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DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-09 ("I just don't know what to say about the conjunction of Jupiter/Neptune/")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 1, 2009 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/01/2009 6:05:11 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

I'm baaaack...and I promise more frequent DUFU editions for the next few weeks but I was busy in the latter part of May. Okay, enough with the excuses. My favorite DUmmie cave to visit for easy laughs has always been their astrology group. Why? Because they take this Aquarian stuff sooooo seriously as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "I just don't know what to say about the conjunction of Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron." The thread title alone has caused the tune "Age of Aquarius" to ring in my head. So let us now watch the DUmmies overanalyze astrological conjunctions in Bolshevik red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering where the hell Chiron came from, is in the [brackets]:

I just don't know what to say about the conjunction of Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron

[It has me at quite a loss of words as well.]

I covered this story in my latest newsletter. I saw it coming 1.5 years ago. Jupiter, Neptune, and Chiron will all be within 1/4 of a degree on May 25. This has never happened before and has enormous implications. I've read some astrologers who had a negative bent on this; my bent has been very positive. I think it will largely be "an optimistic spiritual turning point to the collective mind" planetarily. This is because it is happening in the universal sign at 26 Aquarius.

[You're bent? So is Ben Burch. This is where the negative bent of Uranus comes into play.]

Now, we don't know what to go on, and we have to speculate. I'm sure it will have its negative consequences too. Hard to tell what and I don't want to spread fear around.

But

many people are calling me
sensitive people are feeling it
many are stating it like "new emotional urges are rising up from within"

[Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight]

I don't know what to say other than DON'T SMOTHER IT. Let it up and out. If you get real emotional, do it.
DON'T over analyze these next two weeks either. Feel it. It will last all summer too, but the closest the triad (stellium) will be is on May 25.

[End of the world on May 25? Ooooh! I'm scared!]

I'd love to hear from all of you as to what you are experiencing.
Yes, this is on the heels of Pluto in Capricorn.
Yes, this is on the heels of Saturn opposite Uranus.
Yet, this is big all by itsel

[Saturn is opposite Uranus? I sort of thought a full moon was facing Uranus.]

At their basis, all planets are GOOD energies. Look for massively new inspiration now. Don't poo poo it, it's as real as can be. Your feelings? Intuitions?

[My feelings? Time for a Heaven's Gate reunion.]

p.s. As was stated earlier.
1. this will have great implications in the house in your chart containing 26 Aquarius
2. this will have special significance if you have planets from aroung 20 Aquarius into the early degrees of Pisces.
and 20 Leo into early Virgo.
and 20 Scorpio into early Sag.
and 20 Taurus into early Gemini.

[and 20 Sag into early Uranus. And now for intense astrological analysis from the rest of the DUmmies...]

Care to guess what it means for me? My natal mars is at 25 degrees 44 Aquarius; my sun is 5 Gemini and Mercury is 4 Gemini; my Pluto is 26 Leo (same for a lot of people born in the mid to late 1950s). Also, my birthday is May 26, almost exactly the same day as the conjunction. As for what I'm feeling, I've received some insights into my life and emotions over the past couple of weeks. However, I've been very blue the last couple of days.

[We need to know your natal Uranus for a full anal-ysis.]

Since your Natal Mars in Aquarius is opposite Pluto in Leo, this is one big deal for you. It will have strong sexual and emotional/intimacy issues at the heart. When we put your Gemini Sun on the ascendant, your Mars emanates from the 9th house (Solar). This means that you are going through a huge turning point as far as your philosophy of intimacy. Typical Geminis are game for anything, but now, you're going to start getting pickier.

[Is that you, Professor Irwin Corey?]

I don't think I experienced a long period of inequality with the opposite sex. However, I think I'm getting over the masculine idea of success; success in this culture has been measured in terms of accomplishments, achievements, money. I thought I resisted the paradigm but looking back I realize I bought into it hook, line and sinker. The collapse of the economy made me realize the extent to which I had bought into it.

[Collapse of the economy? You-Know-Who recently said the government has run out of money because they already spent it all.]

I have Moon, Jupiter, Neptune conjunct in the 8th and I rather like it. In fact it's going to be trined by the Chiron, Jupiter, Neptune transit.

[Ben Burch would love to trine Uranus.]

I was born July 28, 1960 at 2:25 in the afternoon in Seattle, WA. The Astrodientst text looks like this:

Planetary positions
planet sign degree motion
Sun Leo 5°48'20 in house 9 direct
Moon Libra 4°09'55 in house 10 direct
Mercury Cancer 20°01'44 in house 8 direct
Venus Leo 15°48'43 in house 9 direct
Mars Taurus 27°09'16 in house 7 direct
Jupiter Sagittarius 24°34'14 in house 2 retrograde
Saturn Capricorn 13°35'31 in house 2 retrograde
Uranus Leo 20°24'19 in house 9 direct
Neptune Scorpio 6°23'44 in house 12 direct
Pluto Virgo 4°51'26 in house 9 direct
True Node Virgo 16°03'22 in house 10 direct

[Sorry. Impossible to give you an accurate reading because Uranus Leo is off by a tenth of a degree in house 9 direct. Back to square one.]

Sun 26 Aqu conj Jupiter 24 Aqu in 3rd H as part of Grand Air Tine w/Uranus & Saturn. The Grand Trine also forms a Kite if one considers the North Node, which is opposite Saturn & Conjunct Galactic Center {!!!}, aspect worthy. This astrological newbie is leaning towards accepting North Node the Kite because it is cool

[We await the English translation of that post.]

Individuation seems to be my personal theme right now and some primal gunk has been rising up. Chiron's help I expect w/Neptune's dreamy lassitude clarified by Jupiter's jovial potency burning off the illusions that hide how much work is left to be done. Right now that is manifesting as the strong urge to get organized, something of a shock to this procrastining contented to be a bit of a mess around the house person. When it comes to cleanliness regarding sanitation and anything germy I am considered the family paranoid* but other stuff like leaving freshly purchased canned goods in the bag on the cupboard for a few days doesn't bother me.

[Primal gunk rising up? Insert Ben Burch joke here...]

It's almost exactly opposite my Uranus and ...just a few degrees away from my Chiron.

[And I can guess just just WHO is almost exactly opposite Uranus.]

The Triple Conjunction falls almost exactly on my Ninth House Cusp. At 26 Aquarius 44, the Astrologer's Degree. I've been asked to do two readings within the past week - a first for me.

[I once saw a Triple Conjunction performed at a circus trapeze act.]

This stellium landing right on the cusp of your 9th is a MAJOR symbol of new, encourage, soul-searching and philosophical growth. TIme for a long distance trip too. Hard for you to get away with your sun/moon/asc.

[When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars]

We’ve now recently entered a Pluto retrograde from 4th April. Pluto retrogrades are all about death, rebirth and transformation. This is best time for shadow work, leading to transformational growth. This was also the best time for your articles “The Great Awakening” series.

[This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!]

The trine to VEnus is wonderful, just wonderful for relationships of all kinds. The opp. to Jup/Pl will cause you to really start to look to "His will" and away from your own. You'll sense more and more that you are in fact a part of a much bigger picture. Your natal Saturn hasn't got a chance against this kind of power. Be flexible and responsible, that's how you handle Saturn

[Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius!
Aquarius!]

Hi, My North Node is at 24deg. Aquarius, and aquarius is in my 5th house. Is that significant?

[When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars]

My Neptune is in Scorpio in the eighth conjunct the north node, closely trine Chiron (which is conjunct Sun/Saturn/Asc and opposed Uran/Pluto) in Pisces, inconjunct Jupiter in Gemini at the IC. It's hard to sort out the Nept/Jup/Chiron influence because there's so much going on. But I think it partly has to do with stimulating our wounds around our ideals of justice, in order to heal them, on both a personal and macro level (as above/so below).

[This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!]

Even my daily I Ching castings are pretty damned good this week.

[Yeah but have you checked your chicken entrails lately?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: astrology; dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
Planaterialy speaking...... this is just so much Barbara Streistand.
21 posted on 06/01/2009 6:35:36 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix
Hi, My North Node is at 24deg. Aquarius, and aquarius is in my 5th house. Is that significant?

Only if you're facing South, and there are only 4 houses on your block...

Oh, good grief. This is absurd. These people are incapable of having a rational thought. I couldn't read every post. It's just too stupid. No wonder these people rely on government for their welfare. They're incapable of providing their own.

22 posted on 06/01/2009 6:36:16 AM PDT by bcsco (I'm a Constitution defender!)
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To: bcsco

I have worked with folks like this. They *feeeeeeeel* their way through life. They rarely employ rational thought in their decisions (especially major life decisions). Folks like this decide what to eat for lunch based on the “vibrations” of crystal amulets. I am not kidding.


23 posted on 06/01/2009 6:42:02 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: PJ-Comix

Interesting how DU is always making fun of religious people for being irrational. There’s some quote that says that when man stops believing in God, he won’t believe in nothing. He will believe in anything.


24 posted on 06/01/2009 6:44:02 AM PDT by Our man in washington
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To: PJ-Comix
Thanks PJ, I “feel” significantly more dumber after reading this.....Gobblygook!
25 posted on 06/01/2009 6:50:03 AM PDT by graywaiter (Sure you can trust the government.......just ask any Cherokee)
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To: Mercat
Roaisha (or something

I think I get that on my arms in the summer sometimes.

26 posted on 06/01/2009 6:53:18 AM PDT by tnlibertarian
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To: Army Air Corps
Folks like this decide what to eat for lunch based on the “vibrations” of crystal amulets. I am not kidding.

Oh, I'm sure you're not kidding. And I suspect there's more 'crystal' involved than in their amulets...

This reminds me of the clairvoyants. They BELIEVEEEEEE! But I don't recall ever seeing a car parked outside one of their 'shops', even though the 'open' sign is lit. I'd think that if they were so clairvoyant, they'd know they wouldn't be getting the business...

27 posted on 06/01/2009 6:54:49 AM PDT by bcsco (I'm a Constitution defender!)
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To: Mercat
You mean with long lank pony tail balding on top?

The comic book shop owner from "The Simpsons" comes to mind.

28 posted on 06/01/2009 7:15:55 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (E.J. Dionne: "Make the World Safe for Tax Increases")
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To: PJ-Comix
I just don't know what to say about the conjunction of Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron

I do.
I'm a Nigerian Banker whose inherited $45,000,000.00 but need help getting my money out of the country. I found YOU by checking and double checking my Natal Astrology tables.

If you help me I will give you 20% of the money for your time and effort. But I need to trust you first. So if you could send me your Bank account and Bank routing number I'll first transfer $500.00 into your account for proof that your account is real and you will help me. After that clears, I'll deposit the remaining $8,999,500.00 as soon as possible.

May the Moon be in your 7th House and Jupiter rise with Mars.

Best wishes oh wise one,
Mbekee Mukumbo
President, National Bank of Nigeria

29 posted on 06/01/2009 7:26:32 AM PDT by Condor51 (The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits)
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To: PJ-Comix

How do these people get through a day? Seriously.


30 posted on 06/01/2009 7:39:10 AM PDT by Personal Responsibility (Control the teleprompter, control the agenda!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Cocaine is a helluva drug.


31 posted on 06/01/2009 7:51:22 AM PDT by envisio (Sexual Beer & BBQ Ribs)
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To: PJ-Comix
You're bent? So is Ben Burch.

And if the reports given to Ken Starr are true, so is Clinton's Johnson!

32 posted on 06/01/2009 7:51:46 AM PDT by MindBender26 (The Hellfire Missile is one of the wonderful ways God shows us he loves American Soldiers & Marines)
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To: PJ-Comix

It has affected my ability to urinate


33 posted on 06/01/2009 7:55:20 AM PDT by woofie
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To: PJ-Comix

Hi, P-J!

Dollars to doughnuts these are the same people who think Christianity is a superstition.

The ex-husband of a friend of mine mocked church-going as being based on a fable. A few months later he was trying to convince us how numerology had secrets to your personality and talents. When he remarried, it was in a Buddhist (sort of) wedding.

And this was in the heart of the Midwest, not California. These types seem to be everywhere.


34 posted on 06/01/2009 8:32:51 AM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: PJ-Comix

My eyes glazed over the red type, I think after the 2nd line. The only thing worse than reading this is hearing it — which, unfortunately, I do, every day on the train. I live in New York, so I’m surrounded by these kind of people.


35 posted on 06/01/2009 8:43:40 AM PDT by MoochPooch (I'm a compassionate cynic.)
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To: Army Air Corps

One hot afternoon I had trudged up the steps to the top of the Kahokia Indian mound site across the river from St.Louis. There was a guy holding a nice big crystal to his forehead and his eyes were closed. I suppose he thought we was channeling ancient Indian spirits.

I asked him if the Cardinals were still losing to the Pirates.

They don’t have any sense of humor at all...


36 posted on 06/01/2009 8:49:56 AM PDT by listenhillary (90% of our problems could be resolved with a government 10% of the size it is now.)
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To: listenhillary

Bwahahaha!


37 posted on 06/01/2009 8:55:59 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: PJ-Comix

Isn’t a “chiron” (sp?) something having to do with a telestrator or similar electronic equipment?

Would that then make this planetoid the ruling body for TOTUS?


38 posted on 06/01/2009 9:27:06 AM PDT by mikrofon (Conjunction Junction)
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To: PJ-Comix

The horrifying thing is, these creatures are allowed to vote...........


39 posted on 06/01/2009 9:55:39 AM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: bcsco
facing south

I don't know who's in my fifth house. I do know who's in my one house. I've got these damned mice who refuse to stay the hell out. Maybe an astrologer can help. Yeah, that's the ticket.

40 posted on 06/01/2009 10:27:56 AM PDT by driftless2 (four)
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