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DUmmie FUnnies 10-01-08 ("Anybody here have pre-birth memories?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 1, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/01/2008 10:32:53 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

For some reason I am sort of "politicked out" today. Therefore I went to my tried and true DUmmie Astrology forum to find some non-political flat out NUts thread to DUFU. I was not disappointed as you can see from this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Anybody here have pre-birth memories?" You know what I call someone who claims to have pre-birth memories besides being flat out NUts? I call them a liar. And the DUmmies are both. The very earliest memory your correspondent has is when he was three years old and living at Geneva-On-The-Lake in Ohio. Yes, my very first memory in life is of the waves of Lake Erie lashing up upon the shore. I was tossing a beachball into the air while yelling, "Herbie! Herbie!" Herbie being a chubby young companion of mine at the time. I wish I could tell you of the in-depth conversations Herbie and I had discussing politics and philosophy but that is the sum total of my memory of that time. But the DUmmies are somehow on a higher plane in their own minds so some of them claim they have pre-birth memories. You know what? I'm GLAD I don't have pre-birth memories. One thing I don't want to remember is floating inside a womb for month to month bored out of my mind. No TV. No computer. No nothing. Just darkness and the occasional hand shove by someone in the outer world to see if I was there. Yeah, I was there and thankfully I have NO memory of it. So let us now watch the DUmmies as they discuss their pre-birth memories in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there is life after birth, is in the [brackets]:

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

[Wouldn't that sort of be an argument against abortion?]

Not many people talk about it. I have memories from the time before we chose our bodies this time around and planning certain events. Anybody else?

[You want me to believe that Helen Thomas had a choice of bodies? Ha!]

Have you ever read "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton?

[No but I'll mark it down as New Age bilge that I have no interest in reading.]

Tell us about your prebirth memories. I don't have any and would love to hear about yours.

[Month 1: Utter darkness. Month 2 thru 8: Utter darkness. Month 9: Utter darkness...no wait! I see some light at the end of the tunnel!]

They are a little hard to describe

but basically I remember being light with no body, just a concentration of light energy. The place we were in, (there were lots of us) was very bright and we were planning our lives. It was almost like a game. We, (the close friends that I would spend this life with) were planning specific events that we would experience together, choosing our parents and such. Even some of the beings that were to be my pets were there. That was part of why they were coming back as another animal, so that I would take care of them.

[What kind of poker were you playing while you waited around? Holdem or draw?]

The best way I can describe the planning is that it was like a simulator where we would see certain things play out and then we would get information like, "this is going to really hurt or you are going to find this a real challenge. It seemed strange at the time but the answer was that once we got to this place, that emotions would be involved and that would make things more difficult.

[Becoming a DUmmie is really going to hurt.]

I also remember each of us going off by ourselves with some guide to plan some individual things, some happy, some tragic or frightening. I also remember that we could merge and become one with a larger light and just become a part of it. And then I remember going into the body before I was born and then parts of actually being born.

[Too bad for the ones that got aborted. No sweetness and light for them.]

My mom was actually shocked when, as a little kid, I kept telling her about this dream I had of a room with steel and these green tile on the walls. And being cold and these people carrying me around. She confirmed it was the room I was born in.

[Lucky you that the room didn't have a sign saying: "Abortion Clinic."]

Anyway, that's about it. It's been with me as long as I can remember

[Thanx for sharing...I think.]

I totally believe you, and this is the coolest damn post I've ever read! Thanks for sharing this. It made my day.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

I really wanted to share it because I've only ever told a couple of friends, and haven't heard much discussion about it. I know other people must have experienced it too, as one of the other posts confirmed.

[Somehow I don't think NARAL wants to hear about your pre-birth memories.]

Can you go into any more detail? Anything else you remember?

[What was the Dow Jones average at on the other side?]

Just really random things...like the planning of certain events. I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

[Your confinement to the rubber room is yet to happen.]

All I can remember is the actual birth process. That it was as painful for me as my Mom. I recall going down in a dark tunnel, and being welcomed by a bright light, then getting my butt slapped and screaming. I was born in a boarding house in N.Y. State. I have memories of the house as a toddler, like learning how to get down the circular wood staircase on my butt !! Wish I could remember as much as you. Maybe I could with regression.

[Do you remember the "body sculpting" performed upon your tiny talleywhacker? That's another early memory that I don't miss.]

Wait, you remember going into your body before you were born? I always thought incarnation took place when the human body took its first breath.

[That is more in line with NARAL doctrine.]

I have very fond memories, and at the age of 4 wanted to chuck it all and go back. I had a wonderful group of very loving beings to hang with. Also, making the decisions for this life on that side seemed like a walk in the park compared to how they've worked out on this side. Thankfully the other side still communicates when they can get through to me and they laugh at the serious person I have become over here.

[After Election Day, Nov. 5, I suspect a lot of your fellow DUmmies will want to chuck it all and return to the womb.]

That's very similar to my experiences. It's so nice to see that other people have them too.

[I call those other people your Rubber Room Roommates.]

Um, don't know if this qualifies, but I had a regression to my pre-birth planning session. I was being led to a huge amphitheater by my guide. The Elders were sitting around a giant oval-shaped crystal table. The amphitheater was full of people. I was told that these people were going to be here on earth with me and that I was to "awaken the others". It was very real and I have had this directive verified to me many times since.

[Liar! Everybody knows those pre-birth planning session tables are wood, not crystal.]

I can find out precisely WTF I was thinking when I decided to sign up for participating in the Ascension process. 'Cause the way I feel about it now? Worst. Decision. Ever.

[Another way of saying, "I wish I was never born."]

I ahve done holotropic breathwork a few times..

[Don't we all?]

It is also used for "re-birthing" work, very similar to shamanic journeying... but more physical.

[Shamanic journeying courtesy of sham memories.]

One session, I was "stuck" in the birth canal. The teacher pushed my body physically through her legs, and I really "felt" the pressure of the birth canal, and then they all held me and whispered, "we're so glad you're here!" An experience that I never really had, I know my birth was hard for my mom, I came 10 days early, on New year's eve...and they wanted me to be a new years baby so they joke about having held my mom's legs together till midnight! Little did I know, that I remembered being stuck! I am also very claustrophobic, mostly in the dark, too... And I certainly don't remember my family or anyone saying they were glad to see me. They wanted a boy, and when the doctor told my dad he had another daughter, he said "can i see HIM?" (another thing the family jokes about...haha)

[Too bad your brain still remains stuck in that birth canal.]


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KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

I remember kick-fights with my twin brother.

81 posted on 10/01/2008 2:36:41 PM PDT by Mike Darancette (Obama's Pay Grade: Chump Change)
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To: PJ-Comix
Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

Sure: I remember a lot from before my kids were born.

82 posted on 10/01/2008 2:49:16 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: Brookhaven
I was all warm and snuggly in my mother’s womb, sucking my thumb and thinking “I hope I don’t get aborted today.”

Being an unborn baby is the most dangerous job in the world. If the boss doesn't like you, you're dead.

83 posted on 10/01/2008 2:52:46 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Have you ever read "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton?

Oh, there's a book about it? Then it must be true.

84 posted on 10/01/2008 3:13:47 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
You know what I call someone who claims to have pre-birth memories besides being flat out NUts? I call them a liar.

I don't know about that. I suppose it's possible to have some memories from the womb. Some of my earliest memories are from around the time the Silver Bridge collapsed, my parents and neighbors talking about it, but folks in Henderson WV were talking about it for years.

I found out much later in life that I was on the Silver Bridge that day. We'd gone across the river to get our Christmas tree. I was three at the time, but I don't know when the conversations took place. I remember them talking about a neighbor who was never found.

85 posted on 10/01/2008 3:21:30 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Wait, you remember going into your body before you were born? I always thought incarnation took place when the human body took its first breath.

Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O. DUmmie New-Age spiritualism meets DUmmie culture of death.

86 posted on 10/01/2008 3:24:37 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

Like using deodorant, getting a job and finally cleaning that damn basement maybe?

87 posted on 10/01/2008 3:43:36 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
My prebirth memory involves being in a parking lot with guys named Mr. Orange, Mr. Blue, Mr. Brown, Mr. White and Mr. Pink. Two guys in uniforms were herding us toward the exit. I got a digital photograph, and had to wait forty years for the technology to decode it, just so I could post it here.

People kept referring to life on the material plane as "the Job."


88 posted on 10/01/2008 3:44:58 PM PDT by FredZarguna (Don't tase me, Pa!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Ahhh... Geneva on the lake... French fries, penny arcades..


89 posted on 10/01/2008 3:50:23 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of the Masses Could be Farts)
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To: PJ-Comix
For some reason I am sort of "politicked out" today.

I can't imagine why.

90 posted on 10/01/2008 4:57:32 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I have very fond memories, and at the age of 4 wanted to chuck it all and go back. I had a wonderful group of very loving beings to hang with. Also, making the decisions for this life on that side seemed like a walk in the park compared to how they've worked out on this side. Thankfully the other side still communicates when they can get through to me and they laugh at the serious person I have become over here.

I had an imaginary friend when I was four. Only one, and it didn't last long. I guess if I had never gone outside and discovered other people then I might have created a fantasy population of friend and made up a prebirth history for them. Then after growing up, still having never been outside or meeting others, I would have gotten a computer and joined DU. Thank God Mom kicked me out of the house for most of my youth. I'd rather have my kid join a street gang than DU. At least he'd have some non-virtual friends.

91 posted on 10/01/2008 4:57:44 PM PDT by Pan_Yan (All gray areas are fabrications.)
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To: TheWriterTX; PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson
I think that it is very possible to have memories from the womb. The way I interpret this thread is that the DUmmies' idea of "pre-birth" memories are what their spirits were doing while communing with the spirits of the trees, rocks, moon, sun, constellations, u.s.w., before the heretofore lifeless wad of tissue travelled through the birth canal to the world and was then determined worthy of life by the mother.

At that point (they believe) a spirit moves into the the fetus, which is subsequently promoted to the status of a human being.

92 posted on 10/01/2008 5:14:24 PM PDT by Paul Heinzman (McCain / Palin '08. Write-ins and protest votes won't help America.)
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To: Choose Ye This Day
This thread is a gem: (Warning: Finish all beverages before reading!) http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8111214

The OP in that thread is either the dumbest DUmmie of them all, or the finest troll I've ever seen. That is beautiful, but unfortunately they locked it at 130 posts.

93 posted on 10/01/2008 5:56:29 PM PDT by HangThemHigh (Entropy's not what it used to be.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I like the one who remembers jumping on the “Today Sponge.”

Does anybody here have a DU account? It would be fun to post about remembering when you were aborted.


94 posted on 10/01/2008 6:03:42 PM PDT by lieutenant columbo
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To: HangThemHigh

Ahhhhhh! What a hilarious thread.


95 posted on 10/01/2008 7:30:34 PM PDT by arizonarachel (Waiting for another miracle, due March 27th, 2009!)
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To: wagglebee

See post #56. I TOLD you I lose brain cells with every pregnancy which accounts for my occasional, um, glitches. Yeah. ;0)


96 posted on 10/01/2008 8:48:56 PM PDT by samiam1972 ("It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."-Mother Teresa)
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To: samiam1972
I TOLD you I lose brain cells with every pregnancy which accounts for my occasional, um, glitches.

I would need some more definitive proof that you weren't nuts BEFORE you started having kids! :-)

97 posted on 10/02/2008 4:35:31 AM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: TheWriterTX

I totally agree with you - especially as it relates to changing people’s minds about abortion in particular...

One true story to share here...
My mother passed away several months before I became pregnant with my youngest daughter. When she was about two years old I remember speaking with her about my mom. I brought out pictures (I didn’t have any up on my dresser or on the walls or anything, so it’s not like she could’ve seen them beforehand).

Anyway, we looked at the pictures, and as I was showing her one of myself and my mom she asked me — “Who is that lady?” I replied that it was my mom. She then said to me, “I know her. She’s really nice, she took care of me when I was in heaven”. It shocked me at first, but seeing how young she was, I didn’t try to talk her out of it or anything. And, besides, what if she really did meet my mother in heaven before she was conceived - as a soul, with God knowing she would be a part of our family before we knew it ourselves? Kind of cool, huh?

Another thing: we were not attending church and such at the time (long story), and I didn’t speak too often about my mother, nor did I speak about heaven. So where she got it from - I have no idea... I’d like to think that it was true. And to this day she STILL insists that she remembers my mother, and that she took care of her “before she came to Earth from Heaven”... Out of the mouths of babes...

Thanks so much for sharing your story. As I said, I too believe that discussions of this sort would have a profound effect on those who believe babies are just a “clump of cells”... Nothing could be further from the truth! :)


98 posted on 10/02/2008 5:27:51 AM PDT by LibertyRocks ( http://LibertyRocks.wordpress.com ~ Pro-Palin & NObama Gear : http://cafepress.com/NO_ObamaBiden08)
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To: graywaiter; Izzy_Box
I experienced something like this with my oldest (Freeper Izzy_Box) when I was pregnant with her.

I remember driving one day to pick up my husband from work, and I had ZZ Top on the radio - quite loud in fact (it was a beautiful day, and I was in a great mood). Anyway, she started kicking exactly in time to the beat of the song. With every bass beat, I got a jab in the tummy! It was the weirdest sensation - but very incedible, and awesome at the same time. (Oh, and she still has a really good sense of rhythm!)
99 posted on 10/02/2008 5:35:10 AM PDT by LibertyRocks ( http://LibertyRocks.wordpress.com ~ Pro-Palin & NObama Gear : http://cafepress.com/NO_ObamaBiden08)
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To: wagglebee

I’ve got nothing. I married dh. That alone proves I was nuts. (Poor guy can’t even defend himself!)


100 posted on 10/02/2008 5:39:16 AM PDT by samiam1972 ("It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."-Mother Teresa)
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