DUmmie FUnnies 10-01-08 ("Anybody here have pre-birth memories?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 1, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

For some reason I am sort of "politicked out" today. Therefore I went to my tried and true DUmmie Astrology forum to find some non-political flat out NUts thread to DUFU. I was not disappointed as you can see from this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Anybody here have pre-birth memories?" You know what I call someone who claims to have pre-birth memories besides being flat out NUts? I call them a liar. And the DUmmies are both. The very earliest memory your correspondent has is when he was three years old and living at Geneva-On-The-Lake in Ohio. Yes, my very first memory in life is of the waves of Lake Erie lashing up upon the shore. I was tossing a beachball into the air while yelling, "Herbie! Herbie!" Herbie being a chubby young companion of mine at the time. I wish I could tell you of the in-depth conversations Herbie and I had discussing politics and philosophy but that is the sum total of my memory of that time. But the DUmmies are somehow on a higher plane in their own minds so some of them claim they have pre-birth memories. You know what? I'm GLAD I don't have pre-birth memories. One thing I don't want to remember is floating inside a womb for month to month bored out of my mind. No TV. No computer. No nothing. Just darkness and the occasional hand shove by someone in the outer world to see if I was there. Yeah, I was there and thankfully I have NO memory of it. So let us now watch the DUmmies as they discuss their pre-birth memories in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there is life after birth, is in the [brackets]:

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

[Wouldn't that sort of be an argument against abortion?]

Not many people talk about it. I have memories from the time before we chose our bodies this time around and planning certain events. Anybody else?

[You want me to believe that Helen Thomas had a choice of bodies? Ha!]

Have you ever read "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton?

[No but I'll mark it down as New Age bilge that I have no interest in reading.]

Tell us about your prebirth memories. I don't have any and would love to hear about yours.

[Month 1: Utter darkness. Month 2 thru 8: Utter darkness. Month 9: Utter darkness...no wait! I see some light at the end of the tunnel!]

They are a little hard to describe

but basically I remember being light with no body, just a concentration of light energy. The place we were in, (there were lots of us) was very bright and we were planning our lives. It was almost like a game. We, (the close friends that I would spend this life with) were planning specific events that we would experience together, choosing our parents and such. Even some of the beings that were to be my pets were there. That was part of why they were coming back as another animal, so that I would take care of them.

[What kind of poker were you playing while you waited around? Holdem or draw?]

The best way I can describe the planning is that it was like a simulator where we would see certain things play out and then we would get information like, "this is going to really hurt or you are going to find this a real challenge. It seemed strange at the time but the answer was that once we got to this place, that emotions would be involved and that would make things more difficult.

[Becoming a DUmmie is really going to hurt.]

I also remember each of us going off by ourselves with some guide to plan some individual things, some happy, some tragic or frightening. I also remember that we could merge and become one with a larger light and just become a part of it. And then I remember going into the body before I was born and then parts of actually being born.

[Too bad for the ones that got aborted. No sweetness and light for them.]

My mom was actually shocked when, as a little kid, I kept telling her about this dream I had of a room with steel and these green tile on the walls. And being cold and these people carrying me around. She confirmed it was the room I was born in.

[Lucky you that the room didn't have a sign saying: "Abortion Clinic."]

Anyway, that's about it. It's been with me as long as I can remember

[Thanx for sharing...I think.]

I totally believe you, and this is the coolest damn post I've ever read! Thanks for sharing this. It made my day.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

I really wanted to share it because I've only ever told a couple of friends, and haven't heard much discussion about it. I know other people must have experienced it too, as one of the other posts confirmed.

[Somehow I don't think NARAL wants to hear about your pre-birth memories.]

Can you go into any more detail? Anything else you remember?

[What was the Dow Jones average at on the other side?]

Just really random things...like the planning of certain events. I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

[Your confinement to the rubber room is yet to happen.]

All I can remember is the actual birth process. That it was as painful for me as my Mom. I recall going down in a dark tunnel, and being welcomed by a bright light, then getting my butt slapped and screaming. I was born in a boarding house in N.Y. State. I have memories of the house as a toddler, like learning how to get down the circular wood staircase on my butt !! Wish I could remember as much as you. Maybe I could with regression.

[Do you remember the "body sculpting" performed upon your tiny talleywhacker? That's another early memory that I don't miss.]

Wait, you remember going into your body before you were born? I always thought incarnation took place when the human body took its first breath.

[That is more in line with NARAL doctrine.]

I have very fond memories, and at the age of 4 wanted to chuck it all and go back. I had a wonderful group of very loving beings to hang with. Also, making the decisions for this life on that side seemed like a walk in the park compared to how they've worked out on this side. Thankfully the other side still communicates when they can get through to me and they laugh at the serious person I have become over here.

[After Election Day, Nov. 5, I suspect a lot of your fellow DUmmies will want to chuck it all and return to the womb.]

That's very similar to my experiences. It's so nice to see that other people have them too.

[I call those other people your Rubber Room Roommates.]

Um, don't know if this qualifies, but I had a regression to my pre-birth planning session. I was being led to a huge amphitheater by my guide. The Elders were sitting around a giant oval-shaped crystal table. The amphitheater was full of people. I was told that these people were going to be here on earth with me and that I was to "awaken the others". It was very real and I have had this directive verified to me many times since.

[Liar! Everybody knows those pre-birth planning session tables are wood, not crystal.]

I can find out precisely WTF I was thinking when I decided to sign up for participating in the Ascension process. 'Cause the way I feel about it now? Worst. Decision. Ever.

[Another way of saying, "I wish I was never born."]

I ahve done holotropic breathwork a few times..

[Don't we all?]

It is also used for "re-birthing" work, very similar to shamanic journeying... but more physical.

[Shamanic journeying courtesy of sham memories.]

One session, I was "stuck" in the birth canal. The teacher pushed my body physically through her legs, and I really "felt" the pressure of the birth canal, and then they all held me and whispered, "we're so glad you're here!" An experience that I never really had, I know my birth was hard for my mom, I came 10 days early, on New year's eve...and they wanted me to be a new years baby so they joke about having held my mom's legs together till midnight! Little did I know, that I remembered being stuck! I am also very claustrophobic, mostly in the dark, too... And I certainly don't remember my family or anyone saying they were glad to see me. They wanted a boy, and when the doctor told my dad he had another daughter, he said "can i see HIM?" (another thing the family jokes about...haha)

[Too bad your brain still remains stuck in that birth canal.]

[Nowhere Man]

How can these kooks have “pre-birth” dreams? They are all partial birth abortion enthusiasts! Life doesnt begin for these moonbats until the doctor slaps’em on the ass..

They, especially the ones born from 1973 on up, should get down on their hands and knees and thank God their parents did not abort them and they are here to talk about it. I admit, even though this topic is on DU, it is very interesting, then again, I like looking into things like the paranormal and so on as well as listen to "Coast to Coast AM" when I can.

[N. Theknow]

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

Millions of sperm, and this is the one that made it.

[KJC1]

OT, but are there any threads in the DUmp about that creepy Obama Youth Choir video? I looked yesterday and today, and couldn’t find any.

[Personal Responsibility]

My mom was actually shocked when, as a little kid, I kept telling her about this dream I had of a room with steel and these green tile on the walls. And being cold and these people carrying me around. She confirmed it was the room I was born in.

That describes the room EVERYBODY was born in. A room with steel and green tiles? Probably only 100000000 hospitals that look like that.

Being cold and being carried around? NO WAY! I bet there was a person in a mask there and I remeber being in a blanket too!

These people need every one of the drugs they are on. But with stronger doses.

[GQuagmire]

I wouldn’t call that a food experience. Sounds more like a lack of plumbing experience

[kenth]

It made my day.

---

Dang, her days suck.

[ßuddaßudd]

We are born naked, wet and hungry and slapped on our ass,,, then things get a lot worse.

(stolen from FR a long time ago)

[Nowhere Man]

It's a shame we can't have a temporary truce and join their discussion. I know most of their politics, well, frankly, sucks, but I think this one issue transcends that and I think we could have interesting exchange of ideas on this one.

Myself, I never really talked about it to anyone, but sometimes I think I remember just floating, like floating in space, aware, yet just floating and then seeing a white light and then my life began. I often wonder about previous lives, Heaven and so on and perhaps I have experiences of both from previous lives. Maybe the "floating in space" is sort of like waiting in line to be "sent" to Earth by God for another round. I remember seeing the cartoon, "Hoober Bloob Highway" as a kid, it was written by Dr. Seuss, although it was a cartoon, I wonder how close to the truth it is. Basically, souls were "sent down" to Earth on a slide to be born.

[CSM]

Wow! They truly are nuts!

[Cheburashka]

Most DUmmies first prebirth memory is someone saying, “D@^^! The rubber broke!”

[Uriah_lost]

Some fun stuff! Here’s a great portrayal of Dem Dummies...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU-EpU13K_o

[just me]

""Tell us about your prebirth memories. I don't have any and would love to hear about yours.""

[Month 1: Utter darkness. Month 2 thru 8: Utter darkness. Month 9: Utter darkness...no wait! I see some light at the end of the tunnel!]

I am glad I swallowed my coffee before I read that.

[HungarianGypsy]

There are many topics that I can talk about more easily with “wacky liberals”. Topics I believe in, but can only discuss around those who I know won’t laugh or make light of it. This would be one of them. I have heard too many stories of memories at birth to discount them.

[Cheburashka]

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

Millions of sperm, and this is the one that made it.

---

I figure this was the pick of the litter, the others were dumber.

[Ditter]

Excuse me while I barf! :{(O) My dogs would be the only ones I know who would eat what he eats. If you know anything about dogs, that is NOT a good thing. dogs will eat their own poo.

[never4get]

First off, these DUers are moonbats, I mean this takes the cake.....

My first memory was when I was on a plane. I was between 2 and 3 years old and remember pulling the tray down in front of me, looking out the window and seeing clouds...and the stewardess pinning an airplane wings pin on me. After that about when I was 4 at a pool.

[graywaiter]

While I myself don’t have any of these types of memories, I do know that babies certainlly respond to the “outside” world inuetro. My youngest son HATES loud noises/gunfire. 1 week before he was born, I shot a round of skeet, and we have it on video where he jerked everytime I pulled the trigger. I was tiny for being “that” pregnant and my whole body shook. He doesn’t mind gunfire noise if HE’S the one doing the shooting, but if its anyone else, (or his brother turning the amp up), he wants ear plugs.

[graywaiter]

While I myself don't have any of these types of memories, I do know that babies certainly respond to the “outside” world. My youngest son HATES loud noises/gunfire. 1 week before he was born, I shot a round of skeet, and we have it on video where he jerked everytime I pulled the trigger. I was tiny for being “that” pregnant and my whole body shook. He doesn't mind gunfire noise if HE'S the one doing the shooting, but if its anyone else, (or his brother turning the amp up), he wants ear plugs.

[Hot Tabasco]

LOL!

[Hot Tabasco]

Most DUmmies first prebirth memory is someone saying, “D@^^! The rubber broke!”

Or, "leave the money on the end table".......