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Democrats Scramble To Find Replacement For Retiring Mitt Romney (satire but true)
Babylon Bee ^ | 9/13/23

Posted on 09/13/2023 1:16:58 PM PDT by cotton1706

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democratic Party was left scrambling for a replacement today, as long-time faithful Senator Mitt Romney of Utah announced he would not be seeking re-election.

"This is a huge blow for the Democratic Party," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "Romney has been one of our most reliable senators. He will be sorely missed."

Democrats have immediately begun searching for a replacement candidate, concerned that conservatives in Utah could flip the seat Republican. "Romney being able to carry Utah for the Democrats was an unbelievable windfall for the party," said analyst Chuck Todd. "It will be incredibly difficult to find another candidate who can win in such a deep red state while completely and utterly turning his back on the Republican party. It's like finding a unicorn."

According to sources in the Romney camp, the Senator plans to retire to the plains of Namibia to spend more time with his fellow rhinoceros family.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 09/13/2023 1:16:58 PM PDT by cotton1706
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To: cotton1706

Well there is one splitting the uprights.


2 posted on 09/13/2023 1:23:47 PM PDT by FlipWilson
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To: cotton1706

“Somebody give Jeff Flake a quick phone call.
Maybe it’s time for him to jump back into the action.
He may have gotten bored being Ambassador to Turkiye by now!”


3 posted on 09/13/2023 1:29:54 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: cotton1706

Poor Mitt. Smart and aggressive in business matters, he made a great deal of money in venture capital. Yet that talent never translated to political smarts. He will be remembered as a mediocre senator and a losing GOP nominee for president without a single idea or reform to his credit.


4 posted on 09/13/2023 1:34:38 PM PDT by Rockingham
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To: cotton1706

5 posted on 09/13/2023 1:37:57 PM PDT by McGruff (Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
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To: cotton1706

Romney only ran in order to be a thorn in the side of Trump, if Trump would have won in 2020, Romney would be finishing his 1st term as Senator at time Trump couldn’t run again.

Romney can into the Senate in 2018 and served his 6 years until 2024, if Trump got 2 terms Romney would have been there the entire time, being a pain in the ass.


6 posted on 09/13/2023 1:38:47 PM PDT by srmanuel
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To: Rockingham

I almost preferred The Obamination of Desolation to the Mormon.


7 posted on 09/13/2023 1:38:56 PM PDT by Fai Mao (Starve the beast and steal its food!)
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To: Rockingham

“He will be remembered as a mediocre senator and a losing GOP nominee for president without a single idea or reform to his credit.”

He’s a despicable creature just like his father. I live in MA and am sad to say I voted for him for Senator, Governor and President.


8 posted on 09/13/2023 1:39:45 PM PDT by cotton1706
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To: srmanuel

“Romney only ran in order to be a thorn in the side of Trump”

True, but also Orrin Hatch wanted to bequeath his seat to a liberal Republican. Otherwise, there would have been a conservative in the seat similar to Mike Lee. And they just couldn’t have that. But looks like there will be one anyway. The race will now be between Wilson and Staggs.


9 posted on 09/13/2023 1:41:41 PM PDT by cotton1706
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To: cotton1706

Who does Mike Lee like as a replacement?


10 posted on 09/13/2023 1:51:54 PM PDT by BigEdLB (Let’s go Brandon!)
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To: McGruff

Muttley!!!!!


11 posted on 09/13/2023 1:52:37 PM PDT by BigEdLB (Let’s go Brandon!)
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To: BigEdLB

“Who does Mike Lee like as a replacement?”

I imagine he’ll get behind Staggs.


12 posted on 09/13/2023 1:53:14 PM PDT by cotton1706
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To: cotton1706

Mayor of a Salt Lake suburb... got it


13 posted on 09/13/2023 1:56:21 PM PDT by BigEdLB (Let’s go Brandon!)
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To: cotton1706

You mean the Dems aren’t going to be happy with Egg McMuffin as a substitute Romney?


14 posted on 09/13/2023 2:18:42 PM PDT by Boogieman
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To: cotton1706

Just replace democrat with uniparty ajd it can run as real news in any paper.


15 posted on 09/13/2023 2:47:49 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: cotton1706
Let no one forget that ObamaCare is RomneyCare with a different cover page.

Romney is a globalist socialist who needs to be exiled to Toryland.

16 posted on 09/13/2023 3:32:08 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: cotton1706

I would t be surprised if Chris Chrissy goes house hunting in Utah


17 posted on 09/13/2023 4:07:29 PM PDT by NWFree (Sigma male 🤪)
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To: cotton1706
I would not put it past Mitt to run for president as an Independent just to spite and steal votes from Trump?

Also, I would not put it past democrat fronts to fund Mitt's run as an Independent?

18 posted on 09/13/2023 4:19:26 PM PDT by JesusIsLord
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To: cotton1706

The manspot is mormon...give him a call


19 posted on 09/13/2023 8:51:53 PM PDT by OL Hickory (Jesus and the American soldier-1 died for your soul/1 died for your freedom)
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