Posted on 09/12/2014 4:17:59 PM PDT by John Semmens
While a key part of President Obama's strategy to combat ISIL involves arming supposed enemies of that organization, a program that has previously been roundly criticized is now being bandied about as "prescient" and "visionary" by Attorney General Eric Holder. The program: "Fast and Furious."
"What the President's critics have lambasted as wrongheaded and improvident is starting to look pretty good now that ISIL has vowed to infiltrate the United States via our southern border," Holder bragged. "The Mexican drug cartels are very territorial about what crosses over this border. They won't be too friendly toward ISIL actions that may threaten their smuggling profits."
Holder hailed "the toughness of these people. As we have seen they are every bit as vicious as the thugs running ISIL. They have murdered hundreds—many by beheading. And with the huge volume of firearms we have helped them acquire they are well-prepared to defend their perceived turf against these ISIL interlopers."
Jennifer Lasley, a senior official in the Department of Homeland Security's intelligence and analysis office concurred in Holder's take on the issue. "These Mexican gangs are scary. Setting them up to be our first line of defense against potential ISIL infiltration was a stroke of genius that the Administration won't get enough credit for."
It's possible, though, that ISIL might use a portion of its profits from sale of oil from the wells it seized in Iraq to bribe the cartels for a truce and passage through their border fiefdoms. Should this occur, Holder vowed that "we will put our heads together to try to come up with a 'plan B.'"
In related news, Rep. Eddie Johnson (D-Tex) argues that "the beheading of those journalists doesn't warrant the war President Obama now seems eager to initiate. That was only two guys. As many or more are murdered every week in the President's home town. So, is he going to launch air strikes against the gangs that are terrorizing the streets of Chicago? Aren't they more dangerous to more Americans than ISIS?"
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/162881-2014-09-12-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-september-14-2014.htm
There's something so ... so ... sociopathic about men like Holder who are enthralled with violent criminals.
lol
The logical perfection of your “related news” item resonates all too true.
Thank God... it’s satire... missed that because it felt so possible...
My guess is the cartel members would probably be able to switch to muzzie, at least outwardly.
I know that it’s hard with this administration but you had me going for a minute. This MIGHT actually exceed something that I would naturally expect of them. Well done!
“The Mexican drug cartels are very territorial about what crosses over this border. They won’t be too friendly toward ISIL actions that may threaten their smuggling profits.” Holder hailed “the toughness of these people. As we have seen they are every bit as vicious as the thugs running ISIL.
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This man plans to help ISIS enlist drug cartels. He is a sociopath. He is a hater and he will be instrumental in the downfall of the country, I am afraid.
You got me. Unfortunately close to the truth these days.
We’re surrounded by ace-holes.
If there’s a level of absurdity needed to make these headlines easily identifiable as satire, you haven’t reached it yet. I fall for these headlines EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
Strange days.
Their choice is limited. There are not too many major religions that gladly embrace killers and torturers just as they are, without all that ancient "sin no more" stuff.
Cartels and ISIS are both members of Carroll Quigley's The Pakistani-Peruvian Axis.
I was concerned too... then realized it was satire. Waaaay to close to the truth but still satire. These are scary times Chickensoup... I’m not surprised we both fell for it...
Well, the principle is sound. Sell arms to both sides, sell them high tech gear that enables each group to detect the other, and propagandize the hell out of both groups. Then break out the popcorn when they do what comes naturally.
Holder has gone off his rocker. He is insane.
Ok. A joke.
However, it sounds like something Holder would say and do.
I knew this was satire, but.... I really wouldn’t put it past Holder, I really wouldn’t, and it’s a perfectly analogous.
Good one.
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