, disaster assistance, and federal student aid disbursements have all been delayed, but please don't worry about me," said Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "I'm still getting paid."

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said he was working very hard to get funding for illegal aliens to undergo expensive gender transition procedures and would not vote for the government to reopen unless Republicans agreed, but promised Americans that he would still be OK. "I'll soldier through," he said. "I still get a nice paycheck, and my Social Security check still comes in like clockwork."

"I'm going to be just fine. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers."

At publishing time, members of the U.S. Congress also assured Americans living in crime-ridden cities that their armed security would not be subject to the government shutdown.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
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1 posted on 10/23/2025 10:08:10 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Congress hasn’t passed a budget on time since 1996. They should lose 2 days pay for every day it’s late and lose all perks (postage, airline flights, etc) until it’s done


2 posted on 10/23/2025 10:22:56 AM PDT by millerph
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To: DFG

Republicans have power they will not exercise. I’m proud our President is using every executive method at his disposal.
Republicans are giving Dems an out with this vote and prolonging the shutdown.

Get. Rid. Of. The. Filibuster. Today.
Ram Trumps executive orders into law.
Then you will win the midterms and remain in power longer.
Johnson looks weak and whiny. Fight. Fight. Fight. Not “it’s not our fault. “

Nuclear Option. Just do it.


3 posted on 10/23/2025 10:45:28 AM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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To: DFG

This isn’t satire.

Politicians NEVER, and would never even dream of, depriving themselves.


4 posted on 10/23/2025 11:29:55 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: DFG
I'm sure they have plenty in the bank...and more likely than not...so do all the Federal Workers that are being furloughed.

The only group who might not have assets...is the newer soldiers that joined the military.

5 posted on 10/23/2025 12:32:35 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: DFG
Sadly, congressional paychecks are a non-issue.
When you look at their total yearly income from speaking fees, insider stock trading, book signing bonuses, questionable loans, campaign donations, etc. --- to actually withold their congressional salaries is really a small loss. Barely noticaable.

Go after the perks instead --- free mail, transportation, security details.

You, Mr/Ms congressperson, have a job to do, THE BUDGET. If you can't get it done, you should stay in the House/Senate building until you get it done. You're not a prisoner, but if you leave it's on your dime.

6 posted on 10/23/2025 1:32:38 PM PDT by ZOOKER
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To: DFG

Oh thank goodness, I was terrified.


7 posted on 10/23/2025 1:36:08 PM PDT by AppyPappy (They don't call you a Nazi because they think you are one. They do it to justify violence. )
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To: metmom

I was talking at a tailgate this weekend with a furloughed FEMA worker. He had worked Helene including our county. His parents demanded that he take money from them while he was out on furlough so he wouldn’t lose his savings. Luckily, they are loaded.


8 posted on 10/23/2025 1:42:27 PM PDT by AppyPappy (They don't call you a Nazi because they think you are one. They do it to justify violence. )
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To: DFG

Congress really needs to let the soldiers know that the people who send the soldiers into battle will keep getting paid.

Gots ta love the BEE!!


9 posted on 10/23/2025 2:56:30 PM PDT by Racketeer
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To: DFG

10 posted on 10/23/2025 9:27:04 PM PDT by MacNaughton
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To: All; MacNaughton

Yeah, is it really a “shutdown” if only 200K of 3 million fedgov employees are not working/furloughed (with back pay when they return).


11 posted on 10/23/2025 9:36:24 PM PDT by Drago
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