Posted on 06/01/2005 8:07:19 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
Its Pied Piper Pitts WORST nightmare. Scamdy has left Johns Hopkins Hospital (according to Scamdy) and is now posting in DUmmieland as you can see (UPDATE: Thread ELIMINATED by Skinner) in this THREAD titled, Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is? Actually, Scamdy, the only thing I really want to guess is why the April 27 FAX posted by your cheerleader Pitt as proof that you have pancreatic cancer was able to accurately predict back then that you would have surgery on the week of May 23 when it was ORIGINALLY scheduled for May 10. Perhaps Mrs. Harasaki is the one who sent the FAX and possesses some sort of psychic powers to look into the future since it wasnt until almost two weeks AFTER the FAX was sent that your surgery was rescheduled to the week of May 23. However, welcome back Scamdy. Your recovery has been truly miraculous. In fact you were even able to make cell phone calls and sing Broadway show tunes from your ICU and even make a few posts on the Web even though Pitt has recently threatened to smash you if you make more posts in DUmmieland. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! Apparently Skinner is also quite FRIGHTENED by Scamdys appearance in Dummieland since he just tossed this whole thread down the Memory Pitt. Unfortunately for Skinner most of that thread has been PRESERVED here on the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the jolly healthy Andy Stephenson posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many more of Scamdys posts will be tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Pitt, is in the [brackets]:
Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?
[The person who sent that Faux Fax that you suckered Pied Piper Pitt into posting on the Web as "proof that you had pancreatic cancer?]
Guess why this is important and you win a big door prize. First right guess gets a cupie doll.
[Thats KEWPIE Doll and I award those to DUmmies who have a very brief moment of mental clarity. Such an award will be given to the first DUmmie to wonder how someone who supposedly had pancreatic cancer surgery has managed to remain as incredibly active as you have been, Scamdy.]
Andy ... how ARE you doing? Shouldn't you be resting?
[Resting? Hell no! Scamdy is feeling so chipper on the heels of his pancreatic cancer surgery that he is happily belting out Broadway show tunes on his cell phone from his ICU.]
Yeah Andy. How are you feeling these days?
[MUCH BETTER than Pied Piper Pitt. Thats for sure! Pitt has been spending all his time recently on his knees staring mesmerized at Scamdys zipper while waiting to be fed the latest bogus document that pops out of Scamdys toaster.]
Not feeling so great...
the incision will hurt for at least 4 weeks...then I get to have chemo and radiation. Fuuuun!
[The Fuuuun begins when you hit up DUmmieland again for money to pay for the chemo and radiation therapy.]
Who ta hell is Harasaki? Isn't it past your bedtime?
[Why should Scamdy hit the sack when he is so full of energy and other things?]
I am in too much pain to sleep. got out of the hospital today and the bed I am in is...well not as comfortable as the Hopkins bed was.
[Scamdy is not comfortable in his hotel bed. Please send money now for Scamdy to stay in a 5-Star hotel room.]
Got drugs?
[Better hope that Pied Piper Pitt doesnt have drugs or we might have an OD case.]
yes but not as good as those delivered intravenously.
[Especially those drugs delivered via an intravenous rectal intrusion, Scamdy.]
Happy to see you in back in the game mode Andy!
[Just like he was back in ICU.]
I bet it was the surgeon, yes! and she was married to some other doctor but fell in love with Andy and got divorced and now she's the current Mrs. Andy Stephenson! And now that he's coming off the morphine he's thinking maybe he made a mistake.
[Yes, definitely a mistake. If Scamdy found himself married to Petra Verkaik he would also find himself in a state of deep revulsion. Now if that fantasy included marriage to Pied Piper Pitt, that would be so much more romantic to Scamdy.]
God I hope not the former Mrs H is well lets just say not the marryin type. Her chidren have been known to desecrate church sancturaries.
[Which is worse: desecrating church sanctuaries or scamming people on the Web?]
Your website has been linked by Melissa on CU. Is this where AndyScam is going to post his responses from JHH?
http://www.conservativeunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8260
Cindie
Welcome aboard, PINGEE #689.
Link?
In fact, I have been holding this back for more than 40 hours now, ever since I last went to the post office to pick up my mail (small town, no home delivery)--and returned home in a rather confused and distraught state of mind.....a mind which works at the speed of a glacier.
Anyway, the same day that the patient ostensibly had surgery at ostensibly Johns Hopkins, I had sent a telegram, via Western Union, signed return receipt requested, to be delivered to him either Thursday or Friday (of last week).
A great telegram, with nothing but honest sincere good wishes from the DUmmie FUnnies, for the patient--and sent on watermarked parchment paper, suitable for framing.
The return receipt (extra charge) offers three options: (a) accepted, signed for, (b) not accepted, not signed for, and (c) not found at this address.
Oh my.
So I go to pick up my mail 40 hours ago, and there is not only the return receipt but also the original telegram; the return receipt marked "not found at this address."
Oh my.
The brain-cells reeled; the brain-cells convulsed.
This surely complicates things, for all involved, and I am sorry for that.
Of course, we all know of the inefficiencies and lethargies of the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) at Johns Hopkins, and it is possible this was an honest mistake through no fault of the Andyites guarding the telephone-stand at the bedside.
But it seems to me it was a major mistake, on the part of the Andyites, to not break into the mail room to find this particular telegram--as they had ostensibly broken into the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) to find a missing $50,000 cashiers [sic] check (or was it a $32,000 and a $18,000, or a $43,000 and a $7,000, pair of cashiers [sic] checks?).
You see, if the Andyites had done that, and found and signed for the telegram, that would have given everybody involved--both sides of the issue--the first piece of non-internet, non-photoshopped, authentic physical evidence that the patient was actually there.
After which the Andyites could have gloated about their first non-prevarication in this matter, and we here in the DUmmie FUnnies would have had a whole hen-house of eggs on our faces.
It would have been a very good idea for the Andyites to find that telegram, and sign for it.
As it is now, once this is all said-and-done, I am sending the actual telegram (suitable for framing, remember) and its accompanying paperwork to P-J Comix, to use in his Mary Matalin editored book of the DUmmie FUnnies.
I truly hope no one reads this, because I mucked up the works, stirring up even more this fine kettle of rotten fish.
Scamdy NOT FOUND at Johns Hopkins. BTW, have you also noticed that Scamdy has NOT been found recently in DUmmieland. Has he been tombstoned or has he been warned to take a vow of Omerta for now?
You said there were 3 possibilities. accept, denied, and this one.
Hmmmm... considering my 7+ years in Indiana, you'd think this would turn out differently... then again, I never did quite get the hang of the local lingo. My personal pet peeve is the phrase "come with", where the object (me, us, etc.) is missing.
To my knowledge, the last Andy postings were on the DU thread from maybe Tuesday that started this DUFU. I don't know that he has posted anything in at least the last 48 hours.
Where's Andy?
I could swear I have heard the "Jay" story Pitt is telling, as a joke (not a real funny one). The line, "he bought a Barbie" sounds very familiar to me, but I could be wrong.
I just checked out that Pitt thread about gays. Guess what's missing? Any mention of the most PROMINENT Gay in DUmmieland---Andy Stephenson. In fact Pitt has YET to talk about how Scamdy REALLY had pancreatic cancer due to the "proof" provided by the bogus documents he posted on the Web. BTW, he did talk about "Gay Jay." I feel song potential here with a parody song to the tune of "Tall Paul." Songwriters, start your engines for a Gay Jay parody song!
You know, I thought the same thing. It was the "Barbie" part that made me think I'd heard that before somewhere.
Saw it, had to post it.
I found out last night that sometimes if they get the "10 of swords" or the "cups" card, they know for sure that Bush is in trouble and Kerry will be president!
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