Posted on 07/20/2023 3:39:53 PM PDT by DFG
U.S. — In an attempt to avoid further injury and traumatic incidents involving Caucasians eating food that's far too spicy for them, the scientists behind the Scoville Scale have announced they are releasing a separate spiciness scale for white people.
"We had to do something to save all those white folks," said Dr. Glenn Jacobs, lead researcher on the Scoville team. "We've been inundated with reports of white people suffering severe injuries while attempting to impress other people by ingesting foods that rank near the top of the scale. This new scale will likely save countless lives."
The Scoville Scale, originally developed in 1912 by a pharmacist searching for a heat-producing ointment, measures the intensity of heat in different foods, such as peppers and hot sauces. The scale has gone through numerous updates over the years as new breeds of peppers and spicier foods have been created. "It became clear that a new whites-specific scale was necessary," said Dr. Jacobs. "While a very minute percentage of Caucasians can tolerate truly spicy food, we found a startling number of white people who think Heinz ketchup is too spicy. Something needed to be done to address this."
The new Scoville Scale for White Folks (which is its official title), features a heat scale that begins with mayonnaise and works its way up to the (according to many whites) blistering heat of Taco Bell's "mild" sauce.
At publishing time, obstacles in the rollout of the new scale were already arising, as several Caucasian test subjects were left red-faced and sweating after eating a single Cool Ranch Dorito.
My buddy is what I call a chile mad scientist. He’s given me some stuff he grows, such as the Lemon Ghostly Jalapeno and the Goronong from Malaysia. I’m just trying them out.
I’ve adopted this rule when cooking for others with peppers:
Divide by 8 (whatever heat is in the ingredients) and serve with several options for table seasoning/spike (salt, black pepper, cayenne and my Red Savina grinder).
Exception, of course, to those with like tolerance for heat.
I’m Scots Irish (’n Spanish ‘n neandethal). My Ethiopian girlfriend had to bring my up to speed. Slowly. Gradually. One increasingly Berbere (the real stuff, not domestic crap) infused dish after another. But now jalapeños are like celery to me, and Ghost Peppers...still working on it. Just takes some training.
Babylon Bee may be funny, but I’ve had Camarones a la Diabla before. Basically shrimp in a hot and spicy sauce. Very spicy, but I ate the whole thing anyway.
I’m 1/16 American Indian*, but I might as well be 100% White with my pale skin that burns at the slightest hint of direct sunlight.
*Yes, I said it that way. Sue me.
Now that’s just plain funny
Lol, for a second…
That’s called mental illness.
In London, I stopped by a typical Chinese takeout place that could've been in Anywhere, USA and ordered the same curry chicken I order here. First bite absolutely floored me! A whole different level of spice.
"Ya'll gotta try a little of this!"
This is my wife!
LOL !!! That’s freaking funny stuff, Thanks for the Linkey.
I have a bottle of that along with Dave’s Ghost pepper sauce. Of course, I also grow Reapers, Ghosts and Scorpions in my patio.
I think you should try and market Anal Prolapse. People would buy it just for the name.
I’m thinking of selling a pre workout of caffeine, magnesium and creatine, called Mad Shitz.
The z makes it hardcore.
“I have a bottle of that along with Dave’s Ghost pepper sauce. Of course, I also grow Reapers, Ghosts and Scorpions in my patio.”
Nice. At one time I had 200 hot pepper plants in the yard, Bhut Jolokia, Devil’s Tongue, Red Savina but my favorite was always cayenne just for eating raw.
The hottest ones I’d dry and grind to powder.
I always loved how the Dave’s bottle said it was good for stripping driveway tar. :D
My wife is one of those white people - she orders the mildest sauce at the wing place and complains it’s too spicy.
I’m OK with a little heat, but can’t tolerate anything hotter than a habanero. The ghost pepper and reaper folks scare me - stomachs must be lined with stainless steel.
thats it!
Thats funny. Im as white as you can get and I have yet to have a hot sauce or pepper that destroys me, all the way through the novelty capsaicin extracts like; The Bomb, Steve O’s hot sauce for your butthole, etc. I use the “Hot Ones XXX” on almost everything, Ed Currie made such a delicious and balanced sauce that respects the flavors of the pepper fruit, but provides excellent heat, especially when use in cooking rather than a condiment. I am also of a huge fan of a local brand. Silagey, every heat level, but respect for the fruit itself. You can buy their products online if you are interested.
I just did a hotwing challenge with some coworkers, we called it “plain to insane”, it was 16 boneless wings, from plain to pure capsaicin extract, plus add the sauce to the bathed and baked wings. Only 4 of us made it past level 8, by round 11 there were three, level 14 just two, Matt and I finished all 16. It was a fun challenge...until the next morning.
When I did professional BBQ, I had a customer on prime rib night ask if I had any sauce less spicy than ketchup, I gave her a condiment cup with water in it.
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