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DUmmie FUnnies 10-25-13 (KOmmies Pray to Blue Fairy to Fix ObamaCare Website)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 25, 2013 | KOmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/25/2013 12:35:11 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Please Blue Fairy. I beg of you to fix the ObamaCare website by the end of November or we will all look like complete fools. Please Blue Fairy. Those EVIL Rightwingers will laugh at us now and forever unto the end of time if the ObamaCare website is not fixed. Blue Fairy, wave your magic wand and make it all better for us. Blue Fairy, wave your magic wand and stop the ObamaCare Death Spiral. Blue Fairy, wave your magic wand and let me just wake up and find out this whole ObamaCare fiasco is just a silly nightmare. Please Blue Fairy. Blue Fairy, can you hear me?

And now the Blue Fairy for KOmmies turns out to be Jeffrey Zients who has promised to wave his magic wand and fix the ObamaCare website by the end of November. Sorry, Jeffrey, even if that website with its outdated 2003 software, is somehow magically fixed by Turkey Day, it will still be a turkey. Most experts have stated the website must be fixed by Nov. 1 or it goes into an ObamaCare Death Cycle. And with 5 million lines of code to fix, good luck with that. Those in the know say the old crappy billion dollar software must be removed and replaced with new software. However, the KOmmies continue to place their faith in the Blue Fairy to magically make things right as you can see in this THREAD, "HealthCare.gov expected to be 'running smoothly' by the end of November." So let us now watch the KOmmies pray to the Blue Fairy to save them from eternal ObamaCare mockery in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the Liberal Eye of Sauron is in the process of tumbling down as a result of liberals grasping for their Precioussssss ObamaCare, is in the [brackets]:

HealthCare.gov expected to be 'running smoothly' by the end of November

[Blue Fairy Jeffrey Zients made that promise.]

The punch list for fixing HealthCare.gov has been identified and the fixes to have the system "running smoothly" will be done by the end of November, according to Josh Zeints, the former Office of Management and Budget official President Obama has put in charge of fixing the website. These developments were announced in a conference call the administration held with reporters Friday.

[Actually his name is JEFFREY Zients so you are probably praying to the wrong Blue Fairy.]

When asked on the conference call exactly who had advised the administration on its assessment, officials would not reveal names. Another question is what exactly the administration means by "running smoothly." Officials declined to give too many specifics on that question, as well. [...]

[They mean you will be able to see the ObamaCare chick and that your personal information will be quickly forwarded to Nigeria.]

Still, the assessment Zients gave over the phone was more candid and detailed than any public accounts administration officials had given previously. He acknowledged, for example, that high volume was one source of trouble for the site—but only one of many. He also explained that the site had two separate series of problems. One group consists of “performance problems”—the issues consumers have encountered, like seeing error messages, delays, and crashes. The other group consists of “functional” issues, which are “bugs” that prevent software from working the way it’s supposed to work. An example of this would be the erroneous data reports that healthcare.gov (like some of the state-run exchanges) have been delivering to insurance companies. Zeints said that problem was at the top of a “punch list” of tasks that need to get done.

[At the top of his punch list is to punch out the idiot who thought it was a great idea to pay a billion bucks for 2003 software.]

Getting the system running before the end of November, if not sooner, is critical. People have to purchase insurance by Dec. 15 if they want their coverage to start on Jan. 1. That's millions of the uninsured in the 36 state relying on the federal exchange. Zeints said that HHS has already completed a number of fixes that have increased the performance of the site, allowing about 90 percent of would-be customers to create accounts.

[Oh, they can create accounts but beyond that thees website comes crashing down. And now on to the KOmmies fervently praying to the Blue Fairy for an ObamaCare website fix...]

Well there's a deadline that has the potential to backfire on the administration.

[Did I say a month? I really meant 30 Business Days.]

Failure is not an option

[Not an option but a likelihood.]

If the Obama Administration is to "blame" for anything, it's willingness to bend over backwards to try to work with Republicans. Even the ACA itself is a compromise! And they hired a private contractor (who donated mostly to REPUBLICANS last year!) because we just can't have too much "big guv'mint" involved. Oh, and let's not forget why this web site is so critical in the first place: Republicans succeeded in getting 36 states to actively sabotage the ACA by refusing to set up their own exchanges! It still amazes me that ACA has been able to work as well as it has despite all the G-O-TEA sabotage attempts. It's one reason why my respect for the President has grown in the past four years.

[Not one Republican voted for ObamaCare but now that it doesn't work, its all their fault.]

A lot of us who voted for Obama are embarassed about this too. They shou/ld have MANAGED expectations before the rollout saying that some glitches are going to be expected with the shortened timelines. They should have reduced scope of the intial rollout too.

[They should have listened to Ted Cruz and reduced the scope to zero.]

why isn't Obama leading?

[And cut back on his golf time? Silly question.]

It would be unfortunate if the Dems were to shoot themselves in the foot by not having their proverbial sh*t together on setting up the ACA website.

[Yeah, I'll cry me a river when that happens.]

how is he so certain that it will be fixed by Thanksgiving?

[Tinkerbell whispered that info into the Blue Fairy's ear.]

Just imagine how the Republicans will feel when millions of Americans are signing up on the Obamacare exchanges.

[Yup that will definitely be happening in the Alternate Universe.]

Try to remember the end of November when sites worked right and folks were mellow...

[It sounds like you are making a parody song proposal for Charles.]

I have considerable experience with the management of large software development projects. Based on what I've read to date I would suggest that it is highly unlikely that the website will be running smoothly for many months. The kind of problems that are arising now should have been exposed thru testing at least several months ago. Unfortunately if I'm right then the 'end of November" will just become another trigger to flog the Obama administration.

[Killjoy! Strike that heretic down with your magic wand, Blue Fairy.]

I hope this is true...

[The Blue Fairy requires that you sacrifice your sanity before granting your wish.]

In that Tinkerbell world they live in I'm sure the gop truly believes that the way to get this healthcare initiative to fail-----is just a matter of REALLY believing---and clapping REALLY hard!

[No. All we have to do is watch you KOmmies and laugh at in your Blue Fairy world begging for the ObamaCare website to finally work.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: jeffreyzients; kommies; obamacare
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To: PJ-Comix
This is why you don't smoke a 1/4 lb. blunt when you write code as you will see the Blue Fairy! Trust me I've seen some strange shit but not the Blue Fairy.
41 posted on 10/25/2013 1:52:25 PM PDT by lostboy61 (Lock and Load and stand your ground!)
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To: PJ-Comix
how is he so certain that it will be fixed by Thanksgiving?

Shhhh little darlin'... Don't worry your pretty little head about it, that's just the same kind of promise as all the rest he's given you.

It only exists in the moment, and Thanksgiving is a long time away. He will make many other promises between now and then, and by Thanksgiving you will have forgotten all about them... now pass the bong, dahling.

42 posted on 10/25/2013 2:02:31 PM PDT by Kenton
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To: PJ-Comix
Try to remember the end of November when sites worked right and folks were mellow...

[It sounds like you are making a parody song proposal for Charles.]
"The Fantasticks" (from which the referenced song Try To Remember derives) ran for 42 years, in part by keeping costs low and consumers happy. "The ObamaCare" won't be online for years and will have the opposite result.

Try to think over the kind of October ...

43 posted on 10/25/2013 2:33:28 PM PDT by pogo101
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To: MeshugeMikey

Always fun to laugh at the Dummies.

“Imagine how Republicans will feel when millions are signing up for Obamacare!”

Well, I guess we’ll never know, huh? But we do know how Republicans will feel when tens of people are signing up. Our sides are splitting.


44 posted on 10/25/2013 2:55:14 PM PDT by Viennacon
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To: PJ-Comix

FYI, bruh.

Crimea River: http://www.bing.com/maps/?FORM=Z9LH2#Y3A9MjkuNzcwNDIwfi05NS40MTA1ODMmbHZsPTQmc3R5PXImcT1jcmltZWFuJTI1MjByaXZlcg==


45 posted on 10/25/2013 3:33:52 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Those in the know say the old crappy billion dollar software must be removed and replaced with new CRAPPY billion dollar software.

Fixed it.


46 posted on 10/25/2013 5:39:26 PM PDT by Newtoidaho
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To: PJ-Comix; franksolich; mikrofon; Roscoe Karns

"Obamacare website needs fixing? That sounds like a job for . . . ME, Elad, Techno-DUmmie Extraordinaire!"

47 posted on 10/25/2013 6:47:41 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Elad to the rescue!)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Failure is not an option "

It is standard equipment.

48 posted on 10/25/2013 7:32:16 PM PDT by HangThemHigh (Entropy's not what it used to be.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I do believe you're on to something, CH ...

49 posted on 10/25/2013 7:37:34 PM PDT by mikrofon (Did someone call for THE BLUE FAIRY ??)
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To: pogo101; PJ-Comix
Try to remember the end of November when sites worked right and folks were mellow...

[It sounds like you are making a parody song proposal for Charles.]

Your glitch is my command!

TRY TO REMEMBER THE END OF NOVEMBER
Tune: "Try to Remember"

Try to remember the end of November
When sites run smooth and not so scary
Sign up and send 'er, we'll make you a member
When healthcare's free--oh, please, Blue Fairy!

Try to remember to not lose your temper
When we're a big spender yet glitches tarry
Decide on your gender, we'll find you a vendor
Signed, Barry (Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry . . .)

50 posted on 10/25/2013 8:41:38 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: PJ-Comix

At this point, I’m not sure if the Blue Fairy is even capable of rearranging the deck chairs....


51 posted on 10/25/2013 8:42:40 PM PDT by FDNYRHEROES (It's 3 AM. Let me sleep on it. I'll get back to you in 16 hours.)
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To: NeoCaveman; PJ-Comix; mikrofon; Roscoe Karns
The Glitch is back

Miss Glitch (who is not in Kansas anymore) IS the Blue Fairy who will fix all things. She is now Kathy, the Good Witch of the Glitch, and she is working on the fix as we speak.

52 posted on 10/26/2013 6:16:34 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (For the Great and Powerful Obozo.)
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To: PJ-Comix
If the Obama Administration is to "blame" for anything, it's willingness to bend over backwards to try to work with Republicans. Even the ACA itself is a compromise! And they hired a private contractor (who donated mostly to REPUBLICANS last year!) because we just can't have too much "big guv'mint" involved.

I spewed Diet Coke on that line. And isn't CGI a CANADIAN firm?? How are THEY contributing to Republicans?

53 posted on 10/27/2013 7:44:18 PM PDT by Purrcival (Four more years of OBAMA??????????? I hope this country can survive.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I have considerable experience with the management of large software development projects. Based on what I've read to date I would suggest that it is highly unlikely that the website will be running smoothly for many months. The kind of problems that are arising now should have been exposed thru testing at least several months ago. Unfortunately if I'm right then the 'end of November" will just become another trigger to flog the Obama administration.

LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!! Or kewpie doll recipient?

54 posted on 10/27/2013 7:47:01 PM PDT by Purrcival (Four more years of OBAMA??????????? I hope this country can survive.)
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