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DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-05 ("How is Andy doing?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/09/2005 5:05:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first thing I did when I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “How is Andy doing?” at 6:50 AM this morning was enter “cancer” into the FIND function and guess what? NO mention of cancer at all on the entire page. You know if Scamdy had pancreatic CANCER it would have been mentioned at least ONCE (although they might toss that word in the thread AFTER reading this edition of the DUFUs). Therefore, if Scamdy did NOT have cancer what was the reason he went to Johns Hopkins in the first place? He could have had regular pancreatic surgery done in his home state of Washington without any need to shill for $50,000+. I put the PLUS sign in there because since Skinner had absolutely NO ACCOUNTING of the Scamdy money taken in, that figure could be well in excess of $50,000. Since Scamdy had his appeal going on OVER a hundred other Leftist websites, it is a good chance that he pocketed a SIZABLE chunk of change over and above what it cost him for mere (non-cancerous) pancreatic surgery. One interesting thing about this thread is not ONE word from Sknner or Pied Piper Pitt since they are both hoping that Scamdy just go away. Somehow Scamdy seems to have a bizarre hold over both of them. So let us now enter this Dummieland thread where all thought of Scamdy’s supposed cancer is tossed down the Memory Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who thinks Scamdy is just $10 away from mentioning “cancer,” is in the [brackets]:

How is Andy doing?

[Wonderfully. Scamdy is recuperating quickly from ROUTINE non-cancerous pancreatic surgery. Thanks to all the money he raked in over and above what was needed for the unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation, Scamdy has more than enough to enjoy a great recuperation period in the Caribbean.]

I assume we are allowed to ask that again. How is he feeling?

[Be careful how you ask that. If you ask why he went to Johns Hopkins unnecessarily because he did NOT have pancreatic cancer, you will probably be tombstoned.]

Well lets see...The incision is still tender...but my appetite is coming back and I am regaining more of my strength every day. I got back home late last night and it was awesome to sleep in my own bed again. Thanks for asking and for the concern! It has meant so much to me what DU has done for me. You all rock. I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

[Recuperation from NON-CANCEROUS pancreatic surgery is fairly rapid, Scamdy. BTW, why no thank you to all the suckers you conned for a Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need?]

Hey, man, you oughta be in bed asleep, regaining your strength. It's great to hear from you, and I'm thrilled you're posting. Keep up with vitamins and good fruits and veggies, and drink only distilled water. I am so serious about this. We all love ya, dear. Keep posting, you make us all feel so good inside.

[Make us feel so good inside and let us believe that you really did need that money we wasted on you to go to Johns Hopkins for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need.]

I have slept alot over the last 2 weeks. today I felt the best I have since surgery. Like I say my strength is coming back more and more each day.

[You’ve certainly slept a lot better than Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. He is so worried sick about how you used him to put over an enormous con for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need, that he hasn’t slept since April.]

This is wonderful news! I'm glad to hear that you're up and about!

[Yes, this is wonderful news. Thank God Scamdy never had pancreatic cancer in the first place. If he did, he would probably still be flat on his back instead of being his chipper self and singing Broadway show tunes over the cell phone from his ICU.]

HI, Andy! Glad to hear you're back home and getting better! Appetite is a good sign...

[Scamdy can now afford to go to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse on an almost daily basis thanx to all that money you folks sent him for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation which did NOT take place.]

Yes it is...although I have found my tastes have changed...for example. I used to love tomatoes...now they taste like straw and celery is peach sweet to me. Apparently that is one of the side effects of pancreatic surgery...changed taste buds.

[I bet Roast DUmmie suckerling tastes mighty sweet to you, Scamdy.]

pineapple and papaya are the best for you and not cooked, either. you gotta keep your weight up, my dear.

[Actually, Scamdy could stand to LOSE a few pounds since he is about to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the FATTEST “pancreatic cancer” patient in history.]

Somebody used to tell me that carrot juice was really really good for you. Good to hear you're doing well, Andy! Keep it up!

[Scamdy prefers Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.]

I am eating like a madman the last couple of days in fact I ate dinner and I am hungry again.

[Yeah, all that “chemotherapy” is giving you quite an appetite, Scamdy.]

for example tonight I had real turkey breast sliced on a tortilla with roasted red peppers lettuce and dijon mustard. It was yummmmmmy. For breakfast I had 9 grain bread with grits and 2 eggs.

[Don’t hold back. Pig out at your local buffet, Scamdy. After all it is well known that pancreatic cancer patients develop quite an appetite.]

Well Joan Krawitz is honorable and I think Ms Harris' troubles are just beginning. But I am not going to focus on her. My job right now is to get well...that is where my focus must and will be.

[Methinks YOUR troubles are just beginning, Scamdy. I am sure there will be an investigation into YOUR fraud. Your job right now is to use those enormous funds you scammed to hire a good defense attorney.]

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

[The ease with which Scamdy conned the DUmmies out of $50,000 for pancreatic cancer operation at Johns Hopkins which NEVER took place will certainly inspire other con artists to enter DUmmieland.]

Hint from a recent surgery patient: Get a neosporin scar patch at the pharmacy. I had a hysterectomy last year and my scar is 100% gone! This is an amazing product.

[Don’t give Scamdy any ideas. He might end up hitting on the DUmmies for another $50,000 for a hysterectomy operation.]

Hey I have ICU and scar pics... I just don't want them posted on that website. you know the one I mean.

[DUmmie FUnnies or Scamdy.Com?]

Wow, Andy, it is TOO good to hear from you....And sounding so chipper, too!! Glad you are coming out of this. I knew you'd beat this thing.

[Careful…careful. It is okay to use the vague term “thing” but DON’T use the word “cancer” or it could mean your tombstoning.]

Andy, this is wonderful to hear! Nothing like being back at home too. Lots of rest now, heal up, and yep, be in the place where you'll be after the next phase of treatment.

[Scamdy’s next phase of treatment will be sun & sea therapy in the Caribbean.]

I have a couple of rounds of chemo and radiation to go through...but the doctor said I should be fine.

[Please send money for unnecessary chemo and radiation that needs to follow the non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

Good to see you back!! Now, close your eyes and visualize. a complete recovery and perfect health! I'm serious, it works

[It sure does. Obvious scams ALWAYS work in Dummieland.]

I have been doing that. I am using a screen nightly to screen all the bad stuff from my body. I know visualizations work...

[Scamdy is now in the process of visualizing another reality of a Dummieland scam.]

OK good night everyone...I am going to lay down and rest.

[Meanwhile, one the other side of the continent from Scamdy, Pied Piper Pitt is lying awake worrying about his defense plea when he is charged with aiding and abetting Scamdy.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andystephenson; dummies
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To: franksolich

I'm hollering. Thanks.


581 posted on 06/10/2005 1:56:36 PM PDT by beandog (Bean the Real Dog -we love you - our hearts are breaking)
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To: beandog

I have no idea when the new Scamdy is to be up--hours, days, weeks, I don't know--but the information from the old one has been retrieved, and there is going to be a "front page" the Andyites will like even less.

I did notice the new forums have been added; the forums honest legitimate authentic members of democraticunderground had requested be added.


582 posted on 06/10/2005 2:00:34 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

Is this a new list?..if so, add me.


583 posted on 06/10/2005 2:17:57 PM PDT by Krodg
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To: PJ-Comix

very impressive! i don't know how Mary Matalin can stay away much longer...


584 posted on 06/10/2005 2:34:41 PM PDT by lieutenant columbo
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To: franksolich

Please add me to the Scamdy alert. Thanks.


585 posted on 06/10/2005 2:35:57 PM PDT by lieutenant columbo
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To: SCALEMAN
I just think there is too much medical fodder out there to get him elected. Fence sitters and swing voters wouldn't go that direction when the DumBocrats start the 'dead man walking' wail.

Well...remember back in the 80's, when the Democrats were saying that Ronald Reagan was "too old" to be President? Even the political cartoonists were drawing him in a wheelchair to highlight the "too old" theme. That didn't stop him from being elected, however. And if I'm not mistaken, the "wheelchair" drawings stopped after the assassination attempt. But you could be right, the chronic heart problems could be a different story entirely.

586 posted on 06/10/2005 2:37:33 PM PDT by Purrcival (TGIF!)
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To: beandog

ping me when it's back up also.

Thanks!


587 posted on 06/10/2005 2:38:50 PM PDT by jurroppi1
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To: CaliGirl-R
I was asking for a transcript last night for the same reason. LOL

i know--the pictures have been traumatic enough all by themselves.

588 posted on 06/10/2005 2:40:38 PM PDT by lieutenant columbo
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To: All
Have any of you read the rules of the Arab Parallel Universe?

Well, I realized they could be modified to fit the DU Parallel Universe, or DUPU. Here they are;

1. DUPUs never make mistakes, never lose elections, and never lose debates.
They may think they DUPed U but in reality, well, think Andy S Situation, you get the drift.

2. The Republicans and "red" Americans are always to blame for everything that is wrong in the DUPU.
If you doubt this just ask a DUPUer.

3. If there is any credit at all that can be contributed to DUPUs in any way, they will take it.
Along with this if there is ever any SNAFU it is impossible it is the fault of any DUPUer.

4. Good leadership is inversely related to how DUPU-friendly a leader is.
Think Howard Dean, the one who wrote the The Battle Hymn of the DUPU (produced by The Cult of the Stuck Record. They don't notice all five verses AND the chorus is the same cave man yell.)

5. Any media that is not official DUPU media is filled with Zionist, Jewish, American, Christian, imperialist, neo-conservative, (all anti-DUPU influences) and they LIE ALL THE TIME!

6. There is really no need for elections in the DUPU, because DUPU Presidents and Rulers are Worthy of being DUPU Presidents and Rulers for life.

7. The only viable alternative candidate to a current DUPU leader or president is the current DUPU leader or president’s Wife.
This is an obvious symptom of CWS. Many DUPUers are horribly afflicted with CWS (Clinton Withdrawal Syndrome), Intellectual Inbreeding, and various other problems limiting their offspring's numbers and viability. The DUPUers are at a severe disadvantage. With those outside the DUPU being free of these problems, the result will be little DUPUers being being vastly outnumbered and outwitted by little Freepers thus ensuring the continuing decline and ultimate demise of the DUPU.

589 posted on 06/10/2005 2:44:31 PM PDT by dynoman (Objectivity is the essence of intelligence. - Marylin vos Savant)
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To: dynoman; All

Thanks to a PM by someone who says they can't post here, I have this little tidbit posted by Andy on Feb 19th..

Andy_Stephenson Donating member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sat Feb-19-05 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Feel like I have been punched in the GUT



other than that I am feeling frisky.


590 posted on 06/10/2005 3:01:07 PM PDT by Krodg
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To: Krodg

"11. Feel like I have been punched in the GUT "

This was Feb.19? After goodboy states that he had his gallbladder removed? Any other reason given for feeling that way???


591 posted on 06/10/2005 3:36:06 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: imskylark

This was buried in another thread. If you want a link, let me know.


592 posted on 06/10/2005 3:39:32 PM PDT by Krodg
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To: An Old Marine

One time, when I visited my family visited our relatives in Louisiana, my uncle made this great crawdad feast. I don't remember it having sausage in it but it had potatoes and corn and the broth was really good.

The previous year, my aunt took me and my siblings crawdad fishing, but those were just boiled.


593 posted on 06/10/2005 3:41:12 PM PDT by Duke Nukum (Fiery the Angels rose & as they rose deep thunder roll'd around their shores)
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To: PJ-Comix

No wonder Pitt can't sleep. He realizes he has become a national laughingstock.

Now now, in order to be a national laughing stock, wouldn't the nation have to know who he is?

I don't know how old the thread was but I was reading a thread Pitt started where one of the other DUmmies called him vain.

It might have been some boring peice on how the dems are ripping themselves to shreds. Here it is, originall published on the 8th of June: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3814848#3815798

594 posted on 06/10/2005 3:50:10 PM PDT by Duke Nukum (Fiery the Angels rose & as they rose deep thunder roll'd around their shores)
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To: Krodg

I would like a link to that. Thanks.


595 posted on 06/10/2005 3:55:05 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: CAluvdubya

If they removed all that, he would DEFINATLY NOT feel like eating, would be doing so, soft foods, because he has to. And would be in considerable pain.


596 posted on 06/10/2005 4:01:06 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: commonguymd

It is and is in London. Spelled Lords though.


597 posted on 06/10/2005 4:11:25 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: commonguymd

LOL no need for stitches AND he is going to get those patches, can't remember who makes them, that take away scars. He won't have a scar either!! AMAZING I tell you!!!


598 posted on 06/10/2005 4:42:03 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Very nice write-up! As my son would say "Sweet!"


599 posted on 06/10/2005 5:04:15 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: gidget7

Andyites in DUmmieland noticed Scamdy was up, and now it's down.

Stupid DUmmies.

I had made an announcement Scamdy was up for the purposes of retrieval of the files--for about three hours today--after which it is being changed to another server, which gives the owners somewhat more, uh, freedom of speech.

"Freedom of speech"--surely a cause for which the DUmmies would celebrate, but the Andyites perhaps not.

DUmmies have got to read the DUmmie FUnnies from the beginning to the end, not just bits-and-pieces of the DUmmie FUnnies, if they want to know what's going on.


600 posted on 06/10/2005 5:23:13 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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