Posted on 12/04/2005 1:55:43 PM PST by Jessica24
The Liberal Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
Not a creature was celebrating, just as the liberals had planned.
The war had been waged with consummate glee,
And they had finally vanquished the foul bourgeoisie.
They were now out of power, but oh those libs had a vision-
A secular state guised as multiculturalism.
And they knew that in order to accomplish this heist,
First and foremost they must get rid of Christ!
The first line of attack had been at the greeting,
Now no one could say it except at a prayer meeting.
“Down with this imperial “Merry Christmas” phrase!
From now on, be PC- Say “Happy Holidays.”
Next they had set their sights on the tree,
Striking the “Christmas” from it by liberal decree.
“They’re Wishing Trees now, and if you disagree,
You’re prob’ly a hick from red state Tennessee.”
All this they carried out with the help of the press,
Naïve college freshmen and celebrity noblesse.
But there was only so much they could accomplish by squawking.
Too many were not buying all that they were hawking.
It was time to implement the next step in their coup d’etat.
“We must file suit,” they said, “and make it the law.
In our pledge, on our money, we think it’s unjust!
God’s too democratic- in judges we trust!”
"Now Moore! Now, Newdow! Now, Reid and Pelosi!
On, Boxer! On, Franken!, Johns Edwards and Kerry!
To the top of the bench! To the top of The Hill!
Now dash away! Dash away! Go impose our will!"
So they dashed to the courts, and they made it obscene,
To be caught wearing anything made of red or of green,
To have sugar plums or fig pudding on the cuisine,
Or to think of setting up a Nativity scene.
Finally the conservatives were set all agog,
Could this mean the end of elves and eggnog?
No carols? No candy canes? they thought with dismay.
Was the only tinsel to be found in L.A.?
No harking the herald, no decking the halls.
No cheesy Christmas concerts or frantic shopping at malls.
No late night visits from St. Nicholas.
No mistletoe under which to stand and be kissed.
Away went the manger, no jingle bell did rock.
Tiny Tim and The Grinch now as distasteful as Halliburton stock.
Gone were frankincense, myrrh, and Joy to the World.
Two thousand years of tradition had now been unfurled.
And if from the street they could see stockings,
Then you could be sure that the libs would come knocking.
“If from private celebrating you cannot refrain,
Then by Souter we shall invoke imminent domain!”
So Christmas Eve had come with nary one string of lights,
(Even putting a damper on all eight Hanukkah nights).
The activists were left to ponder the next crusade to embark upon.
Should it be Easter next time? Rosh Hashanah? Ramadan?
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
Not any size sleigh or a single reindeer.
Not Santa Claus or Frosty the Snowman,
But the lights of church, and the inside was glowing.
People were laughing and holding hands,
Catching up with neighbors and family and friends.
Singing of how their lives were restored,
Proclaiming loudly, “Happy Birthday, dear Lord!”
The liberals were furious. How could this be?
They’d done away with the greeting, done away with the tree.
No halls had been decked- They’d passed resolutions!
How could it not have been the solution?
On his way out of the church they stopped an old man,
Asked desperately what had gone wrong with their plan.
He led them aside and pointed into the sky,
Placed a hand on their shoulder and said kindly “That’s why.”
“You cannot control what you don’t understand.
You can’t wipe away faith with the wave of your hand.
You can take away the trees and the elves and the bells,
The colors, the lights, but none of that tells
“The story of Christmas, and you knew all along,
the trappings and presents aren’t what make us strong.
It’s hope, and it’s love, and it’s prayers we have prayed,
And that’s what has for so long made you afraid.
“Maybe our faith fails analytical review,
But we love God, one another… We even love you.”
He walked away several steps, then turned, eyebrows raised.
“Oh, and one more thing… Happy Holidays.”
Wishing you all a very very very Merry Christmas…
Great! And welcome to FR!
Welcome and pretty doggone good!!!
Bumped and ping to the RKBA for an iteresting post
Welcome!
I'm sure you will be receiving this from someone else in your e-mail soon!
Very nice!
Jessica24 - nicely done
freedumb2003 - thanks for the headsup
all - good stuff here!
Thank you.
Thank you Jessica for reinforcing the true meaning of Christmas. Great poem by the way. Merry Christmas
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the best modern poem I've read since Robert Frost's stuff. I'm emailing it to all my friends.
It's so refreshing to read a poem that actually makes sense, even if a parody.
Did you read about "cultural Marxism" from that guy [USN (ret)Gerald Whozis at Annapolis, somewhere on FR in the last few days? Sounds like you did.
Great stuff.
Very nice!
PING
It made me cry!! I'm sending this one on to others.
Thanks!
btw, you should send this to all the newspapers and see if they print it!
Very Good! Welcome to Free Republic.
ping for later read
Welcome!
Ping me when you post!
You've got talent!
'Twas the Night Before Katrina (cajun style)
'Twas de night before Katrina, when all tru da state
Not a gas pump was pumpin', Not a store open late
All da plywood was hung, on de windows wit care,
Knowing dat a hurricane, Soon would be dere.
Da chilren were ready wit deir flashlight in hand
While rain bands from da hurricane covered over our lan
And Mom wit her Mag-lite, and me wit my cap
Has jus filled da battub for flushing our crap..
When out on de lawn, there arose such a clatter
I sprang from da closet to see what was de matter
The trees on da terrace, and de neighbor's roof torn,
We feared we'd be dyin' in dis terrible storm.
Wit a little wind gus, so lively and quick,
I membered quite clearly our walls was not brick
More rapid than Eagles, her courses they changed!
And she whistled and wafted and surged all the same.
Off shingles! Off sidings! Off rooftops! Off power!
Down trees! Down fences! Down trailers! Down towers!
On da street of New Orleans, she continued to maul,
Screaming Blow away! Blow away! Blow away all!
As da wind ripped and tossed da debris tru de sky,
I peeked out the shutters at the cars floatin' by.
So go to the attic my family did do,
With a portable radio and some batteries too.
And den in a twinkling, I heard on da set,
The end was not coming for a few hours yet!
As I calmed down da kids and was turning around
Tru de window it came with a huge crashing sound
A tree branch it was all covered in soot
De wind blew it smack-dab on top of my foot!
A bundle of twigs now lay in a stack
And my Livin' Room looked like it was under attack.
De wind how it howled, de storm very scary,
Myself and my family were all too unwary.
Da dangers of hurricanes are serious ya know,
Dey are taken for granted as Betsy did show.
Wit da winds dying down and da danger beneath,
I noticed my tool shed was missing its sheath
So I grabbed my last tarp, and nailed it on down,
Den I got in my car and drove into town.
Da traffic was awful and stores had no ice,
My 5-gallon cooler would have to suffice
Generators was scarce, not one left in town,
Dere was trees on the roads and power lines down.
FEMA was ready wit people to work,
Electrical companies came in from New York.
I sprang to da car, and gave my family a whistle,
Den away we all went like a Tomahawk missile!
You could hear us exclaim as we drove out of sight,
"The heck wit dis place, Texas seem just right!"
Well done! Welcome to FR.
Christmas ping.
Merry Christmas!
Thank you and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.