Obama Rejects Idea that Women Should Arm Themselves [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

When a rape victim queried President Obama at his recent town hall meeting to promote his latest set of executive actions impeding acquisition of firearms by law-abiding citizens he rejected her notion that having a gun for her own protection was her best option.

"I'm sorry you were raped," the President told Kimberly Corban, "but fortunately you weren't killed. Most rape victims are not killed. If we allow you to have a weapon, though, the risk of someone getting killed jumps up to an unacceptable level. You acknowledge that your assailant was unarmed. You both came away from the encounter alive and without life-threatening injuries. I call that a 'win-win' outcome compared to what might have happened if you had pulled a gun to try to prevent the rape."

Corban, who has struggled with depression, PTSD and stress-related seizures since she was raped was neither persuaded nor mollified by the President's response or his reasoning. "The restrictions President Obama is adding make it harder for me to own a gun or harder for me to take that where I need to be is actually just making my kids and I less safe," she asserted. "His fear that I might accidentally shoot myself or, as he put it, 'unjustly impose a death penalty on my attacker' conveys a total lack of sympathy or understanding."

In related news, MSNBC decided not to do an interview with Juanita Broaddrick, a woman who says Bill Clinton raped her in 1978, "because, as it turns out it's just old news. The alleged rape took place nearly 40 years ago. The statute of limitations expired long ago," said network spokesman Moe Lester. "Even though it is candidate Hillary Clinton's position that 'every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported,' we do not believe the current campaign should be diverted from more pressing issues by listening to an aged rape victim's accusations."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/189785-2016-01-15-semi-news-semi-satire-january-17-2016-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Rashputin]

Barry don't want hiz boyz gettin’ shot just because they're horny and can't find a goat, ya’ know ?

[SWAMPSNIPER]

[Bon mots]

[Slyfox]

I seem to remember a democrat, in response to the issue of rape, saying that a woman should just lay back and enjoy it.

Can't remember who said it.

[MuttTheHoople]

seem to remember a democrat, in response to the issue of rape, saying that a woman should just lay back and enjoy it.

As we've learned from bill clinton, Ted Kennedy, Chris Dodd, Terry bean, Daniel Inouye, Gus Savage, et. al., if you're getting raped by a Democrat, just lay back and enjoy it.

[UCANSEE2]

I just don’t understand why your articles are not published in MSM. They are just as ‘true’ as anything we see, read, or hear from them.

[UCANSEE2]

Can't remember who said it.

I can't either. But I do remember how to spell GOOGLE. : )

Tory councillor tells meeting: 'When rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it'

[Jonah Hex]

My gods, Number 6 in drag!

[joshua c]

The Secret Service has standing orders not to fire if Obama is just being raped.

Thought I would add to the satire.

[Slyfox]

"But I used a term that I had heard years ago without thinking. It was totally dreadful. it was done without thinking about the rape bit. I know that sounds silly."

She probably heard it from an American demoncrap.

[Safetgiver]

Beautiful. Moe Lester.

[UCANSEE2]

Wow. Good eye.

[UCANSEE2]

OR Bill Cosby.

[JoeFromSidney]

It was quoted as a Chinese saying in a story written by Robert Heinlein back in the 1950s. I don't feel like looking up the title now.

[Seaplaner]

Another fine, scary, and historically semi-accurate column John!

.

[Springman]

Bath house Barry just bends over and enjoys.