Hamas Rejects Deal To End Genocide After Learning It Would Require Them To Stop Killing Jews

Babylon Bee ^ | 09/30/2025 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

GAZA — Despite early reports that the Palestinian terrorist organization was open to accepting the terms of President Donald Trump's brokered peace plan, Hamas rejected the deal to end alleged genocide in the region after learning it would require them to stop killing Jews.

Trump's 20-point roadmap to peace initially seemed to be on the fast track to being approved by both Hamas and Israel shortly after he announced it, but hopes of a lasting end to hostilities were dashed when Hamas said they would not accept any deal that meant they would need to stop plotting and carrying out plans to murder more Jewish people.

"No can do," said Hamas spokesterrorist Qadir Ghazzawi. "While we would be open to speaking about terms to bring an end to this conflict, we find the requirement that we stop killing Jews non-negotiable. If President Trump would like to present a plan that would allow Hamas to survive while also retaining the opportunity to murder many, many Jews, we would take it under consideration. Thank you, Great Satan America, and death to Israel."

Sources within the U.S. State Department said any peace negotiations that include a prohibition on Hamas killing more Jews would be tough sledding. "It seems to be a real sticking point for them," one insider said. "While they talk a lot about wanting peace, they sure do love killing them some Jews. It's a real pickle."

At publishing, Hamas had reached out to representatives of the U.S. and Israeli governments to propose a scenario in which Israel stops all military operations while Hamas continues to come up with more ways to murder Jews.

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2true; babylonbee

[DesertRhino]

This is something Hamas and Palestinians would actually say. Getting hard to tell satire from reality these days.

[BB62]

The Bee - what an awesome site!

[MeanWestTexan]

I fully expect the offer to be rejected and this the real reason.

[1Old Pro]

This is what you call, an inside scoop.

[Uncle Miltie]

This is exactly what will happen in the next 48 hours.

[Twotone]

I expect them to accept the deal, & then start killing Jews again 48 hours later.

[Uncle Miltie]

A distinction without difference!

[equaviator]

It’s only somewhat amusing because it’s true.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

Of course, that’s the fun stuff.

[high info voter]

Well that’s their satanic religion. It goes back to Haman in the OT book of Esther!

[GOPJ]

I fully expect the offer to be rejected and this the real reason.

As insane as it should be, you're probably right... Now that I've experienced how much liberals hate conservatives the insanity of the middle east makes sense in a backward evil kind of way.

[FatherofFive]

I fully expect the offer to be rejected and this the real reason.

Killing Jews is required by the Koran and Hadith

[Retain Mike]

It does seem like these conversations are substantially in agreement with what I see from other sources. It is incredible that this sort of logic should have a hearing in so many venues

When Trump decided to move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem, the worldwide reaction had been predictably negative. Using various words, the media and world leaders proclaimed the peace process had been shattered. My reaction had been to ask where a peace process ever existed?

When I read a Charles Krauthammer’s article that the Palestinians did not want peace with Israel ever, I decided I was interested enough in the subject of Middle East peace to not just accept his premise. I wanted to see if I could actually confirm if his was a reasonable assertion. I started making notes and ended up with a 2,900 plus word narrative with 33 links covering the first 90 years of the twentieth century before feeling comfortable with his statement. Unless someone really wants it, I am not going to include the essay.

[equaviator]

The pattern is obvious. The genie is out of the bottle. There is no benefit of the doubt to be had or given. The allegations are supported by the facts. “Free Palestine” is the new “Allah hu akbar”. “By any means necessary” means exactly what it says.