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"Justice" in Minnesota [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 27 April 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/01/2025 10:26:56 AM PDT by John Semmens

Dylan Bryan Adams, one of Gov. Tim Walz's staff members, was observed doing $20,000 in damage to six Teslas. Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty says she will not seek criminal charges. "It really wouldn't be fair to Mr. Adams," Moriarty said. "First of all, his boss publicly praised the damage being done to Teslas because they are manufactured by Elon Musk's company. Musk is helping Trump destroy the country. While the Governor didn't expressly order Mr. Adams to join in this form of peaceful protest against a person the Governor hated, Mr. Adams can't be blamed for trying to please his boss."

"Second, Mr. Adams' active career as a public servant entitles him to a bit of leniency," Moriarty suggested. "Third, the fact that he confessed to the crime after being shown the videos of him keying the six cars shows character. At this point, there isn't anything more to be gained by punishing him further. The public humiliation of admitting to committing this crime alone is a lesson he won't soon forget."

In contrast, Moriarty is pressing felony charges against a 19-year-old Robbinsdale woman who allegedly keyed a coworker's Tesla, doing an estimated at $7,000 worth of damage. Moriarty explained "the two cases are starkly different. This woman does not work for Gov. Walz. Her crime seems more personally motivated and petty compared to Mr. Adams' noble political protest. She does not have a career in public service. I have no confidence that public humiliation alone would be a sufficient punishment to deter her from doing something similar in the future. I think some time incarcerated is necessary for her to learn a lesson."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; satire; tesla

1 posted on 05/01/2025 10:26:56 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
”This woman does not work for Gov. Walz….”

Pretty well says it all. This is a travesty, but the weak kneed GOP in this state will whimper and then go hide in the corner. Gov. Tampon Tim should be impeached for this, but I expect nothing will come of this. Move along comrades there is nothing to see here

2 posted on 05/01/2025 10:42:21 AM PDT by The Great RJ
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To: The Great RJ

The people of Hennepin County will keep electing this retard County attorney


3 posted on 05/01/2025 10:47:21 AM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: The Great RJ

She is so far out that even Keith Ellison, attorney general for Minnesota has criticized her.


4 posted on 05/01/2025 10:59:35 AM PDT by TexasGator (1.1'11.'11/'~~'111./.)
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To: John Semmens

“Second, Mr. Adams’ active career as a public servant entitles him to a bit of leniency,” Moriarty suggested


5 posted on 05/01/2025 11:02:17 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere)
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To: John Semmens
Yes, he was a DEMOCRAT. But that high frequency HUMMM you folks in Minnesota are hearing is HUBERT getting up to 2000 RPM in his grave!


6 posted on 05/01/2025 11:08:07 AM PDT by Dick Bachert (=)
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To: John Semmens

If the State won’t charge him, there should be a couple of Federal Charges that apply.


7 posted on 05/01/2025 2:56:41 PM PDT by cquiggy (Ck)
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To: cquiggy

The more I hear about these Democrat run states, the more I detest them. If they got smacked by justice in a place that really hurt, they still wouldn’t know what it was.


8 posted on 05/01/2025 4:48:16 PM PDT by oldtech
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