In fact, I have been holding this back for more than 40 hours now, ever since I last went to the post office to pick up my mail (small town, no home delivery)--and returned home in a rather confused and distraught state of mind.....a mind which works at the speed of a glacier.
Anyway, the same day that the patient ostensibly had surgery at ostensibly Johns Hopkins, I had sent a telegram, via Western Union, signed return receipt requested, to be delivered to him either Thursday or Friday (of last week).
A great telegram, with nothing but honest sincere good wishes from the DUmmie FUnnies, for the patient--and sent on watermarked parchment paper, suitable for framing.
The return receipt (extra charge) offers three options: (a) accepted, signed for, (b) not accepted, not signed for, and (c) not found at this address.
Oh my.
So I go to pick up my mail 40 hours ago, and there is not only the return receipt but also the original telegram; the return receipt marked "not found at this address."
Oh my.
The brain-cells reeled; the brain-cells convulsed.
This surely complicates things, for all involved, and I am sorry for that.
Of course, we all know of the inefficiencies and lethargies of the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) at Johns Hopkins, and it is possible this was an honest mistake through no fault of the Andyites guarding the telephone-stand at the bedside.
But it seems to me it was a major mistake, on the part of the Andyites, to not break into the mail room to find this particular telegram--as they had ostensibly broken into the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) to find a missing $50,000 cashiers [sic] check (or was it a $32,000 and a $18,000, or a $43,000 and a $7,000, pair of cashiers [sic] checks?).
You see, if the Andyites had done that, and found and signed for the telegram, that would have given everybody involved--both sides of the issue--the first piece of non-internet, non-photoshopped, authentic physical evidence that the patient was actually there.
After which the Andyites could have gloated about their first non-prevarication in this matter, and we here in the DUmmie FUnnies would have had a whole hen-house of eggs on our faces.
It would have been a very good idea for the Andyites to find that telegram, and sign for it.
As it is now, once this is all said-and-done, I am sending the actual telegram (suitable for framing, remember) and its accompanying paperwork to P-J Comix, to use in his Mary Matalin editored book of the DUmmie FUnnies.
I truly hope no one reads this, because I mucked up the works, stirring up even more this fine kettle of rotten fish.
Scamdy NOT FOUND at Johns Hopkins. BTW, have you also noticed that Scamdy has NOT been found recently in DUmmieland. Has he been tombstoned or has he been warned to take a vow of Omerta for now?
You said there were 3 possibilities. accept, denied, and this one.
So I go to pick up my mail 40 hours ago, and there is not only the return receipt but also the original telegram; the return receipt marked "not found at this address."
Oh my.
Hmmm.
Andy not found at that address on the date of his surgery according to Western Union.
Just, hmmm.