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Teens Terrorize Neighborhoods [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 July 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/01/2023 2:18:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

As warmer weather has come to Chicago, groups of hundreds of teens have been rampaging through various neighborhoods vandalizing property, stealing from businesses, and assaulting people on the streets. This week it was Lakeview's turn. One woman who called police was told the police couldn't help. Video from a local TV station showed teens jumping on cars and raiding businesses while Chicago Police officers stood by watching. While hundreds of crimes were committed, the police made only two arrests.

44th Ward Alderman Bennett Lawson blamed the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) for "not doing enough to keep the teens from using the CTA as a means of transportation for their violent, destructive gatherings."

A spokesman for CTA rejected blame and pointed the finger at the Chicago Police Department (CPD), saying "there just aren't enough cops to enforce even a minimum level of safety on the trains. Maybe if more neighborhoods get a taste of what's happening on a daily basis on the trains it will spur the CPD into a more aggressive effort to control crime."

A spokesman for the CPD blamed the Mayor.

Mayor Brandon Johnson scolded residents and the media for "demonizing these youths. These incidents are unfortunate, but more arrests are not the answer. These young people are legitimately aggrieved by this country's legacy of slavery. If we could give each of them a few million dollars in reparations maybe we could convert them into law-abiding citizens."

Meanwhile, Michigan's House of Representatives passed a hate speech bill (HB 4474) that criminalizes causing someone to feel threatened by words. Rep. Noah Arbit (D-district 20) asserted that "words can do more damage than sticks and stones. We want everyone to consider whether the things they might say to another person, especially persons in the protected class of LGBTQ, that could hurt that person's feelings. To help provide a meaningful incentive, our bill prescribes punishment of a fine up to $10,000 and up to five years in prison."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/346157-2023-07-01-semi-news-semi-satire-july-2-2023-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; postandrun; racism; satire; selfpromotion

1 posted on 07/01/2023 2:18:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 07/01/2023 2:19:56 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Thanks. đź‘Ť


3 posted on 07/01/2023 2:28:14 AM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF Captain & pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: John Semmens

Great piece, John. The sad part is… your satire brushes right up to the truth!


4 posted on 07/01/2023 2:49:23 AM PDT by ScottinVA
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To: John Semmens
Tragedy takes center stage for a brief interlude...
Biden CONFUSES the Constitution with the Declaration of Independence

5 posted on 07/01/2023 3:03:44 AM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: John Semmens

This is what democrat useful idiots voted for. I certainly will not help these idiots.


6 posted on 07/01/2023 4:02:21 AM PDT by joma89 (Buy weapons and ammo, folks, and have the will to use them.)
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To: John Semmens

“Teens” 🙄


7 posted on 07/01/2023 6:25:50 AM PDT by Sicon ("All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - G. Orwell>)
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