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Walz Pleased with Debate Performance [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 October 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/05/2024 9:07:21 AM PDT by John Semmens

Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) announced himself "pleased with the outcome of my vice-presidential candidate debate with Senator JD Vance (R-OH). I know some of the pundits figure he scored more points than I did, but I achieved my two key objectives."

"First, I believe my humble admission that I am a 'knucklehead' forged a strong bond with the majority of male voters across the nation," Walz boasted. "Most of the guys I served with in the National Guard were knuckleheads. Almost every guy's wife thinks he is a knucklehead. I am solidly within the ranks of the vast majority of American men as a fellow knucklehead. I think this message came through very clearly during the debate. These men will see that I am one of them and well-suited to represent their interests in government. This common bond helped me win six terms in Congress and two terms as governor of Minnesota."

"Second, my revelation that I am friends with school shooters lured Trump into a fatal campaign error," he continued. "Immediately following the debate Trump tried to mock me by posting a 'not friends with school shooters' meme on Truth Social. This exposed Trump for the callused and inhuman person he is. It is easy to hate a school shooter. However, no one is in greater need of a friend than someone who has killed a bunch of kids. By befriending these pariahs I have taken the moral high ground. The mothers of America will see and appreciate that and vote for the Harris/Walz ticket."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/369249-2024-10-05-semi-news-semi-satire-october-6-2024-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: knucklehead; postandrun; satire; schoolshooters; selfpromotion; trump

1 posted on 10/05/2024 9:07:21 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 10/05/2024 9:13:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

He is definitely the Rudolph of the misfit Minnesotians.No red nose needed to identify this fool.


3 posted on 10/05/2024 9:29:23 AM PDT by cnsmom
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To: John Semmens

Lol...... “my revelation that ‘I am friends with school shooters’ lured Trump into a fatal campaign error, exposing Trump for the callused and inhuman person he is. No one is in greater need of a friend than someone who has killed a bunch of kids. By befriending these pariahs I have taken the moral high ground. The mothers of America will appreciate that and vote for the Harris/Walz ticket.”


4 posted on 10/05/2024 9:30:37 AM PDT by Liz (Faith is believing what you cannot see; its reward is to see what you believe. St Augustine)
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To: John Semmens
"I am solidly within the ranks of the vast majority of American men as a fellow knucklehead."

No, you are a pedo and an idiot. The vast majority of American men are more like Vance.

5 posted on 10/05/2024 9:32:11 AM PDT by mikey_hates_everything
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To: John Semmens
This guy is total wack job. I guess he wants to be buds with the pet eating Haitians and become a captain in the MS13
6 posted on 10/05/2024 9:34:15 AM PDT by shadeaud (God gave us the free will and intelligence to choose right from wrong. Use it or lose it!D)
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To: shadeaud

I definitely would not want to take orders from that jackass or have him coaching my kids.


7 posted on 10/05/2024 9:50:41 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> --- )
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To: John Semmens

8 posted on 10/05/2024 10:27:55 AM PDT by plain talk
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To: All

Walz is infamous for his wild body language — jumping around on stage, flapping his arms — bowing and scraping to Harris for picking him. So much so, her handlers warned him to cool it.....he was overshadowing the candidate.

They even put him in cold storage for a time.

He has a disconcerting habit of jerking his around, as if he might do a 360 (as in The Exorcist).
His mobile face says more than the embarrassing mishmash of mangled English that came out of it.


9 posted on 10/05/2024 10:33:04 AM PDT by Liz (Faith is believing what you cannot see; its reward is to see what you believe. St Augustine)
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To: John Semmens

Egomaniac brags nobody listens.


10 posted on 10/05/2024 12:03:42 PM PDT by Vaduz
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