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4 Huge Mistakes I Made As A Wife (I'm The Ex-Wife Now)
Hunffington Post ^ | 12/29/14 | Sloane Bradshaw

Posted on 12/29/2014 6:38:35 PM PST by Kartographer

Because obviously being a lying, cheating, family abandon-er trumps anything I did to our marriage in the past decade. Right?

Wrong.

I deflected any and all culpability in the failure of my marriage for months, holding on to the picture I painted of myself as the gentle, selfless and long-suffering wife. It wasn't until I found a therapist who called me out on my bullsh*t that I was forced to take a long, hard look at my shortcomings.

It wasn't pretty.

Here's what I now know actually screwed up my marriage. May it serve as a warning to you. Before it's too late.

(Excerpt) Read more at huffingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: sexism; stupidpeople
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To: dead

She needs Christ really bad.


21 posted on 12/29/2014 7:15:31 PM PST by SkyPilot ("I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6)
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To: Kartographer
I talked smack to my girlfriends, my mom, my co-workers. All. The. Time. “Can you believe he didn’t do this?” and “Why in God’s name did he do THAT?”

One of the things I teach my kids is to not, under any circumstances tolerate constant criticism. Either the partner handles it subtly or they need to be traded in and replaced. If they can't or don't stop, it's a horrific sign of misery to come. You can't have a relationship where one partner doesn't respect the other.

At the same time I've had to explain, there are simply some people who cannot relate to others outside of an actual conflict, especially if that's what they saw and experienced with their parents while growing up. My advice when they identify that scenario is "RUN..."

22 posted on 12/29/2014 7:16:38 PM PST by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Kartographer
Sadly, many women today are programmed to be entitled, ball-busting b!tches. Of course many guys are jerks, but IMHO the problem comes from two opposite ends -- nobody teaches guys how to be men, but society very efficiently teaches women how to be shrews.

Stuff like this makes me think maybe I'd better keep flying solo.

23 posted on 12/29/2014 7:19:14 PM PST by Wyrd bið ful aræd (Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo et mundabor, Lavabis me, et super nivem dealbabor.)
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To: SkyPilot

Is that really YOU, Skypilot?? You are absolutely beautiful!


24 posted on 12/29/2014 7:22:19 PM PST by Ken522
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To: Kartographer

Did Kate Gosselin write that piece?


25 posted on 12/29/2014 7:22:22 PM PST by tflabo (Truth or tyranny, dontchyaknow.)
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To: Kartographer
Marry an Asian girl, problem solved.


26 posted on 12/29/2014 7:24:03 PM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: G Larry

Calling out such behavior doesn’t work. You’re wrong, you see. Always. Make and win the point? then the argument is about something completely different, for which you are completely wrong about too.
Many of you have never experienced such a “discussion”, no grasp of emotional abuse.


27 posted on 12/29/2014 7:25:04 PM PST by ctdonath2 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: Kartographer
I wish you had one to the original location for that article, “YourTango.com”

I despise supporting HuffPo.

Don't worry, anyone. HuffPo still continues to be a filled cesspool.

28 posted on 12/29/2014 7:30:58 PM PST by ConservativeMind ("Humane" = "Don't pen up pets or eat meat, but allow infanticide, abortion, and euthanasia.")
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To: ConservativeMind

But face it the fact that HuffPo posted it is a story into itself.


29 posted on 12/29/2014 7:32:18 PM PST by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: ctdonath2

I’ve been told I’m using a word incorrectly... look it up, prove I’m using it correctly, then I get told I’m an ass for looking it up.

/if you can’t win, you quit playing


30 posted on 12/29/2014 7:36:19 PM PST by ro_dreaming (Chesterton, 'Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. ItÂ’s been found hard and not tried')
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To: Kartographer

Mens Rules

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what the hell they’re saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

1. I’m in shape. ROUND is a shape.


31 posted on 12/29/2014 7:40:16 PM PST by umgud (I couldn't understand why the ball kept getting bigger......... then it hit me.)
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To: Kartographer

WOW.... This is my brother’s marriage....


32 posted on 12/29/2014 7:43:14 PM PST by Volunteer (Though I know that the hypnotized never lie, do ya? - The Who)
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To: Kartographer

“...I had zero respect for him...”

I heard the other day (can’t remember where, maybe it was here even) that the Bible says a man must love his wife and a woman must respect her husband, so this leaped out at me.

This woman makes herself sound like a real b*tch, that must have been painful to write.

An honest piece, I admire her for putting it out there like that.


33 posted on 12/29/2014 7:45:09 PM PST by jocon307
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To: GraceG
One of my friends has/had a wife that si very much like this “B*tch”...

Especially when it came to her and her parents, specifically her mom...

My late father-in-law was a great guy, an earnest, straight talker who knew and respected family boundaries. He was also the force that held back his wife from meddling in his daughter's marriage. After he passed, my mother-in-law became a very corrosive influence on my wife.

The best thing I ever did was take a job offer that moved us far away from the old witch. If not for that, I'm sure I would have been divorced long ago.

34 posted on 12/29/2014 7:46:28 PM PST by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: Volunteer
"WOW.... This is my brother’s marriage...."

Please send him my condolences.
35 posted on 12/29/2014 7:46:47 PM PST by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: Diana in Wisconsin
I’m much preferring my current status of, ‘Independently Owned and Operated.

You don't sum up "conservative" much better than that!

36 posted on 12/29/2014 7:47:03 PM PST by llevrok (I fear the US government more than I do al Qaeda)
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To: CrazyIvan

“Play Misty For Me”

I really have to watch that movie again. I saw it on TV years ago and it was terrifying. And it’s astonishing to think that a macho guy like Clint Eastwood could be terrorized by a woman, yet it worked. But I gotta watch it again, but not alone!


37 posted on 12/29/2014 7:48:32 PM PST by jocon307
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To: Kartographer
And in the bedroom -- yup, you guessed it -- he was doing that all wrong too, and I wasn't shy about telling him so.

If you want to drive a man away (and into the arms of another woman) do THIS.

38 posted on 12/29/2014 7:48:40 PM PST by PGR88
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To: central_va

I don’t know....I read that “Tiger Mom” piece that ran a while back. That dame made this one seem like mother Theresa in comparison!


39 posted on 12/29/2014 7:50:11 PM PST by jocon307
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To: Kartographer
I didn't marry until I was almost 30. WHAT a huge difference that made. My husband was 34. Neither of us had been married before and my sister, who worked with my husband, introduced us. HAD to succeed. It did. She vetted him thoroughly.
Both of them are gone now. I like to think that they are both in heaven watching over me.
40 posted on 12/29/2014 7:52:10 PM PST by cloudmountain
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