Posted on 02/01/2011 5:17:54 PM PST by freejohn
The only purpose that I have in posting this is to let the younger freepers know something that took me .. until now, to learn.
First, a little background.
I joined the army in 1969, went to jump school, joined the rangers and then .. got drunk, got stoned and went on to win a purple heart on my first tour.
I became 'self-important' as a ranger. Didn't think that the world would notice what I was Really doing/becoming.
The stories that a lot of you have seen in movies and on tv shows .. like M.A.S.H are true. I spent most of my two tours of duty as a drunk and pot head.
Came out of nam, went to school and eventually got a career in the airlines as a career pilot.
From 74 until 78 I was literally "Flying High". Great career, Great wife and a new daughter on the way.
Only problem was .. I WAS flying high. (Don't worry, I was only the flight engineer)
Long story short .. I was fired from Delta, lost all of my friends, lost my wife and lost my newly born little girl.
After all of that, I became a homeless drunk.
Here's the kick in the ass.
EVERY TIME I drank, which was Every day, I wanted to "Steal" something!
Something inside me WANTED to Steal something .. something, small or large .. it didn't matter!
I spent YEARS in different penitentiaries because I was a drunk and .. a thief and apparently .. a Very bad thief.
My life after and between imprisonment was one low end job after another.
I lost EVERY job I ever had because of my drinking.
Well, one day I got a job .. (Not too long ago), doing something that I enjoyed and which paid 'good money'.
I met a wonderful lady and .. I Finally had a life!
After seven years .. You guessed it .. I got caught .. drinking on the job.
All of this time, I was able to hide my past life from my lady.
I only tell you this because .. it all caught up to me.
After applying to Wal-Mart for 'another' job, after losing my 'dream job' .. I received a letter in the mail from an investigative services agency that represented Wal-Mart .. OUTLINING EVERYTHING that was in my past.
My Lady found and read it.
Tonight, I sit here, unemployed for over two years now and my Lady no longer trusts me.
My Lady is 70 years old, has to work to support us and I .. well I am a 59 year old former drunk, former thief who just wants it all to end.
For you youngins .. It just isn't worth the cost of the next bottle .. to end your life as an embarrassment, like I have.
To the rest of you .. Thank You for allowing me this moment.
Some 10 years sober here. Worth every second of it.
How beautiful of you to share your wisdom and experience with others.
Welcome to Free Republic.
Jesus saves.
Hope you hang in there,,,even if you made some mistakes.
Prove to your wife you can be trusted from now on.
Recommend the movie ‘fireproof’ that you can watch together.
There is another reason you posted.
Joel 2:25 “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten.”
This is a promise. And you have helped others with your story.
God Bless you.
ping
Alcohol is the cause of much joy and much sorrow in the world.
Good luck, freejohn, it ain't over 'til it's over and you're only 59.
Dry yourself out, pick yourself up and try again.
Just keep doing what you know is right, one day at a time.
It will get better. It won’t be perfect (it never will be for anyone, ever). But it will get better.
Hope others heed your advice. And I hope you will forgive yourself because God will. Just ask Him.
Your life is not over. You have hit bottom, but you can only go up from here. Reach down for that strength that got you through your military training and pray, pray, pray. You can do it. I will pray for you.
Prayers for you, dude.
I’d suggest that “ending it all” would be a bad idea. It doesn’t solve a damned thing and just makes things harder for those you leave behind.
It sounds like you know doggone well what you need to do to get yourself back on track so quit screwing around feeling sorry for yourself and making excuses.
Get to a meeting.
Pray, keep on trying, and don’t give up.
The fact that you made this confession is proof that you are ready for your old life to end and a new one to start. The Creator cares for and will help you be whole, if you will ask Him and surrender your will to His.
All posts to this point - #1 through #6, are giving you excellent advice. You will find many friends here and we’re glad you’re here and also that we’re here to lend an ear.
God bless you..He will never let you down..
Thanks for your service and thanks for your turn around in life.
I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. I pray that you can get some help and put your life back together. It’s never too late. God is standing by your side and waiting to hear from you.
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