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DUmmie FUnnies 09-16-08 (Primal Scream DUmmies Rage Over Obama Poll Plunge)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 16, 2008 | PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/16/2008 6:12:59 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Now the FUn really begins. The inevitable plunge in the polls by Barack Obama is causing the DUmmies to implode in a big way as you can see in this THREAD with the enraged title of "You know who you are. You are LYING to US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dirty, corrupt SOBs!." That title alone is worth a bundle of laughs. Apparently DUmmie wowimthere just can't accept the poll results showing Obama's steep decline so he lashes out at the pollsters. His rage is matched by that of his fellow DUmmies which is what makes this thread so comedically entertaining. So let us now enjoy the enjoy the Primal Scream DUmmies shouting out their rage against pollsters in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if DUmmie wowimthere is really the infamous troglaman in disguise, is in the [barackets]:

You know who you are. You are LYING to US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dirty, corrupt SOBs!

[Blasted DUmmie wowimthere from his rubber room bunker.]

How can Obama raise 66 million dollars in August, gain another 500,000 donors and have over 80 thousand people show up at his Denver speech and be tied with a corrupt politician who can't even get 5000 people to hear him speak, who can't raise money on his own and has to lie about the crowd sizes to create perception that he's doing well enough to be considered a presidential hopeful?

[So what address can I send you your Guy Fawkes costume?]

80 percent of this country believes that this country is going in the wrong direction and I'm supposed to believe that McCain who votes with Bush 90 percent of the times is tied with Obama?

[Actually AHEAD of Obama. Does that make you feel better?]

COME ON!

[COME ON! Time for your lithium shot.]

All indications are that Dems will gain more seats in the House and the Senate giving the Dems an overwhelming majority to push their agenda but Obama who is a popular Democrat who can get disaffected Republicans and Independents to vote for the Democratic ticket may not get to the white house because he's tied with a Republican who was responsible for enabling Bush?

[All indications are that the DUmmies are in the middle of a meltdown.]

COME ON!

[COME ON! Time for your electroshock therapy.]

The Democrats have registered 11,000,000 more Democrats than the Republicans and I'm supposed to believe that Obama and McCain are tied?

[Tied among voters who do not reside in cemeteries.]

COME ON!

[COME ON! Time to bite down on that leather strap.]

McCain picks a woman to be his running mate (for political reasons) who has absolutely no foreign policy experience (a credential he ripped Obama for), who is as corrupt as he is and is just a heartbeat away from the presidency and he and Obama are tied?

[Not tied. Ahead.]

COME ON!

[COME ON! Start swinging your butterfly net.]

All together!

Chuck Todd is LYING!
MSNBC is LYING!
CNN is LYING!
ABC is LYING!
CBS is LYING!
Wallstreet Journal is LYING!
USA Today is LYING!

[Did anybody ever tell you that you're cute when rabidly raging uncontrollably?]

And the polls...?

GALLUP IS LYING!
RASMUSSEN IS LYING!

[But not Jason Leopold. You can always believe him.]

THERE IS NO TIE! This is a fabrication. This is an illusion. This is a fairytale.

[Are those restraining straps comfy?]

The Media and the Polls they road in on are FULL of SHIT! They want you to believe the illogical. It's a LIE. How can they get away with THIS LIE?

[Not to worry. The exit polls will be as accurate as they were in 2004.]

Obama and McCain are NOT TIED! Good commonsense defies the logic of the polls. The media who sponsors these polls is holding these polls up as a way of pushing their own agenda. People should do one thing consistently. Write or call the media outlets to tell them that you aren't gullible, that you know that they are trying to sway opinion and possibly the election.

[Yes! Yes! Open your window in Ward 8 and Primal Scream your anger at the world. And now on to the other Primal Scream DUmmies...]

Honestly, it looks to me as though the MSM is looking to the Good Witch Sarah to blink away that nasty black man.

[MSM? Like Jack Cafferty and Campbell Brown? And what parallel universe are you posting from?]

REPUBLICANS ARE GONNA STEAL IT

[Your Diebold machines are already set on "R."]

exactly . . . . they're just softening us up to accept the big blow

[Would it help if we anesthetized you first?]

The Republicans know exactly what they're doing....If they can keep the polls looking close, when they go to rig the election, it'll not be so obvious.

[All is going according to the Perfect Rovian Plan.]

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER..

Do we actually think the corporate media controlled by the corporate overlords would rig the poles so that when they steal an insane percentage of votes on election day, no one will be surprised? No...really? NO F*CKING SHIT!

WE ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DOOMED...unless for some bizarre reason, they completely screw up and can't steal enough votes...we can always HOPE.

[Don't you listen? I told you the Diebold machines are already set to "R."]

We can also take to the streets.

[Drop your pizzas and hit the streets.]

Christ on a harley,

The Ukrainians staged a country wide shut down; the orange revolution.

[Those pizza stains on your T-shirts could pass for orange.]

We need to be prepared to do the same or we need to be prepared to live with the result. So when the repubs try to swarm an election recount we need to out swarm them and push their asses somewhere else. When they try to rig the supreme court we need to plug the streets so nothing gets done around the court and the judges can't leave. When the cops and national guard are pulled in we have to convince them to support their neighbors rather than their overlords. Or we need to make sure that they spend months getting us moved. Everyone should buy a set of handcuffs and throw away the keys and then fill the keyhole with epoxy so they can't be opened and then chain themselves together.

[You'll move the moment you get the munchies for a pizza which means 10 minutes.]

We must resist.

[Why wait? Why don't you see if you can get a chain of DUmmies to form halfway across Pennsyvania Ave.. You couldn't do it before but this time you might be in luck.]

My Fondest, Dearest Hope should this happen, is that the hate radio stations and staff are singled out for immediate retaliation.

[Send in the DUmmie Chekha squads to liquidate Rush, Sean, and Laura.]

We march on Washington and live there until we get a fair re-count or re-vote. Whatever it takes.

[But where do you go when you have to do doo-doo? There will be no convenient portapotties set up for you.]

They'll steal it if we let them, but I don't plan to let them - do you? Making defeatist predictions despite what the author said doesn't help at all, and only shows how messed up in the head some progressives are; the repugs did great at getting inside some people's heads and living rent-free, but they didn't get inside mine, and apparently not the author's. Speak for yourself - you're preparing to roll over and play dead and let them win, but the majority of us are not. The majority of us are mad as hell and we're not taking this anymore.

[I won't let those evil Republicans get inside my head. I WON'T! I WON'T! I WON'T LET THEM DRIVE ME INSANE WITH ANGER!!!]

CNN shows a map of the U.S.A. today - the states divided into red and blue. Funny thing - it appeared only 7 of the states were colored in blue. They want us to believe ONLY SEVEN STATES OUT OF FIFTY ARE BLUE! The rest they show as either red, "maybe" red or blue, or "could go either way". After 8 years of Americans watching our country and our lives being destroyed under the bu$h regime? Does ANYONE believe this? I think not. They have gone too far, and are too obvious this time. They CANNOT get away with it.

[Seven states in blue? So that means the other fifty are red.]

I noticed that MSNBC has added a new color to their maps. It looks green. It was never there before but now they have included it. And surprise, surprise, surprise, Obama has suddenly lost electoral votes from states that use to lean to him. Interesting how they had to add a new color to make it look like Obama was falling behind. Corporate media covering for the coming theft of the election.

[Would it make you feel better if they added magenta to their electoral map color scheme?]

KEEP CANVASSING! KEEP PHONEBANKING! KEEP DONATING!!!

[Barack Obama is only $10 away from turning Wyoming blue.]

Kerry signs were 50:1 over Bush here is S.E. Ohio in 2004. It was unreal. I was positive Kerry would win Ohio. Remember, S.E. Ohio is traditionally foolish in their presidential selection. But they cheated. And they will cheat again. Because they are not patriots as they would have us believe. They are scoundrels of the worst kind.

[Better send Obama into Ohio to "get me a huntin' license."]

They have to keep the polls close. Otherwise, when they steal the election it will be to obvious. It's kind of like the big dustup after the last election where they were saying the exit polls were all wrong. The exit polls were right, but the vote counts weren't. There are lots of die-hard rethugs out there, religious zealots & greedy rich folks. Add those that don't pay attention & the racists & it might be tighter than it should be in reality, but I still believe, like you, that Obama is winning. MY state should turn blue, but my state has some serious election fraud issues. What can we do?

[Send in a team of ACORN lawyers. They have a lot of experience with election fraud.]

You're right about the exit polls. I knew when they said the exit polls were off that the election had been stolen. Create perception that this is a close election so that this election is ripe for stealing. If most people know this and articulate it to the media then when you don't have to trust the media then you go to other alternative forms of news and what happens to traditional media? They lose.

[But Karl Rove wins.]

The media are playing us all for suckers, and Gallup, and Rasmussen are the pawns. These polls are complete bullshit, and anyone with half a brain can figure that out. The media is using manufactured "polls" to generate ratings. It's disgusting that none of them are concerned with the truth. This country is so deep in corruption, media sensationalism, and fascism that it's on the verge of imploding.

[Talking about imploding...]

Something is happening that we need to start really paying attention to. Karma has it out for us kids. I witnessed it first hand yesterday when a F*CKING HURRICANE hit central Ohio. 1,497,610 people are without electricity right now as a result of yesterdays sustained equivalent of a F1 tornado. The next time some f*cker tells you that global warming is a myth, punch the shit out of them. No intelligent person believes that. Yet, a vapid moron parading around as a vice presidential candidate would have you believe it. Jesus rode on the back of a dinosaur. Women should be forced to have a baby resulting from a rape. Half the country believes this phony, and the dumb ass grandpa, Reagan wannabe. If that is true, I have completely lost faith in this nation. Perhaps God should wash us off of the map for good.

[Your eyes have that special twinkle when you are in the middle of a Primal Scream.]

Keep frightening the TV channels sponsors and advertisers so the channels will back down

[And not report poll results?]

what gets my blood boiling is when you see McCain/Palin telling lie after lie and miraculously... their poll numbers go up? WTF! That isn't believable given the last 8 years when we've lied. I know people are paying attention. I hear it from everyone. I don't know but one person who may consider McCain. Everyone else, Dem, GOP, Independent is voting for Obama.

[Is that you, Pauline Kael?]

Im sorry...I do believe McCain/Palin will win this election...I've seen the nation dumbed down with propaganda, junk news, and other assorted toys to keep us entertained to where I have no faith in its people anymore.

[Give up the audacity of hope now!]

Let's not forget the huge number of vituperative, small minded bigots who want to gloat over the libruls' despair.

[Hee! Hee!]

The polling lies are a prerequisite for stealing the 2008 election. Face it people. The polls HAVE to be [kept] close so they can steal enough votes to steal the third election in a row. 2000 in Florida, 2006 in Ohio and 2008 in one of the purple states. I'm no pollster but it's not hard to see that simply changing the sampling size and make-up can change the poll results. Dam computers have all made it possible. Close polls, caging practices and talking heads planting seeds of doubt on expected turn outs should be consider the trifecta of stolen elections. The question is will Obama fold like Kerry did in 2004. If he does we're done as a democracy. Remember It's not the people who vote that count. It's the people who count the votes.

[Is that Karl Rove inside your Diebold machine?]

I live in California. Is there ANYTHING I can do, we can do, to STOP them from stealing the race? Please tell me. And I'll do it. Whatever it is. Just sitting here makes me feel completely useless. I know California is more liberal, I'm not worried about California. I'm worried about Ohio, New York, etc. What can I do??????

[California? No need for you to worry about California. Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; obamabiden
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To: PJ-Comix
THERE IS NO TIE! This is a fabrication. This is an illusion. This is a fairytale.

This is the Reality Based Community.

41 posted on 09/16/2008 6:52:52 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Poll dancing.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've been reading DUmmie Funnies for what, two years now, and this one is the best of the lot. You can hear and see the contorted, spittle-flecked mouths, as they cry out from the barred windows of The Home. Wow. How do human beings get themselves into such a state?

You do hard, honorable, filthy work, to go into their rooms of paranoia and bring back the texts. Thank you (I think).

Congressman Billybob

Click here -- I think you'll be surprised and delighted.

Latest article, "I, Obama"

42 posted on 09/16/2008 7:01:30 AM PDT by Congressman Billybob (www.theacru.org)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've been reading DUmmie Funnies for what, two years now, and this one is the best of the lot. You can hear and see the contorted, spittle-flecked mouths, as they cry out from the barred windows of The Home. Wow. How do human beings get themselves into such a state?

You do hard, honorable, filthy work, to go into their rooms of paranoia and bring back the texts. Thank you (I think).

Congressman Billybob

Click here -- I think you'll be surprised and delighted.

Latest article, "I, Obama"

43 posted on 09/16/2008 7:02:25 AM PDT by Congressman Billybob (www.theacru.org)
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To: PJ-Comix
Let's not forget the huge number of vituperative, small minded bigots who want to gloat over the libruls' despair

Where do I sign up?

44 posted on 09/16/2008 7:04:02 AM PDT by chesley (I'm still alive, still employed, & still married. Life is GOOD)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Do we let the DUmmies in on the secret that hurricanes happen ( especially during hurricane season ) and have always with or without people or should we just continue to laugh at them?

If we are to argue with morons, it would only make us look like morons. I'll just keep laughing at them.

45 posted on 09/16/2008 7:05:02 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
This is the Reality Based Community.

As compared to their Insanity Based Community...

46 posted on 09/16/2008 7:06:22 AM PDT by bcsco (Sarah America! Ignore the lipstik at your peril!)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Continue to laugh. It drives them nuts that the "morans" sic can't recognize their superior intelligence, wit, and knowledge.
47 posted on 09/16/2008 7:07:05 AM PDT by chesley (I'm still alive, still employed, & still married. Life is GOOD)
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To: PJ-Comix
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
48 posted on 09/16/2008 7:07:13 AM PDT by peggybac (Tolerance is the virtue of believing in nothing)
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To: PJ-Comix
We march on Washington and live there until we get a fair re-count or re-vote. Whatever it takes.

It'll be fun to see these overfed loompahs leave Mommy's basement and actually have to buy their own food.

49 posted on 09/16/2008 7:07:40 AM PDT by NRA1995 (It should be called "Cosa Nostra", not "Congress")
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To: mondonico

Your mouth -—————————————>>>>>>> God’s ears


50 posted on 09/16/2008 7:08:27 AM PDT by chesley (I'm still alive, still employed, & still married. Life is GOOD)
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To: PJ-Comix
This is a fabrication. This is an illusion. This is a fairytale.

The poster stumbles upon the truth.

51 posted on 09/16/2008 7:08:45 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (When you find "Sola Scriptura" in the Bible, let me know)
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To: PJ-Comix
... I drive around the state a LOT. All I see is Obama bumper stickers and Obama yard signs. By a margin of about 30 to 1 over McCain.

Yeah, I agree. I don't see any McCain bumper stickers or yard signs. Why is this? Probably because people who display McCain bumper stickers and yard signs would see their cars and homes vandalized, something Obama supporters don't have to worry about.

No way I'm putting a McCain sticker on my car. I just bought new tires and I don't want them slashed.

They need to worry about all those cars and yards without Obama signs to know the real numbers.

52 posted on 09/16/2008 7:10:02 AM PDT by Drew68
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm supposed to believe that Obama and McCain are tied?

No, but you're fit to be tied (hands behind the back)...

53 posted on 09/16/2008 7:14:41 AM PDT by mikrofon (Voting Straight[-jacket] ticket)
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To: PJ-Comix
Do we actually think the corporate media controlled by the corporate overlords would rig the poles

No, the Poles already like the President and probably McCain, but like France & Germany they can't vote in our election...

(And BTW, Riga is in Latvia)

54 posted on 09/16/2008 7:19:56 AM PDT by mikrofon (I, for one, welcome our 'Corporate Overlords')
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To: PJ-Comix
“The next time some f*cker tells you that global warming is a myth, punch the shit out of them”.

Try that with me, please. It would be so liberating to have to defend myself from some raving lefty. Really, please...DUmmie lurkers, FReep mail me, I will list the corner and the time.

Oh and by the way, Global Warming is a myth.

55 posted on 09/16/2008 7:26:38 AM PDT by alarm rider (Peace! through superior fire power....)
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To: PJ-Comix; All
Geez, normally I like the DUmmie Funnies...I couldn't get through this one.

Stupid is OK, Angry is OK. Stupid and Angry is a dangerous combination. I'm a bit concerned about what will happen in Nov.

Most likely, the kids will go back to their parents' basements, and type out their rage about the unfairness of it all. I certainly hope so.

56 posted on 09/16/2008 7:30:13 AM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill

I’ll see their riot of angry lefties and raise them a National Rifle Association.

Please riot. Please.


57 posted on 09/16/2008 7:39:30 AM PDT by Netheron
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To: PJ-Comix


THERE IS NO TIE! This is a fabrication. This is an illusion. This is a fairytale. There are no American troops in Baghdad.
58 posted on 09/16/2008 7:39:39 AM PDT by Diggler (We will be beaten with our own virtue. Proud American Infidel!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm no pollster but it's not hard to see that simply changing the sampling size and make-up can change the poll results.

A rare nugget of truth from a DUmmie. Pollsters having been tinkering with sample makeup to slant polls to the LEFT since I started paying attention to politics. That's what makes these polls so interesting.

59 posted on 09/16/2008 7:39:43 AM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Go, Sonics! And take the Mariners with you.)
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To: RabidBartender

Mmmmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!


60 posted on 09/16/2008 7:43:08 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("If someone is coming to kill you, rise early and kill him first" (Sanhedrin 72a and parallels).)
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