Posted on 08/06/2024 9:18:36 AM PDT by DFG
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following his selection as Kamala Harris' running mate, Minnesota governor Tim Walz has assured voters across the United States that, if elected, he will make America as great as Minneapolis.
According to reporters, Walz vowed to bring the rest of America to the same level of greatness as Minneapolis in his speech accepting the vice-presidential nomination.
"As the governor who presided over the looting and burning of Minneapolis during the summer of 2020, I have full confidence that I will be able to apply my experience stirring up race riots on the national scale as well as I have in my home state," Walz reportedly stated. "If I am elected vice-president, I solemnly swear to 'raze' every American city to Minneapolis' level of greatness."
Residents of Minneapolis were unavailable for comment, as most had already fled or taken cover in case Walz actually managed to become Vice President. However, Walz has received official endorsement from several prestigious entities, such as Hamas, the government of Somalia, and top Antifa leaders.
At publishing time, Walz had also vowed to oversee the cleaning up America's environment just like he had overseen the cleaning out of Twin Cities Targets, Auto Zones, and pharmacies during the summer of 2020.
Ya....let’s burn down all the police precincts and not charge anyone! Oh and when covid comes back he’ll block anyone from getting a doctor prescription again for Ivermectin!!
Is he a Used Car Salesman ?
Free abortions for every woman, up to and even after the moment of birth!
Dont ‘bee’ too hard on the guy. There is still time for the dems to change horses again. lol
The Bee has to stop reporting real news.
It’s too hard to keep up with what’s satire or not.
I guess she picked her uncle for VP
That guy is one year younger than me and looks like life roughed him up pretty good
We must be inclusive!
qualifications for Harris VP
1. actually will take the job.
most of the best choices didn’t want to be on the ticket and end their political careers after a November loss.
2 is old enough that their political career is already over
After the loss in November, they would have no future in politics.
3 dull enough that they won’t upstage the worst candidate in history.
Harris is such a bad candidate it was tough to find someone dull enough not to outshine her.
St Paul used to be Saul, but Walz is always going to be a nobody.
There are some democRAT states that are even pushing the baby murders up to 30 days after birth!!
Wow! Along with Ka-Mala looking to re-make America just like California ... sounds like a contest challenge between democrat/communists.
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