Posted on 02/07/2017 11:17:02 AM PST by rhett october
Though it’s often a complaint we hear from a wife that her husband won’t talk, we often receive a request for help from a husband who says, “My wife won’t talk to me.”
It’s all over the realm of possibilities in terms of what this means. Sometimes the husband means that his wife won’t talk to him other than small talk.
In other words, the two don’t seem to “have much to talk about” as people say.
This is a typical complaint from a spouse or an agreeing couple. We’ve been largely taught to believe that if we aren’t in constant conversation and dialogue with our spouse that something is terribly wrong. That we aren’t close enough or that the person not talking doesn’t care enough about us or that our marriage is broken in some other way. Nonsense.
(Excerpt) Read more at marriageradio.com ...
It might sound trivial, but this issue was really making my wife feel like we were broken or something.
Maybe she would like for you to quit blogging and get a real job.
Sometimes my husband and I can travel an hour at a time and never say anything. Other times we talk like magpies. It just means we are comfortable in each other’s presence anyway.
Does yelling count?*
*To be clear, this is a reference to my first marriage of 20+ years. My second, of 18+ is amazing. We talk with each other every day almost like we just met. When we drive, we mostly talk about driving. All the way from central KY to Chicago to see the grandkids.
We have an understanding, though. We both know that just having the other person in the house with you changes everything for the positive, even if we never say a word.
It must be a woman thing.
My girlfriend gets like that. The two of us can be sitting on the couch watching TV or a movie. Later she’ll get moody and grumpy.
After many times of being answered “nothing” when I asked what was wrong, she finally and begrudgingly told me she was hurt because I wasn’t talking to her.
Uhhh.... we were watching a movie. That SHE turned on!!!
Guys, if you want to have some sort of individual control of your own life, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!!!!!
“My wife won’t talk to me.”
Translation: my wife and I have a terrible sex life.
Right. That’s what I have started thinking. But it seems like something had programmed my wife to think that if there were “silence gaps,” that it was a sign we didn’t love each other or something. She recognizes that it’s not true now, but there still seems to be this pressure to talk when it’s silent to “show” or demonstrate we have some deep connection.
You should start losing your hearing like I have and then you will ask your wife at least a hundred times a day, “What did you say sweetheart?” or if you’re both watching tv, “What did he/she say?..
I’ve never had to talk to my so much ever, it’s not that bad...
I hate to interrupt her.
Could be a curse or a blessing.
Men and women are different. When women are lost in thought, they’re probably thinking about relationships.
When men are thinking about something, perhaps women think we’re dissecting some relationship or something, but typically we’re just thinking about how to plan for or accomplish some task on our mental to-do list.
I know nothing of your particular situation, but my woman’s intuition tells me what your wife really means is that there is something related to your marital relationship that she wants to talk to you about, but she does not know how to approach it.
We women just take a very circuitous route sometimes. It’s frustrating to men, I know, but that is how we are.
Oh, SNAP!
Exactly. One of the best signs of a strong relationship is that the husband and wife don’t need to be chattering to each other all the time. They can enjoy periods of just being with each other without talking.
Bwahaha!
A friend of mine went through that sort of thing and ended up in counseling with his wife. She saw the first counseling session as her chance to talk, so she began unloading with criticisms and complaints from when they met in college. After several minutes of this and not being allowed to say anything back as the rules of the counselor specified, my friend got up and announced that he was going outside for a smoke and to let him know when his wife got up to anything in the last year or two. That of course caused an uproar and, after another session or two, the counselor recommended that they get divorced, which they did.
Sometimes there’s just nothing to say.
Sometimes “anything you say can and will be used against you.”
Which it is matters.
Hey...it happens. I’ve been married for 30 years and have had to explain to my wife on occasion that most people are uncomfortable with silence. I am not. I don’t eschew conversation, but I’ve been chided because occasionally I don’t join in. Well...50% of conversation is listening and if I have nothing to add or offer, I listen more.
[[but typically we’re just thinking about how to plan for or accomplish some task on our mental to-do list.]]
Wha? Wha? What? All I’m thinking about is what’s on TV later that evening, and what I’m gonna have for dinner- Well ok, I think about smurfs too, and maybe ice cream, but not much more than that- no sense risking a brain ache
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